Those Witness People!

[Bernice Gratsch]

There I was minding my own business in the privacy of my single family home, reading the Scripture and highlighting a favorite passage with my new set of markers.

Then, all of the sudden the doorbell rang. Well, there were two large Nigra womenfolk at my door. Can you imagine?

They jabbered on about some Jehovah Witness gobbledygook! I was stunned and afraid, but insisted that I know Jesus much better than they do and sent them on their way with a good door slamming!

When our dear sister Sarah Palin becomes President, will she be able to enact legislation to outlaw all these Satanic Cults?



In Christ,
- Bernice

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Those Witness People!

For a second there, Bernice, I thought you were posting from Freehold!

That would indeed be a major security breach!

But I see you are posting from liberal Lima, Ohio. Well, I am sure Jehovah's Witlesses are as common as illegal Messicans there.

I do admit some surprise, I did not know the Jehovah bunch employed negresses.

. . . or was that the Mormons?

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Those Witness People!

When our dear sister Sarah Palin becomes President, will she be able to enact legislation to outlaw all these Satanic Cults?

Well... the President is not one to enact legislation... that would be the legislative branch. Are you home-schooled like the other Baptwits here?

As for the Alaskan load-catcher... she is, to my knowledge, an Assemblies of God type and they are basically Pantycoastals anyhow meaning her cultish off-shoot is no more Christian than those in the Jehovah's Wetness programme.




Bless you, my demonstrably dim doryphore,
Father Mo





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[Brother Scott]

Re: Those Witness People!

I remember the last time those false Christians™ came to my door. I was sitting at my kitchen table reading Revelations (my favorite book of the Bible) when I heard a knock upon my door. I went to answer and found two people holding pamphlets about whatever heresy they were spreading and they had the nerve to ask me, "When you die.....are you sure your soul will go to Heaven™?" To which I replied, "Yes.....I will go to Heaven™. Jesus™ loves me as much as I love Him, which is more than I can say for you and your so called religion. Now kindly remove yourselves from my doorstep before I am forced to do God's work™ and send you to the fiery pit that you will no doubt end up in anyway. And take that pedophile catholic neighbor of mine with you."


I am happy to report, that these heretics have not been back since.






Praise Jesus™!!!!

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Those Witness People!

I do admit some surprise, I did not know the Jehovah bunch employed negresses.

. . . or was that the Mormons?

It is the mormons. I lived in Baltimore for quite some time and let me tell you, if you walk by the Lexington Market at lunch time all you see are blacks dressed in, what is for them, fine clothes passing out copies of the Watchtower. I had to run that gauntlet many times as I visited the U of MD School of Law for a semester.

Jesus abhors these false prophets:

1 John 4:1 (King James Version)
1Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.