How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knockers?

[Soulless Husk]

Hello all,

I am sure I am not the only one in this basket so I would like to hear good TRUE CHRISTIAN's thoughts on how to deal with door knocking Jehovah's?

I have tried everything from Throwing buckets of holy water on them, setting death traps with a Golden ticket to heaven as bait, employing Holy Hounds to do God's good work, and many other methods, but they always seem to get past these defenses and to my front door where they use their underhanded tactics to try convert me.

So how does the good LORD say we should deal with these Harbingers of Hell?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Rottweilers

[Nobar King]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Let's see what pastor Steve has to say about it:

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

I don't have that problem since my mansion has a perimeter fence and all traffic going into my complex has to pass through an armed security checkpoint.

But, I advise people to never, ever let them into your house, even if you want to try and convert them.

2nd John 1:9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
2nd John 1:10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:
2nd John 1:11 For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.

We are commanded not to let unsaved scum like Jehovah Witnesses into our houses.

[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

They can't come in if you don't invite them.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Hello all,

I am sure I am not the only one in this basket so I would like to hear good TRUE CHRISTIAN's thoughts on how to deal with door knocking Jehovah's?

I normally throw javelins at them from my roof.

[Soulless Husk]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Let's see what pastor Steve has to say about it:

Ok, so it seems like the only way to effectively take care of a Jehovah lover is to use the word of God as our ammo, and the KJV Bible as our gun, and unleash a s**tstorm of holy lead on these false Idol worshipping Jehovah miscreants.

Thanks Nobar.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

I answer the door naked. Works every time.

ETA: I'm pretty gross naked. I sometimes step on parts of myself I shouldn't be stepping on.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

I answer the door naked. Works every time.

ETA: I'm pretty gross naked. I sometimes step on parts of myself I shouldn't be stepping on.

Brother, try not to tempt the pure women of this forum with your husky hairy pale white Christian stature.
They may do something they'll regret.

[Soulless Husk]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

How about using a sign like:

"We do Christian baptism's, bring your wife along and your child gets in free."

[BelieverInGod]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

In reality, one easy way of dealing with them is to send the wife to the door.

Me: You believe a wife should submit to her husband, correct?
Them: er.... um..... yes?
Me: Good, my husband says I shouldn't speak to you.

There really is no response to that, especially when the Rottweiler is sitting beside me.

If you're single, try buying "Guard dog on duty" signs. Not "Beware of dog" everyone with a teacup poodle has one of those. Somehow that sign saying "Guard dog" gets them a little nervous.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Brother, try not to tempt the pure women of this forum with your husky hairy pale white Christian stature.
They may do something they'll regret.

I know my wife did. She regrets, and regrets and regrets...

[True Disciple]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Why all this trouble? Just shoot them down. Or do you live in a liberal state where the law forbids you to shoot trespassers?

[Soulless Husk]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Why all this trouble? Just shoot them down. Or do you live in a liberal state where the law forbids you to shoot trespassers?

Hail Disciple! Now that is a surefire way to solve the problem; a final solution if you will. I will remember that next time I hear a knocking on my door.

[True Disciple]

Re: How to deal with non Christian Jehovah's witness door knocker

Hail Disciple! Now that is a surefire way to solve the problem; a final solution if you will. I will remember that next time I hear a knocking on my door.

You're welcome!