[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

78. Refuses to watch the Olympics but somehow still finds a way to cheer against America.

79. Only became a fan of Justin Bieber after reading Landover Baptist Church's damning expose on how he is a gateway drug to the homos*xual agenda.

80. After aborting her unborn baby, expresses her unused milk for unholy c*cktails with her coven.

[WithGodWeStand]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.
None of my pets are missing.
2. Candles in the bedroom.
Whats wrong with candles? They're very nice looking. Anyways heres a candle gif for you all. Admire it!



3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.
What's wrong with rock and roll, or any other music related to it?
4. Veganism.
Not vegan. I love meat too much!
5. Possession of condoms.
It means you're using protection!
6. Bite marks on your baby.
Don't have children.
7. Is a Godless gothic.
NO. Just no.
8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.
No
9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.
Oh wow
10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.
Yes, I wear them.
11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).
No, I do not.
12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).
Not at all.
13. Has a cat.
And I love her with all my heart!
14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.
I'm bi.
15. Votes DemocRAT.
Don't vote
16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.
Nope
17. Is a feminazi.
Not really. Though I do support women's rights
18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.
That's sick. You guys need professional help.
19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."
No no no no no.
20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.
I actually do like some of her music
21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.
No
22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
Ew, Twilight.
23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.
I love ice cream!!
24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.
No one takes me to church, and even if I did I wouldn't be screaming.
25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.
Yes yes yes!!!
26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".
I don't go trick or treating.
27. Has read Harry Potter.
Only books 1-3. I have yet to read the others. I have seen the movies
28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.
No
29. Has had an abortion.
Okay, I've never had an abortion and I support. Why? Because a teenager girl, say about 14 or younger, is not going to want to take care of a baby. They're going to want to do other things instead. A rape victim, do you honestly think that they're going to want to take care of child after a traumatizing experience like that? They'll be having other things to worry about. And what if a mother is at risk of dying or the baby is going to have birth defects?
30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.
Don't know what that is....
31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.
No
32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.
Yes, I do sometimes
33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.
No
34. Supports the construction of the Ground Zero mosque.
I don't care.
35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.
Not a virgin and not married, but in a relationship <3
36. Drives a Prius.
I don't drive.
37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".
I do go out in the sun. Only when its not too damn bright and hot out.
38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.
I don't care about that
39. Fornicates with Satan.
Nope
40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.
No
41. Will float when dunked in water.
No

Why do you even try to explain yourself its like you are trying to prove to us that you love Satan. We know this already. If you support the ground zero mosque you are clearly the enemy how do you not understand this. How about you take a look at your life and repent for your sins. You are trying to prove a point to people who just do not care about what you have to say. Wasting our time to enjoy the life god gave us.

[TheWretch]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.
Nope.

2. Candles in the bedroom.
I love candles. They make my room smell good.

3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.
Not really. Do like the song 'Loathing' though.

4. Veganism.
Can't give up that bacon.

5. Possession of condoms.
Virgin.

6. Bite marks on your baby.
Don't have one. I'm an only child.

7. Is a Godless gothic.
I don't really like labels.

8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.
From blowing out the candles?

9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.
Never watched it.

10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.
So? Even my Christian friends wear them.

11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).
Nope.

12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).
Catholic believe in some of the same things you do.

13. Has a cat.
I love my cats. Their names are Jethro and Tony. Both boys. Great mouse hunters, too.

14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.
I'm pansexual.

15. Votes DemocRAT.
You mean DemoCRAP. I'm independent.

16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.
I'm in a Bible school.

17. Is a feminazi.
I do believe in women's rights.

18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.
Don't have one. And I go to chapel even on my period.

19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."
Ew. Pedo much?

20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.
I LOVE Cher!!!

21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.
Only because I'm really clumsy and get hurt a lot.

22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
*vomits because of Twilight*

23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.
What's gelato? And I'm trying to lose weight so I eat yogurt.

24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.
No. I like church.

25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.
I like Halloween. I went as a Wild One/Rebel from Legion Of the Black.

26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".
What's Chick tracts?

27. Has read Harry Potter.
Not yet. Maybe this summer.

28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.
Never watched it.

29. Has had an abortion.
No. And I won't unless I get raped. And even then I'll probably have the baby, but during birth I'll probably get an dose of pain-killers. But my body is very hippy so I could carry the kid. But I will NOT marry the rapist.

30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.
The Mediterranean port?

31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.
No. My dad was in the Navy. Not happening.

32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.
Yeah... Guilty.

33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.
No I pray sometimes.

34. Supports the construction of the Ground Zero mosque.
I do.

35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.
Not married but I am a virgin.

36. Drives a Prius.
Fourteen. Can't legally drive.

37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".
I just don't wanna get sunburned. Plus there are bees out there. No way!

38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.
I'm independent remember. I don't like Obama.

39. Fornicates with Satan.
Nope.

40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.
That's bestiality.

41. Will float when dunked in water.
If left alone in still water, I can float.

42: Worships Broccoli or other plant-based idols.
I HATE broccoli.

43. Deciding what to believe on the basis of what feels good, despite what history and even basic common sense have to say.
I go with my heart.

44. Lives in sin without being married in the eyes of God, and sees nothing wrong with that.
Don't judge cause I sin differently.

45. Watches Happy Days reruns and describes the time period as "ancient".
Never seen it.

46. Pretends to have magic powers, can't keep a boyfriend because she is fat.
Actually biked 2 miles today and ran 1. And I weigh just fine. I CHOOSE not to have a boyfriend. I've turned down people.

47. Will toss severed cat heads into churches or the funerals of service men and women.
I thought women shouldn't be in the military? BTW I love cats.

48. smells strongly of fish due to bad hygiene
I smell like my strawberry shampoo/body wash.

