You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

[fuserxrx]

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only true religion.

Once you have been touched by HIS noodly appendage and become a true pastafarian you will see the light.

CONVERT and be saved....

...in our heaven there is beer volcano, and strippers!!!!

Ramen.

May the sauce be upon you!!

[Marshall]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

That is ridiculous. Are you currently high?

[fuserxrx]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

High? Not yet...

It's not ridiculous, there is as much evidence to prove His noodly goodness exists as yours.

We have cooler commandments too.

Behold, the 8 I really rather you didn't's:

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go fuck yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.
6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

Ramen

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Oh my, another clueless FSM worshiper.

Listen clown, Christians have no time for people who believe in books written by someone who talked to an invisible man. Ok?

[Marshall]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

He talks too much. Has anyone ever explained how God sent Jesus Christ to die for your sins?

[fuserxrx]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

He talks too much. Has anyone ever explained how God sent Jesus Christ to die for your sins?

Yeah I've seen that movie, man did he ever have a rough go of it eh?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Yeah I've seen that movie, man did he ever have a rough go of it eh?

No were near as rough as you will have it if you persist on rejecting Christ's unconditional love.

[fuserxrx]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Oh my, another clueless FSM worshiper.

Listen clown, Christians have no time for people who believe in books written by someone who talked to an invisible man. Ok?

Touche'

Oh look you guys already have a pirate icon for me...suppose there are no FSM ones around, are there?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Touche'

Oh look you guys already have a pirate icon for me...suppose there are no FSM ones around, are there?

Yes -> <- there you go.

[fuserxrx]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Yes -> <- there you go.

Ramen.....I'll be looking something like that hanging out at His Noodliness' Beer Volcano.

[JRFinn]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Yay! A fellow pastafarian! I wish I could say welcome, except for the most part, you aren't. They're just that kind of people.

[Marshall]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Whores of a feather.

[fuserxrx]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

Yay! A fellow pastafarian! I wish I could say welcome, except for the most part, you aren't. They're just that kind of people.

I'll take the welcome anyway!!

Cheers.

I used to belong to this forum like a year ago - sent me a happy birthday greeting but couldn't remember my password. Thought I'd check back in....still as fun as ever.

....and still glad I can stack up a infraction with every post.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

I'll take the welcome anyway!!

Cheers.

I used to belong to this forum like a year ago - sent me a happy birthday greeting but couldn't remember my password. Thought I'd check back in....still as fun as ever.

....and still glad I can stack up a infraction with every post.

We have been doing battle with the leader of your cult of piracy, sodomy and rum for some time here on God's favorite forum. He has lost every skirmish miserably, but like a drunken sailor, doesn't know when to stay down.

[fuserxrx]

Re: You are all FALSE, Mine is the TRUTH

We have been doing battle with the leader of your cult of piracy, sodomy and rum for some time here on God's favorite forum. He has lost every skirmish miserably, but like a drunken sailor, doesn't know when to stay down.

Thank you kindly for the heads up...I had suspected we had already infiltrated the ranks here.