[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

What do you do to those walking and reading Harry Potter?

I wait for them to walk into a light post or (preferably) into traffic.

[Celtic (Quarantined)]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

It's called "multi-tasking" and sometimes I don't even have to do that. How many pies do you think I bake on a daily basis? For your information, I make two. A decoy for the kitchen window, and one for my husband, Mr. Whitford. Today's pie was huckleberry, and he found it very delicious, thank you very much. As for making babies for Jesus, for crying out loud, unlike unsaved trollops like yourself, we have self-control and aren't pawing at each other 12 hours out of every day! Not that it's any of your business, but I submit to my wifely duty once or twice a month, when I am most likely to conceive. My husband's former life was consumed by lust, so he knows it's best to limit when we join.
My husband is also very successful in his business, so we have a maid who does the cleaning, a gardener for to take care of our grounds, and a cook who handles all kitchen duties other than the pies Mr. Whitford tells me I must bake to help remind me of my place.
While he's at work, I spend much of my day studying the Bible lessons he gives me the previous evening, and working on the report I have to write each week showing I remember and understand everything he has taught me.
This still leaves me plenty of time for witnessing, and as everyone I know is saved (except my family, who are papal cultists doomed to Hell), I'm allowed to come here during my free time and witness to the unsaved trash who insist on coming to this forum to persecute us.
That includes preaching the Gospel to the likes of you, something God commands all of us to do. I just can't be an actual preacher with a congregation. I am allowed to witness, rebuke, and stand on a corner in Des Moines shouting of God's love to the passers-by and passing out tracts.

What do you do to those walking and reading Harry Potter?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

Funny how this young married woman has all the time in the world to want to pick an online fight with a non-LBC member like me, when she should be baking pies for her husband and making babies...(soldiers who will later fight for Christ). She should be catering to her husband instead of wanting to preach the Gospel to me. I mean, isn't that a man's job?

It's called "multi-tasking" and sometimes I don't even have to do that. How many pies do you think I bake on a daily basis? For your information, I make two. A decoy for the kitchen window, and one for my husband, Mr. Whitford. Today's pie was huckleberry, and he found it very delicious, thank you very much. As for making babies for Jesus, for crying out loud, unlike unsaved trollops like yourself, we have self-control and aren't pawing at each other 12 hours out of every day! Not that it's any of your business, but I submit to my wifely duty once or twice a month, when I am most likely to conceive. My husband's former life was consumed by lust, so he knows it's best to limit when we join.
My husband is also very successful in his business, so we have a maid who does the cleaning, a gardener for to take care of our grounds, and a cook who handles all kitchen duties other than the pies Mr. Whitford tells me I must bake to help remind me of my place.
While he's at work, I spend much of my day studying the Bible lessons he gives me the previous evening, and working on the report I have to write each week showing I remember and understand everything he has taught me.
This still leaves me plenty of time for witnessing, and as everyone I know is saved (except my family, who are papal cultists doomed to Hell), I'm allowed to come here during my free time and witness to the unsaved trash who insist on coming to this forum to persecute us.
That includes preaching the Gospel to the likes of you, something God commands all of us to do. I just can't be an actual preacher with a congregation. I am allowed to witness, rebuke, and stand on a corner in Des Moines shouting of God's love to the passers-by and passing out tracts.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

First of all, not all men are intelligent and honest. Charlie Manson, David Koresh, Jim Jones and John Wayne Gacy were dishonest psycho freaks, but they were still MEN.

Yes, they were dishonest psycho freaks, but they were also a good deal smarter than you are. You could learn a lot from Jim Jones!

How would you know that I would be a shameful child?

Because children that aren't shameful don't backsass! Or sassback!

You do not know me personally. But I'm pretty sure that I know about you.

Oh, double standards, eh?

You are a sheep; a clone; a follower. If a church member told you to drink cyanide laced Kool-Aid because God wanted you too, I fear that you would sadly obey.

What? Are you saying that if GOD wanted you to drink cyanide laced Kool-Aid, you wouldn't? What's wrong with you?

Lesbian pennycostal yammering snipped...

Call me all the names you want. I don't care. I know that if someone told me to give all my money to the church, while I went hungry, or to sacrifice my life to Jesus, because suicide is the best, I would know that they are full of s&^%. However, it is sad that I cannot say the same for you.

It is said that you have no FAITH! Have you ever even read the Bible? Do you remember the poor widow from Luke 21:1-4?

Please don't manipulate your congregation by bringing Jesus into this.

Friend, GOD is omnipotent. That means we don't have to bring Jesus into this, He is already here.

If Jesus truly spoke unto you, Brother, he would tell you the truth...that I am not a lesbian, nor have I ever tried such a thing. I am not lesbo, nor have I ever had ANY sexual feelings for women. FYI, I also am not into black men or other non-white men either.

Oh, so you're a racist now?