49. Has a vast, gaping maw of foulness and acrimony where an anus would normally be.
Nope just an anus.

50. Sees no problem with fornicating with beasts.
*more vomiting*

51. Dances.
I do dance. Ballet, interpretive, and whatever I feel like doing.

52. Wears artificial Satan ears and makes devil signs, keeps saying everything is "illogical".
Some things are illogical, though.

53. Spends more than five minutes in the shower, likely to wash away all evidence of blood and entrails, as well as attempting to wash away subconscious shame of turning against Jesus.
Well, our water heater is old and needs to be replaced, so it takes five minutes JUST for it to heat to a proper temperature. And sometimes I go to the gym so I spend a little more time trying to clean up.

54. M*sturbates.
Nope.

55. enjoys rough s*x
I'm a virgin

56. injects weeds (junkie)
Don't you smoke weed? Or 'take pot'?

57. enjoys long visits to the graveyard ( where they dig up freshly dug children for there s*x rituals)
My grandfather's buried there. I go visit sometimes. Like I said virgin. Pedo much?

58: Always uses the salutation 'blessed be.'
What's wrong with it?

59. Intentionally misspells "magic," e.g., "magick" or "madzhyq"
Not a witch. And: magic.

60. Claims to be able to use "magick" but always has an excuse prepared when asked to demonstrate the ability to do so
'NOT A WITCH!' Do you understand?

61: secretly wants to kill themselves to attract attention for their own sexual gratification.
That's creepy.

62. They are prompted by Satan to go to True Christian™ forums and constantly disrupt fellowship and threads of important and vital information.
I don't hear Satan.

63. Watches Disney television.
I love Disney.

64: Has one or more tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 means as much to a Wicca as any other part of God's Word.
I may get one.

65. Plays the satanic minecraft!
I don't like Minecraft.

66. Has pagan friends!
So what?
67. Fornicates to porn!
Nope.
68. Reads Percy Jackson (even worse than Harry Potter)
Never read it.

69. Watches Doctor Who (Satan's television)
Meh.

70. Refuses to read God's Holy Words, the Bible.
I read the Bible.

71. Won't pay attention during class.
Sometimes if I'm a little tired or if I already know the topic well.

72. Listen's to rap music (the nerve!)
*keeps vomiting*

73. Tortures flies.
How? Bye swatting them?

74. Backtalks to their elders!
Only when they're wrong.

75. Supports Obama!
... Independent.

76. Diets instead of eating wholesome American food.
I want to lose weight. What's wrong with that?

77. Has random bloodstains in their room (unless they are female, for that could be something else entirely...)
I'm female.

78. Treats foreigners as equals.
They are.

79. Your child pays off their credit cards every month.
I don't have a credit card.

80. Has salt sprinkled along the windowsill.
Why?

81. Always keeps a broom right next to the door.
Yeah so I can do a quick tidy-up on my room.

82. Wears bloody diapers.
My pads feel like diapers.

83. Uses reusable tampons and cloth menstrual pads when out in public. Sits under a tree and lets the moss absorb the womanly fluids when at home.
Ewww!

84. Watches Oprah.
No.

85. Has taken a job away from a man.
Can't work yet. Key word: yet.

86. Injects embryonic stem cells into their nether regions.
What?

87. Indulges in mindless feminazi tantrums when confronted with God's own truth©.
I believe in equality, so what?

88. Consistently experiences disappointment after publicly performing cunnilingus on menstruating lesbians to make herself more attractive to men.
Nope.

89. Forages through Christian garbage cans for hair and nail clippings to use them in their evil spells.
I don't Dumpster Dive.

90. combs their hair with fish bones
Nope.

91. uses an inordinate amount of talcum powder
Nope.

92. Makes wine out of the blood of Christian babies.
*gasp* Why?!

93. Washes in urine exclusively.
*vomits more*

94. Refuses to watch the Olympics but somehow still finds a way to cheer against America.
I don't care about it.

95. Only became a fan of Justin Bieber after reading Landover Baptist Church's damning expose on how he is a gateway drug to the homos*xual agenda.
He sucks.

