Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible?
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Gabriel Reproba's Avatar
Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Saved 1 Year The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Punched the most queers TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Divorcee Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-12-2010, 05:58 PM

Unbelievably, many people come to our place of on-line fellowship only to try and tell us that we are wrong to follow all of God’s law as spelled out in the Holy Bible. Since this continues to happen, I thought I would repeat what has been said 1,000s of times in this forum. We follow the word of God in the Holy Bible to the letter. Some of you seem to think this is somehow humorous. Even those of you who claim to believe in God and Jesus Christ. Perhaps I need to give you an example that you can understand as to why your pick-and-choose method is untenable:

Imagine one of your dearest loved ones (Mother, daughter, son, etc) is viciously tortured and murdered, the whole thing videotaped and broadcast on the internet. The murderer is arrested and convicted of first degree murder. The Judge then sentences him to a $50.00 fine and 6 points on his driver's license. Wait...what? Fifty bucks and…and a driver’s license point deduction? What the heck? You have researched the law. You know it inside and out. You KNOW that the text of the law says that anyone convicted of First Degree Murder shall be sentenced at LEAST to life without parole if not sentenced to death. (And before any of you start screaming about the death penalty…get over yourselves for one moment and stay focused.)

"Wait, your honor," you say as you rise in objection. “The LAW says that murderers should be locked up for the rest of their lives or executed. You can't sentence him to a fine and drivers license points!" The judge, along with most people in the courtroom, chuckles. He removes his glasses and looks down at you and smiles. “You are obviously confused or a simpleton. Reading the literal text of that law leads us to cruel and inhumane punishments. Society has evolved past such ways as locking a person in a cell for the rest of their life. If you read the statute IN CONTEXT, taking into account all the information that the legislators had available to them when they passed the law, you can see that what they really meant is that you shouldn't murder people, but if you do, you should feel bad about it and that will be enough.”

"This is insane!" you think to yourself. Even more confusing is how almost everyone else in the room is smiling and nodding in agreement with the judge. The prosecuting attorney comes up to you and hands you a book entitled, David Shapiro’s Criminal Law Study Guide: What the statutes REALLY say about crime and punishment! “Take a look at this,” says the attorney. “You really shouldn’t read the straight text of the law without using a study guide to tell you what it means…unless you are an attorney or a judge, of course.”

Striking the book out of the attorney’s hands you turn back to the judge and say, "But...but this is not what the PLAIN TEXT OF THE LAW says! You can't just change or ignore parts of the law you personally don't like! The law is the law and you can't change it just because you are uncomfortable with it!"

The judge replies, "You think that the law is literal? Hah! Stupid fool! That you can't see that the law is a set of allegories that must evolve with the times is not my fault! You must be of a lesser intellect!" Stunned you look on as the grinning murderer of your loved one writes a check and walks out of the room.

Pretty crazy world to live in where the law is basically meaningless and up to the whims of any judge who wants to "interpret" the meaning away, right? It would make a great episode of The Twilight Zone, right? This is what it is like to see the world through our eyes. The Bible is God's Law. While we may be uncomfortable with it, we cannot simply ignore it or, even worse, try to "interpret it" so as to twist and distort the meaning of the PLAIN words to the point where we get them to mean something that they just don't say. Doing so will lead to a point where we can look at the Bible where Jesus says MULTIPLE TIMES in the New Testament that unsaved sinners will GO TO HELL and say, "Yes, but when taken in context, reading John 3:16 before and after that unpleasant 'Hell' part, we can see that Jesus was telling us that sinners actually DO end up in Heaven, but they will have to do all their shopping at WallMart which is surely Hell-ish, right?"

You know that such behavior is insincere at the best and simply deceitful at the worst. Supposed Christian preachers who try to convince their flock that this is how to read the Bible also know that it is insincere. Everyone does and yet… and yet, you all hold hands, sing kumbaya, and pretend the unpleasant or uncomfortable or even the simply inconvenient parts of the Bible don't exist or somehow don't apply. Who is crazy in this story now?