That leg scissor comment you made was uncalled for too, Pastor. Just as much as anything I said to Sister Mary Maria. She accused me of gawking at her with lust, (which is NOT so), because she felt threatened because I insulted her, and she was looking for a come-back.

Friend, one more lesbonic reference to Sister Mary "coming" and you'll be banned for life!

Now if you think that I said things to her which was uncalled for, I am truly sorry. But she is no better.

Yes she is. She's a lot better than you. She's not going to Hell, for one thing.

Funny how this young married woman has all the time in the world to want to pick an online fight with a non-LBC member like me, when she should be baking pies for her husband and making babies...(soldiers who will later fight for Christ). She should be catering to her husband instead of wanting to preach the Gospel to me. I mean, isn't that a man's job?

First of all, who's picking fights? Who came to whose forum? Second of all, I am 100% sure that Sister Mary has baked all the pies she needs to for the day, and she can hardly make babies while her husband is out at work now can she? Preaching the Gospel to men is a man's job, but when it comes to female retarteds I'd say it's possible for a woman to do it without getting ideas above her station.

[brattyyank (On Moderation)]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

Friend,

You are welcome to post to this forum but this attempt to debauch yourself on Sister Mary Maria is unacceptable. Jesus has shown us your' thespians' "method" so look elsewhere for a leg scissor partner.

Please don't manipulate your congregation by bringing Jesus into this. If Jesus truly spoke unto you, Brother, he would tell you the truth...that I am not a lesbian, nor have I ever tried such a thing. I am not lesbo, nor have I ever had ANY sexual feelings for women. FYI, I also am not into black men or other non-white men either. My husband is white. And I have a monogamous relationship with him. We have been married for over 5 years now.

I did not call Sister Mary Maria beautiful. I did not even come close. I said that she looked more wholesome (more church-like). Meaning that, because she doesn't wear make-up or bleach her hair. Nor does she wear a sleeveless dress in her picture, like the other pictures of the women on this message board. Making an obvious observation, does not make me lesbo. I was just pointing out that she looked more like the women who attended my mother's church, years ago. I was told that wearing make-up and sexy dresses were a sin. Nothing against the women in this church who wish to dress that way though. That was just what I was taught as a child.

That leg scissor comment you made was uncalled for too, Pastor. Just as much as anything I said to Sister Mary Maria. She accused me of gawking at her with lust, (which is NOT so), because she felt threatened because I insulted her, and she was looking for a come-back.

Now if you think that I said things to her which was uncalled for, I am truly sorry. But she is no better. Funny how this young married woman has all the time in the world to want to pick an online fight with a non-LBC member like me, when she should be baking pies for her husband and making babies...(soldiers who will later fight for Christ). She should be catering to her husband instead of wanting to preach the Gospel to me. I mean, isn't that a man's job?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

lusting after your picture...don't flatter yourself. I'm straight. I do not wish to argue w/you.

Friend,

You are welcome to post to this forum but this attempt to debauch yourself on Sister Mary Maria is unacceptable. Jesus has shown us your' thespians' "method" so look elsewhere for a leg scissor partner.

[Seeker]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

Judas Priest! Just when I thought I was mouthy. Chattycathy

[brattyyank (On Moderation)]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

Our church is as serious as God's Holy Word and the threat of the fiery pits of Hell! God's Word is as real today as it was 2000 years ago, as it was 6000 years ago at the beginning of time. There are many who lie to try and discredit us, and it seems you are one of them. There is a reason we call your kind LIEberals here. The truth is as foreign to you as reason and logic are to an evilutionist.
I would also appreciate it if you'd stop lusting after my picture. I am a happily married woman and it makes me very uncomfortable.
Finally, did your mother read the King James Bible? If not, she didn't read the same Bible as we do. Even if she did, she made a huge mistake in "interpreting" it. There is nothing to interpret in the Bible. God didn't make some sort of puzzle for humanity to try and figure out. He wrote a plain-spoken book that literally means everything it says.

lusting after your picture...don't flatter yourself. I'm straight. I do not wish to argue w/you.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

Blah blah blah. Sinful blather. Yippetty yap. Blah blah blah.

Our church is as serious as God's Holy Word and the threat of the fiery pits of Hell! God's Word is as real today as it was 2000 years ago, as it was 6000 years ago at the beginning of time. There are many who lie to try and discredit us, and it seems you are one of them. There is a reason we call your kind LIEberals here. The truth is as foreign to you as reason and logic are to an evilutionist.
I would also appreciate it if you'd stop lusting after my picture. I am a happily married woman and it makes me very uncomfortable.
Finally, did your mother read the King James Bible? If not, she didn't read the same Bible as we do. Even if she did, she made a huge mistake in "interpreting" it. There is nothing to interpret in the Bible. God didn't make some sort of puzzle for humanity to try and figure out. He wrote a plain-spoken book that literally means everything it says.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

divine revelation ????