96. After aborting her unborn baby, expresses her unused milk for unholy c*cktails with her coven.
Nope.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.
Nope.
2. Candles in the bedroom.
I love candles. They make my room smell good.
3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.
Not really. Do like the song 'Loathing' though
4. Veganism.
Can't give up that bacon.
5. Possession of condoms.
Virgin.
6. Bite marks on your baby.
Don't have one. I'm an only child.
7. Is a Godless gothic.
I don't really like labels.
8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.
From blowing out the candles?
9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.Never watched it.
10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.So? Even my Christian friends wear them.
11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).
Nope.12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).Catholic believe in some of the same things you do.13. Has a cat.I love my cats. Their names are Jethro and Tony. Both boys. Great mouse hunters, too.14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.I'm pansexual15. Votes DemocRAT.
You mean DemoCRAP. I'm independent.16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.I'm in a Bible school.7. Is a feminazi.I do believe in women's rights.18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.Don't have one. And I go to chapel even on my period.19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."Ew. Pedo much?
20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.I LOVE Cher!!!21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.Only because I'm really clumsy and get hurt a lot.22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".*vomits because of Twilight*23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.What's gelato? And I'm trying to lose weight so I eat yogurt.24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.No. I like church.25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.I like Halloween. I went as a Wild One/Rebel from Legion Of the Black.26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".What's Chick tracts? 27. Has read Harry Potter.Not yet. Maybe this summer.28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.Never watched it.29. Has had an abortion.No. And I won't unless I get raped. And even then I'll probably have the baby, but during birth I'll probably get an dose of pain-killers. But my body is very hippy so I could carry the kid. But I will NOT marry the rapist. 30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.The Mediterranean port? 31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.No. My dad was in the Navy. Not happening.
32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.Yeah... Guilty.33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.
No I pray sometimes.34. Supportshe construction of the Ground Zero mosque.I do.35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.Not married but I am a virgin. 36. Drives a Prius.Fourteen. Can't legally drive.37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".I just don't wanna get sunburned. Plus there are bees out there. No way!38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.I'm independent remember. I don't like Obama.39. Fornicates with Satan.Nope.40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.That's bestiality.41. Will float when dunked in water.If left alone in still water, I can float.42: Worships Broccoli or other plant-based idols.I HATE broccoli.43. Deciding what to believe on the basis of what feels good, despite what history and even basic common sense have to say. I go with my heart.44. Lives in sin without being married in the eyes of God, and sees nothing wrong with that. Don't judge cause I sin differently.45. Watches Happy Days reruns and describes the time period as "ancient".Never seen it.46. Pretends to have magic powers, can't keep a boyfriend because she is fat.Actually biked 2 miles today and ran 1. And I weigh just fine. I CHOOSE not to have a boyfriend. I've turned down people.47. Will toss severed cat heads into churches or the funerals of service men and women.I thought women shouldn't be in the military? BTW I love cats.48. smells strongly of fish due to bad hygiene
I smell like my strawberry shampoo/body wash.49. Has a vast, gaping maw of foulness and acrimony where an anus would normally be.Nope just an anus.50. Sees no problem with fornicating with beasts. *more vomiting*51. Dances.
I do dance. Ballet, interpretive, and whatever I feel like doing.52. Wears artificial Satan ears and makes devil signs, keeps saying everything is "illogical".Some things are illogical, though.53. Spends more than five minutes in the shower, likely to wash away all evidence of blood and entrails, as well as attempting to wash away subconscious shame of turning against Jesus.Well, our water heater is old and needs to be replaced, so it takes five minutes JUST for it to heat to a proper temperature. And sometimes I go to the gym so I spend a little more time trying to clean up.54. M*sturbates.
Nope.55. enjoys rough s*xI'm a virgin56. injects weeds (junkie)Don't you smoke weed? Or 'take pot'?57. enjoys long visits to the graveyard ( where they dig up freshly ug children for there s*x rituals)My grandfather's buried there. I go visit ometimes. Like I said virgin. Pedo much?58: Always uses the salutation 'blessed be.'What's wrong with it?59. Intentionally misspells "magic," e.g., "magick" or "madzhyq"Not a witch. And: magic.60. Claims to be able to use "magick" but always has an excuse prepared when asked to demonstrate the ability to do so'NOT A WITCH!' Do you understand?61: secretly wants to kill themselves to attract attention for their own sexual gratification.That's creepy.62. They are prompted by Satan to go to True Christian™ forums and constantly disrupt fellowship and threads of important and vital information.
I don't hear Satan.63. Watches Disney television.I love Disney.64: Has one or more tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 means as much to a Wicca as any other part of God's Word.I may get one.65. Plays the satanic minecraft!I don't like Minecraft.66. Has pagan friends!So what?67. Fornicates to porn!Nope.68. Reads Percy Jackson (even worse than Harry Potter)Nver read it.69. Watches Doctor Who (Satan's television)Meh.70. Refuses to read God's Holy Words, the Bible.I read the ble.71.Won't ay attention during class.Sometimes if I'm a little tired or if I already know the topic well.72. Listen's to rap music theve!)
*keeps vomiting*73. Tortures flies.How? Bye swatting them?74. Backtalks to their elders!Only when they're wrong.75. upports Obama!... Independent.76. Diets instead of eating wholesome American food.I want to lose weight. What's wong with that?77. Has random bloodstains in their room (unless they are female, for that could be something else entirel...)
I'm female.78. Treats foreigners as equals.They are.79. Your child pays off their credit cards every month.I don't have a credit card. 80. Has salt sprinkled along the windowsill.Why?81. Always keeps a broom right next to the door.Yeah so I can do a quick tidy-up on my room.82. Wears bloody diapers.My pads feel like diapers.83. Uses reusable tampons and cloth menstrual pads when out in public. Sits under a tree and lets the moss absorb the womanly fluids when at hoe.
Ewww! 84. Watches Oprah.No.85. Has taken a job away from a man.Can't work yet. Key word: yet.86. Injects embryonic stem cells into their nether regions.What?87. Indulges in mindless feminazi tantrums when confronted with God's own truth©.I believe in equality, so what?88. Consistently experiences disappointment after publicly performing cunilingus on menstruating lesbians to make herself more attractive to men.Nope.89. Forages through Christian garbage cans for hair and nail clippings to use them in their evil spells.I don't Dumpster Dive.90. combs their hair with fish bonesNope.91.uses an inordinate amount of talcum powderNope.92. Makes wine out of the blood of Christian babies.*gasp* Why?!93. Washes inurinexclusively.*vomitsore*94. Refuses to watch the Olympics but somehow still finds a way to cheer againstmerica.I don't care about it.95. Only became a fan of Justin Bieber after readingandoverBaptist Church's damning expose on how he is a gateway drug to the homos*xual agenda.He sucks.96. After aborting her unborn baby, expresses her unused milk for unholy c*cktails with her coven.Nope.

Brimstone candles? Do they even exist outside occult shops?

[No. -ed.]

Dumpster diving. I never knew it had a name. No wonder you need those candles.

Really, stop hanging around catholics. They're mentioned several times in the yellow section together with numerous activities associated with Romish heretics such as you go to "church" with people wearing gaudy gems and probably braided hair. God is very clear on this subject. Heads to be hung in shame (whether you've "done anything" or not), submission to one's superiors (courtesy Eve) but check out the preening parade after mass. No shame. Bling central.

1 Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
KJV .. more here

[Didymus Much]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

...No...

Will there be anything else?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

Will there be anything else?

I thought one or two points warranted a response. Do you broid your hair or wear blingfest? Wicca-curious children might see no reason not to. Now they have relevant Scripture.

After all, we know that there is no difference between a witch an atheist and a emogothmetalhead. God commands the same punishment for all (except Christians).

[VixenRose]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.
I have never had a pet go missing, I'm happy to say!

2. Candles in the bedroom.
My dorm doesn't allow candles, but I do have a lovely alter! I use crystals for the symbolism instead.

3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.
I love Wiked! It was a beautiful show, the costumes were amazing for sure!

4. Veganism.
Oh no, I enjoy bacon and cheese too much!

5. Possession of condoms.
I hate condoms!

6. Bite marks on your baby.
I would never harm a little one! They all deserve love and gentleness, and that is what I give them. Sadly no, I have not yet been blessed with one of my own.

7. Is a Godless gothic.
Oh goddess, no. I could never be so dreary!

8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.
Why would something smell of brimstone anyway?

9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.
I was never a fan of the Wizard of Oz, and always preferred Glenda over Elphaba.

10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.
I do have a few scarves that my grandmother knitted me, and I have a necklace or two from my Master, along with my Collar.

11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).
Oh, no, I certainly prefer Pentacles.

12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).
I've never met a Catholic priest, honestly.

13. Has a cat.
No, I much prefer miniature pigs! They make much better pets.

14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.
Oh no, I love my Master and would never enjoy a woman.

15. Votes DemocRAT.
I'm more of a third party type of voter, personally.

16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.
No, hun. I actually worked at a church for quite a long while.

17. Is a feminazi.
I demise the entire feminist movement! Women should be subservient, loyal wives! Our hobbies should include cooking, cleaning, sewing... Those kinds of things.

18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.
I even go swimming.

19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."
The only thing that can make me drool is my Master.

20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.
No, not really. If ever, honestly.

21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.
I've never had that happen.

22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
I despise Twilight.

23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.
Ice Cream is the best thing ever. Hands down.

24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.
I have a back problem, so no, I can't sit still for long... My spine has a slipped disk and thus I get very uncomfortable, no matter the situation.

25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.
I enjoy sewing one each year, certainly.

26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".
What in the name of Aphrodite is a "Chick Tract"?

27. Has read Harry Potter.
I enjoyed them very much, in fact.

28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.
Never seen it.

29. Has had an abortion.
I would never! I despise the idea... It's cruel and terrible... If one's child just simply couldn't be raised by them due to circumstances beyond their control, adoption is always the better option.

30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.
I don't know anything regarding this topic, honestly.

31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.
I would never do such a thing! Service men and women are brave, strong individuals fighting for their beliefs and their beloved country.

32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.
I can't ever sleep past ten, and normally I'm up around eight.

33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.
That would just be rude.

34. Supports the construction of the Ground Zero mosque.
I do not.

35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.
I have a fiance, who is my Master. My body is his, as I am promised to him and him alone.

36. Drives a Prius.
I do not drive.

37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".
I enjoy the warm glow of sunlight on my skin!

38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.
I do love free healthcare, but obamacare is indeed a ridiculous take.

39. Fornicates with Satan.
Only with my Master.

40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.
Once again, the only being in me will be my Master. And his child, one day.

41. Will float when dunked in water.
Is this Monty Python?

42: Worships Broccoli or other plant-based idols
Do you mean Nature? If so, yes.

43. Deciding what to believe on the basis of what feels good, despite what history and even basic common sense have to say
History says that Nature-based religions existed long before Christianity.

44. Lives in sin without being married in the eyes of God, and sees nothing wrong with that
I love my Master and would gladly live with him if circumstances allowed.

45. Watches Happy Days reruns and describes the time period as "ancient"
No, not a fan.

46. Pretends to have magic powers, can't keep a boyfriend because she is fat.
Most of us do spells, yes. I personally am rather adept at Tarot. I have a fiance.

47. Will toss severed cat heads into churches or the funerals of service men and women
You are ridiculously silly, aren't you?

48. smells strongly of fish due to bad hygiene
I shower twice a day, at least.

49. Has a vast, gaping maw of foulness and acrimony where an anus would
normally be
Hey, just because I just got a fantastic pounding, that's not a very polite thing to say!

50. Sees no problem with fornicating with beasts
I do fantasize about it. Dogs especially.

51. Dances.
I'm too good at dancing... Maybe a slow dance with Master, if he so allow it. I do enjoy a good Rave every now and again!

52. Wears artificial Satan ears and makes devil signs, keeps saying everything is "illogical".
Do you mean Devil horns? I have a pair that lights up and changes colors for Raves! I accept what I can accept. Logic is basic knowledge.

53. Spends more than five minutes in the shower, likely to wash away all evidence of blood and entrails, as well as attempting to wash away subconscious shame of turning against Jesus.
I get my best ideas in the shower! So I tend to brainstorm for quite a bit.

54. M*sturbates.
When Master gives me permission, yes.

55. enjoys rough s*x
Oh yes! BDSM is my life! I am a proud Pet.

56. injects weeds (junkie)
I really dislike any kind of drug on principle... Therefore I have never even tried any.

57. enjoys long visits to the graveyard ( where they dig up freshly dug children for there s*x rituals)
I find that that sort of place bothers me deeply...

58: Always uses the salutation 'blessed be.'
Indeed! And goddess bless, friend!

59. Intentionally misspells "magic," e.g., "magick" or "madzhyq"
That is the older spelling, yes. Traditionalists do enjoy using it, and I do as well.

60. Claims to be able to use "magick" but always has an excuse prepared when asked to demonstrate the ability to do so
You obviously don't know how our Magick works, then. It is all about focusing energy towards your end goal, and most believe in the Threefold Law, which states that what one sends out, one shall receive back threefold. Also, negative energy should never be sent, as it is said to not work at all, and just immediately return back to you. I personally like casting spells of protection, giving charms for headache relief, that sort of thing.

61: secretly wants to kill themselves to attract attention for their own sexual gratification.
I did struggle with depression, bu my finding Wicca actually helped me to climb out of it.

62. They are prompted by Satan to go to True Christian™ forums and constantly disrupt fellowship and threads of important and vital information
You people are just so comical in your bigotry and ignorance.

63. Watches Disney television.
Classics, yes, and Gravity Falls now. I am a Disney fan, no denying that.

64: Has one or more tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 means as much to a Wicca as any other part of God's Word
I plan on getting one in the not too distant future! Something marking me as Master's property.

65. Plays the satanic minecraft!
No, I haven't gotten to.

66. Has pagan friends!
I do.

67. Fornicates to porn!
If you mean Masturbate, then yes I do.

68. Reads Percy Jackson (even worse than Harry Potter)
I had to read the first one for school.

69. Watches Doctor Who (Satan's television)
I do love that show!

70. Refuses to read God's Holy Words, the Bible.
An interesting compilation from multiple very different writers that includes some good allegories and metaphorical stories is always a decent piece of mythology! I enjoyed the stories therein, and the lessons and morals they taught. A lovely piece of literature.

71. Won't pay attention during class.
I have pretty good grades. A's and B's

72. Listen's to rap music (the nerve!)
I hate rap.

73. Tortures flies.
Never!

74. Backtalks to their elders!
I prefer to have civil discussions and debates.

75. Supports Obama!
Not at all.

76. Diets instead of eating wholesome American food.
Never.

77. Has random bloodstains in their room (unless they are female, for that could be something else entirely...)
Nope.

78. Treats foreigners as equals.
I believe that humans are humans, no matter what ethnicity or background.

79. Your' child pays off their credit cards every month
I do not have a credit card.

62. Has salt sprinkled along the windowsill.
I don't do that. I prefer to use a crystal infused with a protection charm myself.

63. Always keeps a broom right next to the door
To sweep away evil from the entrance of my domicile.

64. Wears bloody diapers
Do you mean pads...?

65. Uses reusable tampons and cloth menstrual pads when out in public. Sits under a tree and lets the moss absorb the womanly fluids when at home
Freebleeding is absolutely DISGUSTING.

66. Watches Oprah
She is annoying.

69. Has taken a job away from a man.
I would never! Men come first.

70. Injects embryonic stem cells into their nether regions.
I don't know what you mean.

71. Indulges in mindless feminazi tantrums when confronted with God's own truth
I despise feminazis, and I will do my best to avoid tantrums! I try to be peaceful when dispelling ignorance.

72. Consistently experiences disappointment after publicly performing cunnilingus on menstruating lesbians to make herself more attractive to men
I would never even touch another woman.

73. Forages through Christian garbage cans for hair and nail clippings to use them in their evil spells
I might ask for hair from someone if a spell required it, but I would never use fingernails or anything like that, and especially not if acquired without the goodwill of the owner.

74. combs their hair with fish bones
That's gross, and just not practical.

75. uses an inordinate amount of talcum powder
I don't use it at all.

76. Makes wine out of the blood of Christian babies.
I hate wine, actually.

77. Washes in urine exclusively
That is gross.

78. Refuses to watch the Olympics but somehow still finds a way to cheer against America.
I am always proud when we medal.

79. Only became a fan of Justin Bieber after reading Landover Baptist Church's damning expose on how he is a gateway drug to the homos*xual agenda.
I hate him.

80. After aborting her unborn baby, expresses her unused milk for unholy c*cktails with her coven
I could never even imagine something so vile! You people are twisted and sick to have fabricated such a despicable act...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

[Des]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.
I have never had a pet go missing, I'm happy to say!

2. Candles in the bedroom.
My dorm doesn't allow candles, but I do have a lovely alter! I use crystals for the symbolism instead.

3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.
I love Wiked! It was a beautiful show, the costumes were amazing for sure!

4. Veganism.
Oh no, I enjoy bacon and cheese too much!

5. Possession of condoms.
I hate condoms!

6. Bite marks on your baby.
I would never harm a little one! They all deserve love and gentleness, and that is what I give them. Sadly no, I have not yet been blessed with one of my own.

7. Is a Godless gothic.
Oh goddess, no. I could never be so dreary!

8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.
Why would something smell of brimstone anyway?

9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.
I was never a fan of the Wizard of Oz, and always preferred Glenda over Elphaba.

10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.
I do have a few scarves that my grandmother knitted me, and I have a necklace or two from my Master, along with my Collar.

11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).
Oh, no, I certainly prefer Pentacles.

12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).
I've never met a Catholic priest, honestly.

13. Has a cat.
No, I much prefer miniature pigs! They make much better pets.

14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.
Oh no, I love my Master and would never enjoy a woman.

15. Votes DemocRAT.
I'm more of a third party type of voter, personally.

16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.
No, hun. I actually worked at a church for quite a long while.

17. Is a feminazi.
I demise the entire feminist movement! Women should be subservient, loyal wives! Our hobbies should include cooking, cleaning, sewing... Those kinds of things.

18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.
I even go swimming.

19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."
The only thing that can make me drool is my Master.

20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.
No, not really. If ever, honestly.

21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.
I've never had that happen.

22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
I despise Twilight.

23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.
Ice Cream is the best thing ever. Hands down.

24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.
I have a back problem, so no, I can't sit still for long... My spine has a slipped disk and thus I get very uncomfortable, no matter the situation.

25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.
I enjoy sewing one each year, certainly.

26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".
What in the name of Aphrodite is a "Chick Tract"?

27. Has read Harry Potter.
I enjoyed them very much, in fact.

28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.
Never seen it.

29. Has had an abortion.
I would never! I despise the idea... It's cruel and terrible... If one's child just simply couldn't be raised by them due to circumstances beyond their control, adoption is always the better option.

