[Nancy (Quarantined)]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I think you guys follow the bible so well: you guys are so loving and kind! (It means: doesn't de bible also say to love your fellow human... It's all in the details, mate )

should we just ignore these 'senior pastors'? they are really annoying me....they are actually just taking quotes out of the Bible and twisting the meanings.

you know what this site is? well, its taking the mikey.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I think you guys follow the bible so well: you guys are so loving and kind! (It means: doesn't de bible also say to love your fellow human... It's all in the details, mate )

Care to back your smug pronouncement by showing us were in The Bible it says that friend???

[G-Baby]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Care to back your smug pronouncement by showing us were in The Bible it says that friend???

And for the element of surprise, I'm not going to tell...
YOU are the ones who know the bible so well! So you tell me, than I know rather you know the bible like you guys say you do.

Waiting...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

And for the element of surprise, I'm not going to tell...
YOU are the ones who know the bible so well! So you tell me, than I know rather you know the bible like you guys say you do.

Waiting...

Listen sissy, if you can't back up your nonsense with scripture, then you are just pulling it out of your ass. We back everything we say with the Holy KJV Bible. You made the claim, now either prove it with God's Holy Word, or admit that you are a liar.

My guess is you've never even opened a Bible, am I right?

[G-Baby]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Listen sissy, if you can't back up your nonsense with scripture, then you are just pulling it out of your ass. We back everything we say with the Holy KJV Bible. You made the claim, now either prove it with God's Holy Word, or admit that you are a liar.

My guess is you've never even opened a Bible, am I right?

How could YOU know? I'm here in Belgium...
I've made my first Communion and my solemn one. And I was baptized also. (I regret it now, actually, but anyway...) In preparing lessons we DID read the bible. So I know what's in it. And you should know too.

Here you are :
Matteüs 22:36-40

Thou shalt love thou Lord, your God, with whole thou heart and with all thou reason. ... Thou shalt love thou fellow human like yourself.

(So I didn't open a bible??)


PS: I've tried to transelate it correctly from a holy bible into correct English, I'm sorry for if I've used some wrong words.

Did I pull it out of my ass? I don't know where you stick your holy bible, but I DON'T stick it in my ass, you know.

PS: I think I've given you more usefull back ups than you did to me.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You are obviously looking at some false Bible, edited by some eurotrash heathen and passed off as authentic to ignorant foreign scum such as yourself. True Christians™ use the one true Bible; the KJV 1611 Authorized Version.

Matthew 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Do you "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind" you insufferable fool? Of course not. You are here to spit on Jesus and persecute His chosen.

Now, do me a favor and run outside your hovel or shack or whatever you call home and see if I'm living next door to you. See if even one True Christian™ lives anywhere near you. Go ahead, I'll wait......

Okay, what did you see? Am I your neighbor? Of course not. You don't even speak American. I would never live anywhere near the cesspool you call home, nor would any self-respecting Christian. You see, Jesus was speaking to His followers about THEIR neighbors. The neighbors of Christians are OTHER Christians. Jesus certainly wasn't advocating for Christians to love heathen scum and homers like you. Surely you aren't THAT thick?


You have rejected Jesus and instead worship satan. Here is what Jesus has to say about you:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Any more questions, homer?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You are obviously looking at some false Bible, edited by some eurotrash heathen and passed off as authentic to ignorant foreign scum such as yourself. True Christians™ use the one true Bible; the KJV 1611 Authorized Version.

Matthew 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Do you "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind" you insufferable fool? Of course not. You are here to spit on Jesus and persecute His chosen.

Now, do me a favor and run outside your hovel or shack or whatever you call home and see if I'm living next door to you. See if even one True Christian™ lives anywhere near you. Go ahead, I'll wait......

Okay, what did you see? Am I your neighbor? Of course not. You don't even speak American. I would never live anywhere near the cesspool you call home, nor would any self-respecting Christian. You see, Jesus was speaking to His followers about THEIR neighbors. The neighbors of Christians are OTHER Christians. Jesus certainly wasn't advocating for Christians to love heathen scum and homers like you. Surely you aren't THAT thick?


You have rejected Jesus and instead worship satan. Here is what Jesus has to say about you:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Any more questions, homer?

According to the parable of the good Samaritan, "neighbor" isn't defined by geography.

[G-Baby]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You are obviously looking at some false Bible, edited by some eurotrash heathen and passed off as authentic to ignorant foreign scum such as yourself. True Christians™ use the one true Bible; the KJV 1611 Authorized Version.

Matthew 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Those sentences are common to those in my bible. I just spelled the sentences wrong, like I said I could do.

Do you "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind" you insufferable fool? Of course not. You are here to spit on Jesus and persecute His chosen.
As far as I know, I didn't spit on Jesus. It would be kind a low to spit on a dead men...
Yes, I'm the great plague!!! :p

Now, do me a favor and run outside your hovel or shack or whatever you call home and see if I'm living next door to you. See if even one True Christian™ lives anywhere near you. Go ahead, I'll wait......
Yes, there are But they aren't as radical and as rude as you are.

Okay, what did you see? Am I your neighboUr? (I see you don't speek proper american either... ) Of course not. You don't even speak American. I would never live anywhere near the cesspool you call home, nor would any self-respecting Christian. You see, Jesus was speaking to His followers about THEIR neighbors. The neighbors of Christians are OTHER Christians. Jesus certainly wasn't advocating for Christians to love heathen scum and homers like you. Surely you aren't THAT thick?
You're missing the point here. A fellow human doesn't have to be a NEIGHBOUR.


You have rejected Jesus and instead worship satan. Here is what Jesus has to say about you:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Any more questions, homer?

Doh!?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You're missing the point here. A fellow human doesn't have to be a NEIGHBOUR.

No friend, like the false Christian you are you are taking your words and claiming they are Christ's. What Jesus really is saying we should not associate with the unsaved, live in our own communities and love each other in those communities. Frankly I find hypocrites like you just disgusting; you accuse us TRUE Christians of deceiving people about God and then promptly go off and spew out false scripture. You will have to answer to God Himself in the hereafter for your lies G-Baby.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

According to the parable of the good Samaritan, "neighbor" isn't defined by geography.

Quite correct. It isn't defined by geography, it is defined by shared values. We have no shared values with militant sodomites like your husband or Islamist dogs like this G-Had Baby, so you are not our neighbours.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Quite correct. It isn't defined by geography, it is defined by shared values. We have no shared values with militant sodomites like your husband or Islamist dogs like this G-Had Baby, so you are not our neighbours.

And yet, if I found you hurt and bleeding on the side of the road, I would not inquire as to your beliefs, or even your name. I would simply begin administering first aid.

You, on the other hand, apparently would not cross the street to urinate on me if I was on fire unless I was a TC.

You're right. We don't have the same values.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

And yet, if I found you hurt and bleeding on the side of the road, I would not inquire as to your beliefs, or even your name. I would simply begin administering first aid.

You, on the other hand, apparently would not cross the street to urinate on me if I was on fire unless I was a TC.

You're right. We don't have the same values.

What is wrong with you, woman? What are we doing here? Trying to get you to give us your money. And why are we doing this? Because we love you, and know that it is a necessary prerequisite for you to get into Heaven. The reason we're putting so much time and effort into ministering to you is because we don't want you to spend eternity burning in Hell while Satan urinates sulfurous gasoline up your nostrils.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

What is wrong with you, woman? What are we doing here? Trying to get you to give us your money. And why are we doing this? Because we love you, and know that it is a necessary prerequisite for you to get into Heaven. The reason we're putting so much time and effort into ministering to you is because we don't want you to spend eternity burning in Hell while Satan urinates sulfurous gasoline up your nostrils.

If money is needed to get you into heaven, then heaven is no different from anything else where you buy an admission ticket. I'd rather spend my money on a ticket to Disneyworld.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

If money is needed to get you into heaven, then heaven is no different from anything else where you buy an admission ticket. I'd rather spend my money on a ticket to Disneyworld.

Does Disneyworld give you a money back guarantee like Landover does?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Does Disneyworld give you a money back guarantee like Landover does?

Tell me this - if I gave money to Landover and bought your salvation package, and then went to hell after I died, how exactly would I go about getting my money back?