That is NOT the words I used. I used the word DIVINE REVELATION. However, when I wrote the words, it came up "divine revelation" as soon as it was submitted.

Ummmm.....well, so far I can't quite understand the problem. Maybe you need to go on moderation for a day or two and get the crack out of your system.

[brattyyank (On Moderation)]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

divine revelation ????

That is NOT the words I used. I used the word DIVINE REVELATION. However, when I wrote the words, it came up "divine revelation" as soon as it was submitted.

[brattyyank (On Moderation)]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

What's with the annoying font? I fixed it in the quote to make it less annoying. It seems like every time I see someone do something "different" with their font, it's because their words contain nothing substantial to make them stand out.
Anyway, your mother didn't go to a real church, and likely didn't read the real Bible as True Christians™ raise True Christians™, and you would be a great shame to any True Christian™ parent.

Annoying font? At least it remains the same color as everyone elses. My writing is not huge at all. Excuse me for making the writing look one grade larger than normal and of a prettier style of font.

How would you know that I would be a shameful child? You do not know me personally. But I'm pretty sure that I know about you. You are a sheep; a clone; a follower. If a church member told you to drink cyanide laced Kool-Aid because God wanted you too, I fear that you would sadly obey.

Your picture looks more real than the Paris Hilton/Pamela Anderson wannabes here (no offense ladies). You look more like the "devout" Christian. Their pics look like the painted ladies that my mother's pennycostal church referred to as cheap dime store hookers. Again, no offense ladies. I think your pics are beautiful, but the pennycostal church would hate it. Sister Mary Maria plays more of the wholesome part here.

You frighten me, Sister Mary Maria. It's people like you and Brother Temperance who take this parody of a harsh religion totally to heart. It is stated only that the LBC is a parody. In other words, nothing that they say or do should be taken all seriously, for they are half joking most of the time. They are mostly making fun and play acting. For that is what a parody is...correct? It's not 100% true. But you take it all to be the truth. It's a little lamb like you who will listen to any ridiculous line they (or anybody else) will tell you. (They could be joking for all you know). And your little, naive, country bumpkin behind will harm yourself or others just to please the church. That's what frightens me.

As for my mother....nothing you say about me or her will insult me. I know her church sucked in the worst way. They were all bible bashing, hypocrite pennycostals. They were confused dimwits, just like yourself. But you are not pennycostal...just a naive little Baptist. My mother read the same Bible as you all did too. It was just interpreted slightly different.

Call me all the names you want. I don't care. I know that if someone told me to give all my money to the church, while I went hungry, or to sacrifice my life to Jesus, because suicide is the best, I would know that they are full of s&^%. However, it is sad that I cannot say the same for you.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

First of all, not all men are intelligent and honest. Charlie Manson, David Koresh, Jim Jones and John Wayne Gacy were dishonest psycho freaks, but they were still MEN.

I know that you and Pastor Zeke are Christians and that sister Mary Maria is a follower in the church. BUT my question to her was that wasn't there ANYTHING that either one of you said that she didn't agree with. This is not a naughty, rebellious, heathen attitude, coming from me. It was just a question. My mother went to church too and was a follower. She read her Bible and claimed to be saved, YET she didn't always agree 100% with what the pastor said.

What's with the annoying font? I fixed it in the quote to make it less annoying. It seems like every time I see someone do something "different" with their font, it's because their words contain nothing substantial to make them stand out.
Anyway, your mother didn't go to a real church, and likely didn't read the real Bible as True Christians(tm) raise True Christians(tm), and you would be a great shame to any True Christian(tm) parent.

[brattyyank (On Moderation)]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

HELLO! We're men; she's a woman. What's so hard to understand about that?

First of all, not all men are intelligent and honest. Charlie Manson, David Koresh, Jim Jones and John Wayne Gacy were dishonest psycho freaks, but they were still MEN.

I know that you and Pastor Zeke are Christians and that sister Mary Maria is a follower in the church. BUT my question to her was that wasn't there ANYTHING that either one of you said that she didn't agree with. This is not a naughty, rebellious, heathen attitude, coming from me. It was just a question. My mother went to church too and was a follower. She read her Bible and claimed to be saved, YET she didn't always agree 100% with what the pastor said.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: What do you guys find wrong with people having different reli

Do note: This was after the fall of rome, when the only language was latin. They couldn't teach others to read or write, as the franks or vikings would kill them. They had to live on tiny islands just to survive.

The VIKINGS would kill them?

..You went to public school didn't you?
Seeing as you can't even tell vandals and vikings apart!
And the rest of your story is complete BS.. you've made it up.
I mean, "the only language was latin"? "They had to live on tiny islands"?


Only thing you got straight was the fact that Rome fell..
...But you thought it was caused by vikings!


Friend, we're not idiots here.. We know enough history to have a clue, obviously quite unlike you -
Who's got no clue whatsoever, but try to cover it up by making up dumb stories.