Now, you have a choice: Accept the word of God...the WHOLE word of God; OR decide that the whole thing is completely made up fairy tales and throw it away. It’s all or nothing. One path leads to enlightenment and joy, the other leads to a life of pain and suffering and torment. I think it is obvious which is which. What will you do?


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

Last edited by Gabriel Reproba; 01-14-2011 at 09:17 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Gabriel Reproba's Avatar
Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Saved 1 Year The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Punched the most queers TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Divorcee Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 02:42 AM

Curious. Atheists and heathens come to our forums. They post hate and fury in threads that discuss Biblical passages they are uncomfortable with. Yet when one of us posts something to specifically and carefully address ALL of their concerns, they run off and hide.

Things that make you go...hmmmm.


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
mcwyffe's Avatar
mcwyffe mcwyffe is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 16
Join Date: Jan 2010
mcwyffe is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 02:47 AM

Wow! very interesting topic. I believe we should follow the whole Bible.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Samuel Coleridge's Avatar
Samuel Coleridge Samuel Coleridge is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Cancer on Society Bleeding heart liebral Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 621
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In the sweet Love of God who is Elohim.
Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 02:57 AM

Fascinating... Have you done as Luke 12:33 says?

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.

Your skeptical friend in Christ,
Sam



Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Gabriel Reproba's Avatar
Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Saved 1 Year The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Punched the most queers TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Divorcee Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
Fascinating... Have you done as Luke 12:33 says?

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.

Your skeptical friend in Christ,
Sam

Yup.


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,714
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:08 AM

Or as God said, Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.

There doesn't seem to be much about "giving it all to the poor", just some of it. As it happens I have warehouses filled with stuff that I
sell dispose of regularly. From the huge profits, I'm sure some of it must make its way to the poor.

However, I am very cautious. It would be quite wrong to give much to the poor; if they became rich, I would feel guilty that, as wealthy people, they would not be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven with ease. (The Lord knows half of them can't get off their ass to get a job.)

Also, did not Our Savior Himself say that the poor would always be with us? If we got rid of them, that would be blasphemous.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Samuel Coleridge's Avatar
Samuel Coleridge Samuel Coleridge is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Cancer on Society Bleeding heart liebral Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 621
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In the sweet Love of God who is Elohim.
Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
Yup.
That's wonderful, friend! We wouldn't want to get shredded to ribbons by our sweet and loving Savior.

Luke 12:45-48
But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. "That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

What wonderful Scriptures that prove our Lord is socialist.

Your friend in Jesus' plan for wealth redistribution,
Sam


Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Gabriel Reproba's Avatar
Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Saved 1 Year The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Punched the most queers TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Divorcee Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
What wonderful Scriptures that prove our Lord is socialist.
How do I request that a Sys Admin check in on Sam to see if he is still alive? I assume the Lord smote him down after he clicked "Submit" on that last post.


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,714
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:18 AM

Lu:19: (12-)24: And he said unto them that stood by, Take from him the pound, and give it to him that hath ten pounds.
Lu:19:25: (And they said unto him, Lord, he hath ten pounds.)
Lu:19:26: For I say unto you, That unto every one which hath shall be given; and from him that hath not, even that he hath shall be taken away from him.
Lu:19:27: But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.
Lu:19:28: And when he had thus spoken, he went before, ascending up to Jerusalem.

See, Sam, the capitalist work ethic pleases Jesus.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
mattieandvinnie mattieandvinnie is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jan 2010
mattieandvinnie is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:22 AM

This is a great question. I, being dedicated to studying the Bible thoroughly, believe that it should be followed completely, but not taken literally, as many things are examples or metaphors for a bigger picture. If you see something that seems to contradict another part, I urge you to read both parts again and really listen to the Lord's word.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Samuel Coleridge's Avatar
Samuel Coleridge Samuel Coleridge is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Cancer on Society Bleeding heart liebral Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 621
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In the sweet Love of God who is Elohim.
Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post


Also, did not Our Savior Himself say that the poor would always be with us?
Indeed He did, Bathfire. He also went on to say that they would only have Him for a short time longer.

I suppose the next time the Alpha and Omega Himself comes to earth, I will gladly give Him the indulgence of perfumed oil for His feet. Until then (to use the popular parlance), cough it up, lest it become more difficult to enter the kingdom of Heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.


Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Samuel Coleridge's Avatar
Samuel Coleridge Samuel Coleridge is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Cancer on Society Bleeding heart liebral Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 621
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In the sweet Love of God who is Elohim.
Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Lu:19: (12-)24: And he said unto them that stood by, Take from him the pound, and give it to him that hath ten pounds.
Lu:19:25: (And they said unto him, Lord, he hath ten pounds.)
Lu:19:26: For I say unto you, That unto every one which hath shall be given; and from him that hath not, even that he hath shall be taken away from him.
Lu:19:27: But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.
Lu:19:28: And when he had thus spoken, he went before, ascending up to Jerusalem.

See, Sam, the capitalist work ethic pleases Jesus.
Bathfire, we both know the Parable of the Talents has to do with reaping good works. Your platinum plated right wing apologist tongue can't deny that.

Of course, it depends upon which Gospel one looks through to figure out how much gold the servants started off with. I suppose Jesus told the story three different times.


Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
That's wonderful, friend! We wouldn't want to get shredded to ribbons by our sweet and loving Savior.

Luke 12:45-48
But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. "That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

What wonderful Scriptures that prove our Lord is socialist.
Jesus was discussing how much you can beat your slaves for misbehaving. Are you saying that beating slaves is socialism?


Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Levi Jones's Avatar
Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
 

True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Gunfest '06 Tithing Manager Saved 1 Year Pastor of GOD One Year/1000 posts Senior Pastor Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers 2010 Witch Hunt Award Pro-Life Outreach preacher Early riser Teabag Patriot Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Public Awareness Medal Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Long service medal, 3rd class True Scientist™ True Christian Hotrodder Touched by Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Hands Off Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Saved 5 Years Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mattieandvinnie View Post
This is a great question. I, being dedicated to studying the Bible thoroughly, believe that it should be followed completely, but not taken literally,
Suppose for a cotton picking minute that was true. Where do you decide what parts are to be followed literally and which are not?

Do you join the papists vision of one "vicar of Christ?"



Quote:
Originally Posted by mattieandvinnie View Post

as many things are examples or metaphors for a bigger picture. If you see something that seems to contradict another part, I urge you to read both parts again and really listen to the Lord's word.
Again, which parts? Sam thinks we no longer have to follow the Old Testament at all. Jesus said we do. Paul says we don't. The Gospels were written after Paul's letters.

What to do? What to do? The only sane or logical thing is to follow the Bible word for word.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Samuel Coleridge's Avatar
Samuel Coleridge Samuel Coleridge is offline
Unsaved trash
 

Cancer on Society Bleeding heart liebral Fluffy bunny Cherry-picker Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 621
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In the sweet Love of God who is Elohim.
Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Samuel Coleridge is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-13-2010, 03:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
Jesus was discussing how much you can beat your slaves for misbehaving. Are you saying that beating slaves is socialism?
When you are only the steward in His house (creation), I believe he has quite the right to do whatever He wants with you.


Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Pastor Rune Enoe's Avatar
Pastor Rune Enoe Pastor Rune Enoe is offline
Apostle of the North
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Tithing Manager Saved 5 Years Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Nerd Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Prune Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 11,863
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: On a mission to bring Christianity to the North
Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Should We Only Follow SOME Of The Bible? - 01-14-2010, 09:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
Fascinating... Have you done as Luke 12:33 says?

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.
How can you even ask! As we speak, the pastors of Landover are preparing a shipment of 1,000 Bibles (KJV1611 Authorized) for the lost souls in Tahiti / Haiti or whatever. Their souls mean everything to us. Imagine what would happen if they died before repenting their sins and accepting Jesus as their personal savior.

Giving all your money to Jesus' favorite church is certainly commendable, but in fact you only need to tithe HALF of what you own, to ensure that you and your loved ones are safe:

Luke 19:8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.
Luke 19:9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel Coleridge View Post
Your skeptical friend in Christ,
Sam
Thanks, but no thanks. I have all the friends I need in Jesus.


Holbein

1st Corinthians 15:16 For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:
1st Corinthians 15:17 And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.
1st Corinthians 15:18 Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved