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Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
- Ecclesiastes xii.7 -
Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
I'm not sure that even makes sense.
What's your point exactly?
Lamentations 3:1I Am the man that hath seene affliction by the rod of his WRATH. Yours in Christ, McUinnean, of that Ilk.
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
It's funny!Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post You remember fun?
Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.
- Ecclesiastes xii.7Comment
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
Originally posted by Dutch Girl View PostIt's funny! You remember fun?
What does fun have to with praising the Lord?
And plus it's not funny.
How can something nobody understands be 'funny'?Lamentations 3:1I Am the man that hath seene affliction by the rod of his WRATH. Yours in Christ, McUinnean, of that Ilk.
THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE: THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE: A description to end myths it is English. - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
THE POINTLESSNESS OF ATHEISM: Att. ATHEISTS: What is the Purpose of your SAD,Sorry lives? - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
MINOR 'DISABILITIES': Is DYSLEXIA a curse from God or is it CURABLE? - The Landover Baptist Church ForumsComment
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
I concur with you, brother. As far as I know, Jesus didn't use laser technology for any of his miracles, but of course He could walk on water on his fingers instead of his feet. That's what "omnipotent" means, if you ask me.Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View PostI'm not sure that even makes sense.
What's your point exactly?
But as for the question this little drugged harlot asks, I definitely think you could describe Jesus as a "superhero," as He was both "super" (omnipotent) and a "hero" (He died for the sins of billions of people. That's rather heroic, isn't it?).Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
Most definately! This is why Jesus is MY SUPERHERO...Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
- He has SAVED more people than Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Wolverineman, and The Hulkman combined.
- He has superhuman powers. Walking on water, raising dead people, curing diseases, flying, and more.
- He appears in comic books
- He has double identity like Clark Kent/Superman or Bruce Wayne/Spiderman....He is both JESUS and GOD.
- He fights crime and evilness.
- He has an archnemesis (Satan).
- He has a superhero symbol. Like Batmans bat logo or Superman's S, he has the CROSS.
JESUS IS THE REAL SUPERHERO AND EVERYBODY NEEDS TO BE SAVED BY HIM.
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
If Jesus wanted to, He could have lasers shooting out of His hands anytime. He's God, so He can do anything. He can fart hand grenades if He wants to. He can have x-ray vision and see right through your clothes at Church! Jesus can make the most delicious beer in the world with no calories. He can make chocolates that burst into flame when you pop them into your mouth. He can make blue striped dogs and chickens that can do math.
And He can and will kill you dead when He sees fit.
How many times do I have to explain this to you people?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
Not that much of a "superhero" when looked at in comparison to others take this example:
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
It's only funny to God-mocking whores like you. However, on the topic of superheroes:Originally posted by Dutch Girl View PostIt's funny! You remember fun?
Why do you suppose we have so many real superheroes these days? It's no coincidence that the majority of those involved in the comic book industry are Jews. They killed the Messiah, the true superhero promised to them. Their Savior! Their subconscious minds are simply acting out, seeking an outlet to acknowledge the evilness of their race's depraved act. In other words, Jesus is not only a superhero, He is the template for them all!
That's right. Jerry Siegel and Stan Lee killed Jesus and, in consequence, the world got Superman and Spiderman (and more). The fact that we are seeing so much more of these superheroes today is simply proof that we are in the End Times.sigpic
Revelations 6:16
"And said to the mountains and rocks,
Fall on us, and hide us from the face
of him that sitteth on the throne,
and from the wrath of the Lamb"Comment
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
How dare you try to equate Jesus Christ (our Lord and Savior) to the likes of a DRUNK (Tony Stark, the [rusted] IRON man), the WHORE (Power-Girl), the RETARDED (Deadpool), and THE BLASPHEMOUS! (Spawn, Batman, Jack Esticado of The Darkness, The Silver Surfer and, Galactus)
If you were to liken MY God to ANY of these "Super Heroes" it would be The Punisher, because when he finds out about your slander, he will shot you in the face with a high-powered rifle IF YOU'RE LUCKY! If you continue spreading your heresy, MY God may smash your face into a mirror, saw off your fingers, ram your face into a table saw, break your shins with a 2X4, toss you off of a building, or just TEAR OUT YOUR LUNGS
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
That comparison makes no sense at all.Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
The universe is only 6000 years old - so how can that robot be 9 million years old?"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32Comment
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
9 million in Cybertronian years.Originally posted by Helge Fossmo View PostThat comparison makes no sense at all.
The universe is only 6000 years old - so how can that robot be 9 million years old?
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
I think Jesus was a superhero.He saved the world from Satan and tried to teach everyone good values like civility.IMO a cartoon series about the bible would be awesome.Comment
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
It would also be blasphemous. The chinks have already tried it.Originally posted by The voice of Reason View Post
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Was Jesus a superhero?
You know, because the the universe is far older than 6000 years old. It's like over 9000 years old.Originally posted by Helge Fossmo View PostThat comparison makes no sense at all.
The universe is only 6000 years old - so how can that robot be 9 million years old?Comment
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