30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.
I don't know anything regarding this topic, honestly.

31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.
I would never do such a thing! Service men and women are brave, strong individuals fighting for their beliefs and their beloved country.

32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.
I can't ever sleep past ten, and normally I'm up around eight.

33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.
That would just be rude.

34. Supports the construction of the Ground Zero mosque.
I do not.

35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.
I have a fiance, who is my Master. My body is his, as I am promised to him and him alone.

36. Drives a Prius.
I do not drive.

37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".
I enjoy the warm glow of sunlight on my skin!

38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.
I do love free healthcare, but obamacare is indeed a ridiculous take.

39. Fornicates with Satan.
Only with my Master.

40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.
Once again, the only being in me will be my Master. And his child, one day.

41. Will float when dunked in water.
Is this Monty Python?

42: Worships Broccoli or other plant-based idols
Do you mean Nature? If so, yes.

43. Deciding what to believe on the basis of what feels good, despite what history and even basic common sense have to say
History says that Nature-based religions existed long before Christianity.

44. Lives in sin without being married in the eyes of God, and sees nothing wrong with that
I love my Master and would gladly live with him if circumstances allowed.

45. Watches Happy Days reruns and describes the time period as "ancient"
No, not a fan.

46. Pretends to have magic powers, can't keep a boyfriend because she is fat.
Most of us do spells, yes. I personally am rather adept at Tarot. I have a fiance.

47. Will toss severed cat heads into churches or the funerals of service men and women
You are ridiculously silly, aren't you?

48. smells strongly of fish due to bad hygiene
I shower twice a day, at least.

49. Has a vast, gaping maw of foulness and acrimony where an anus would
normally be
Hey, just because I just got a fantastic pounding, that's not a very polite thing to say!

50. Sees no problem with fornicating with beasts
I do fantasize about it. Dogs especially.

51. Dances.
I'm too good at dancing... Maybe a slow dance with Master, if he so allow it. I do enjoy a good Rave every now and again!

52. Wears artificial Satan ears and makes devil signs, keeps saying everything is "illogical".
Do you mean Devil horns? I have a pair that lights up and changes colors for Raves! I accept what I can accept. Logic is basic knowledge.

53. Spends more than five minutes in the shower, likely to wash away all evidence of blood and entrails, as well as attempting to wash away subconscious shame of turning against Jesus.
I get my best ideas in the shower! So I tend to brainstorm for quite a bit.

54. M*sturbates.
When Master gives me permission, yes.

55. enjoys rough s*x
Oh yes! BDSM is my life! I am a proud Pet.

56. injects weeds (junkie)
I really dislike any kind of drug on principle... Therefore I have never even tried any.

57. enjoys long visits to the graveyard ( where they dig up freshly dug children for there s*x rituals)
I find that that sort of place bothers me deeply...

58: Always uses the salutation 'blessed be.'
Indeed! And goddess bless, friend!

59. Intentionally misspells "magic," e.g., "magick" or "madzhyq"
That is the older spelling, yes. Traditionalists do enjoy using it, and I do as well.

60. Claims to be able to use "magick" but always has an excuse prepared when asked to demonstrate the ability to do so
You obviously don't know how our Magick works, then. It is all about focusing energy towards your end goal, and most believe in the Threefold Law, which states that what one sends out, one shall receive back threefold. Also, negative energy should never be sent, as it is said to not work at all, and just immediately return back to you. I personally like casting spells of protection, giving charms for headache relief, that sort of thing.

61: secretly wants to kill themselves to attract attention for their own sexual gratification.
I did struggle with depression, bu my finding Wicca actually helped me to climb out of it.

62. They are prompted by Satan to go to True Christian™ forums and constantly disrupt fellowship and threads of important and vital information
You people are just so comical in your bigotry and ignorance.

63. Watches Disney television.
Classics, yes, and Gravity Falls now. I am a Disney fan, no denying that.

64: Has one or more tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 means as much to a Wicca as any other part of God's Word
I plan on getting one in the not too distant future! Something marking me as Master's property.

65. Plays the satanic minecraft!
No, I haven't gotten to.

66. Has pagan friends!
I do.

67. Fornicates to porn!
If you mean Masturbate, then yes I do.

68. Reads Percy Jackson (even worse than Harry Potter)
I had to read the first one for school.

69. Watches Doctor Who (Satan's television)
I do love that show!

70. Refuses to read God's Holy Words, the Bible.
An interesting compilation from multiple very different writers that includes some good allegories and metaphorical stories is always a decent piece of mythology! I enjoyed the stories therein, and the lessons and morals they taught. A lovely piece of literature.

71. Won't pay attention during class.
I have pretty good grades. A's and B's

72. Listen's to rap music (the nerve!)
I hate rap.

73. Tortures flies.
Never!

74. Backtalks to their elders!
I prefer to have civil discussions and debates.

75. Supports Obama!
Not at all.

76. Diets instead of eating wholesome American food.
Never.

77. Has random bloodstains in their room (unless they are female, for that could be something else entirely...)
Nope.

78. Treats foreigners as equals.
I believe that humans are humans, no matter what ethnicity or background.

79. Your' child pays off their credit cards every month
I do not have a credit card.

62. Has salt sprinkled along the windowsill.
I don't do that. I prefer to use a crystal infused with a protection charm myself.

63. Always keeps a broom right next to the door
To sweep away evil from the entrance of my domicile.

64. Wears bloody diapers
Do you mean pads...?

65. Uses reusable tampons and cloth menstrual pads when out in public. Sits under a tree and lets the moss absorb the womanly fluids when at home
Freebleeding is absolutely DISGUSTING.

66. Watches Oprah
She is annoying.

69. Has taken a job away from a man.
I would never! Men come first.

70. Injects embryonic stem cells into their nether regions.
I don't know what you mean.

71. Indulges in mindless feminazi tantrums when confronted with God's own truth
I despise feminazis, and I will do my best to avoid tantrums! I try to be peaceful when dispelling ignorance.

72. Consistently experiences disappointment after publicly performing cunnilingus on menstruating lesbians to make herself more attractive to men
I would never even touch another woman.

73. Forages through Christian garbage cans for hair and nail clippings to use them in their evil spells
I might ask for hair from someone if a spell required it, but I would never use fingernails or anything like that, and especially not if acquired without the goodwill of the owner.

74. combs their hair with fish bones
That's gross, and just not practical.

75. uses an inordinate amount of talcum powder
I don't use it at all.

76. Makes wine out of the blood of Christian babies.
I hate wine, actually.

77. Washes in urine exclusively
That is gross.

78. Refuses to watch the Olympics but somehow still finds a way to cheer against America.
I am always proud when we medal.

79. Only became a fan of Justin Bieber after reading Landover Baptist Church's damning expose on how he is a gateway drug to the homos*xual agenda.
I hate him.

80. After aborting her unborn baby, expresses her unused milk for unholy c*cktails with her coven
I could never even imagine something so vile! You people are twisted and sick to have fabricated such a despicable act...

Your name isn't Shotzi by any chance, is it?

[VixenRose]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

Your name isn't Shotzi by any chance, is it?

I can't say that I've heard that name before, sorry.

Also, sorry about skipping the introduction! I made an account to discuss things in this sort of thread, so I hadn't seen anything else. I didn't know about the rule, so that's my bad! I apologize again, and have made one now.

[Callisto]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

17. Is a feminazi.
I demise the entire feminist movement! Women should be subservient, loyal wives! Our hobbies should include cooking, cleaning, sewing... Those kinds of things.

You know what? Fuuuuck you. If you enjoy the BDSM lifestyle, good for you, but don't expect every other woman in the world to be happy with that subservient bullshit. Screw you for wanting my life to be miserable.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

You know what? Fuuuuck you. If you enjoy the BDSM lifestyle, good for you, but don't expect every other woman in the world to be happy with that subservient bullshit. Screw you for wanting my life to be miserable.

That's so typical. A Wickedan finally says something that halfway makes sense, and you scream obscenities.

[Des]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

That's so typical. A Wickedan finally says something that halfway makes sense, and you scream obscenities.

This is what happens when you let them out of the kitchen. Give them an inch, they'll take your testicles.

[IrishFaeFolk]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice.
I love animals and would never harm one--it's against my code. They are part of the earth and deserve respect, like all living things.

2. Candles in the bedroom.
Used for spells or not, candles are relaxing, smell lovely, and are peaceful forms of energy.

3. Is a fan of the rock and roll "musical" Wicked.
What does a musical have to do with anything? Sure it has nice music and a script, but it's based off a harmless, fictional story.

4. Veganism.
I'm personally not a vegan simply because I'm the type to enjoy the deli isle, but I respect people who are.

5. Possession of condoms.
I'm a virgin, but condoms are usually a good thing...for adults.

6. Bite marks on your baby.
Babies are innocent angels and anyone who mistreats one will receive the same treatment from me, times ten. I do not have children and do not plan on having any in the future, but I spoil the children of my family quite enthusiastically. <3

7. Is a Godless gothic.
Just because you wear black doesn't mean you're goth, or that you're Godless. Black can be a very nice, stylish color for the right time of day. I'm not got myself, as I prefer to wear calm, neutral colors of greens and whites and browns, but I respect people who make that choice.

8. A hint of brimstone in the air that Febreze just can't cover.
Febreeze is unhealthy for one thing, I use only natural perfumes. And I'm not really sure what brimstone is, so I can't use it.

9. Repeated viewings of the Wizard Of Oz where they boo Dorothy for killing the Wicked Witch.
The witch in the movie was the villain, so of course I rooted for Dorothy. That doesn't mean I didn't find the character of the witch entertaining. The witch of Oz is such a far stretch from what real witches are like that it's comical.

10. Wearing brightly colored scarves and cheap jangly jewelry.
I like scarves, they keep me warm and they look nice. I'm also a singer, so they protect my throat. But as I stated before I wear neutral, light colors, but that's just personal preference. People who wear bright colors look fabulous. I don't own that much jewelry, but what I do own is simple or selected very carefully from a quality store.

11. Wears a crucifix (Warning: This could also mean they have been lured into the Catholic cult).
I don't own a crucifix.

12. Hasn't been lured into the Catholic cult, but is still pleasant to Catholic priests (who deliver orders to witches from Satan).
I do my best to be pleasant to everybody, so long as they are a pleasant person in return.

13. Has a cat.
Cats are beautiful creatures and I love to watch their soft grace as they curl up on couches and silently stalk prey. I don't have one, unfortunately.

14. Is a lesbian or homos*xual.
I personally am only attracted to men, but I have respect for other types of sexuality. I don't believe that loving someone is ever a bad thing, no matter what the gender.

15. Votes DemocRAT.
I'm a Conservative, believe it or not. I don't like Democratic views either. But they still deserve respect as human beings.

16. Hisses at the sight of a Bible.
I've never hissed at anything, least of all a Bible.

17. Is a feminazi.
There is a difference between feminist and feminazi. The literal dictionary definition of a feminist is someone who believes in equal rights for both men and women. Feminazi's just discriminate men, which I don't agree with. All i believe in is peace, equality, and harmony between the two sexes.

18. Refuses to spend her Eve's curse time in the menstrual shed.
Menstrual cycles are a natural process of the female body, nothing to be ashamed of. They can be really annoying and often I wish I just didn't have one, but it's not a curse. If anything it's a sign of fertility, which is a good thing.

19. Upon seeing a Christian child, starts drooling and going "Mmmmmmmm..."
Okay, repeat after me:
Witches/Wiccans are not cannibals
Witches/Wiccans are not cannibals
Witches/Wiccans are not cannibals
Witches/Wiccans are not cannibals
WITCHES/WICCANS ARE NOT CANNIBALS
WITCHES/WICCANS THINK THAT CANNIBALISM IS A HORRIBLE THING JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

20. Listens to the "music" of Cher.
If it's on, I'll listen. But what does she have to do with anything? It's just music.

21. Unexplained blood stains on clothing, skin, or hair.
From what, exactly? Witches/Wiccans don't like to kill things.

22. Has items that state they are with "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
Twilight is really for young girls that want something to daydream over. It's just a fictional book.

23. When offered ice cream, will ask for a "gelato" instead.
I like both, personally. What does this have to do with anything?

24. Screams when you take them into a church and/or will not sit still during the service.
I don't scream anyway because that would hurt my vocal chords as a singer. My parents are Catholic, so I had to go through a few masses, but I was just really bored with it all.

25. Wants to wear a costume for HELLoween.
I think costumes are a lovely art form, no matter what the occasion.

26. Asks why you are handing out Chick tracts instead of candy to their fellow coven members who have disguised themselves for "trick or treating".
I'm going to use the response of the previous answer:
What in the name of Aphrodite is a "Chick Tract"?

27. Has read Harry Potter.
The movies are entertaining, the effects very realistic and the acting quite stellar. Never read the books, as I don't have patience for teen fiction. I prefer bibliographies, informational books, and historical fiction.

28. Has videotapes of Bewitched stashed under the bed.
Never watched it.

29. Has had an abortion.
I don't plan on having children, so that's that. As for other women, I think that abortion is only right if you have it before the baby has a heartbeat, which is before 15 weeks. Then technically you aren't killing anything. Abortion is a sticky subject that has a lot of grey area and is very lengthy to discuss.

30. Claims Benghazi is a ginned up controversy.
I don't like watching the news, it makes me sad. So I don't know much about this.

31. "Flips the bird" at American servicemen.
That is a horrible, disgusting thing to do. Those are brave men and women that fight for our freedom and deserve the utmost respect. I salute them. <3

32. Sleeps until noon on Saturdays and holidays.
I'm always up around eight. What does sleeping in have to do with anything?

33. Makes gagging sounds during decent Christian prayers.
Disrespecting any religion that isn't harming anyone is wrong.

34. Supports the construction of the Ground Zero mosque.
I think that the Ground Zero mosque was a slap to the face of Americans. I am fiercely against it.

35. Isn't married but is no longer a virgin.
Virgin, but don't plan on saving it for marriage because I don't know if I'll be married or not. Still waiting for Mr. Right <3

36. Drives a Prius.
I don't know what that is, nor do I have a permit yet.

37. Doesn't like going out in the sun, claims a fear of of the nonsensical "disease" "melanoma".
The sun is a wonderful, healing, and life-giving part of nature, so long as I'm careful that my white Irish skin doesn't get burned without sunscreen.

38. Supports Obamacare, won't admit to the hidden passages in that flawed law that will be used to procure human sacrifices.
I despise Obama and obamacare, but I don't think it's goal is human sacrifice It's just leading our economy to financial ruin.

39. Fornicates with Satan.
WITCHES/WICCANS
DO
NOT
WORSHIP
SATAN

40. Will fill uterus or anus with serpents then defile self with cross.
That's utterly disgusting and sounds painful. I'm pretty sure that's something that Christians came up with on their own, because I've never heard of a Witch or Wiccan doing anything close to that. We are peaceful, loving people, not evil demons.

41. Will float when dunked in water.
Are you seriously referring to the Salem Witch Trials??

42: Worships Broccoli or other plant-based idols
I "worship" nothing. As a Green Witch, I work with and protect the earth, and when I need it, call upon the God and Goddess for strength and wisdom.

43. Deciding what to believe on the basis of what feels good, despite what history and even basic common sense have to say
Once again I shall use the answer of the previous:
History says that Nature-based religions existed long before Christianity.

44. Lives in sin without being married in the eyes of God, and sees nothing wrong with that
Again I say: still a virgin.

45. Watches Happy Days reruns and describes the time period as "ancient"
...what?

46. Pretends to have magic powers, can't keep a boyfriend because she is fat.
We don't have powers, nature does. We simply absorb the positive energy and love of the earth and use it to bring ourselves good fortune and luck. At least, that's what I do. Think pretty roses and bouquets, cups of warm tea and humming sweet songs as hope and love are drawn from the beauties of nature.

47. Will toss severed cat heads into churches or the funerals of service men and women
That's just ridiculous and never happens.

48. smells strongly of fish due to bad hygiene
I'm obsessively clean.

49. Has a vast, gaping maw of foulness and acrimony where an anus would
normally be
I wouldn't be able to walk if that were true. Why are you people so obsessed with gaping anuses?

50. Sees no problem with fornicating with beasts
Not into that. Some people are...that's their thing.

51. Dances.
Dancing. Seriously? There are so many forms of dance I don't even know where to begin. It keeps you healthy, it's good for your mood, improves coordination, and has so many other advantages. Dancing is so much fun and a beautiful art form.

52. Wears artificial Satan ears and makes devil signs, keeps saying everything is "illogical".
I don't get the illogical part, but once again...
WITCHES/WICCANS
DO
NOT
WORSHIP
SATAN.
IT
IS
A
MYTH

53. Spends more than five minutes in the shower, likely to wash away all evidence of blood and entrails, as well as attempting to wash away subconscious shame of turning against Jesus.
I take long showers because they feel nice and water is a great healer. And how do you expect me to wash this mass of hair in under five minutes?

54. M*sturbates.
Masturbation is a good, natural thing. If you think about it, it's actually kind of a comical concept.

55. enjoys rough s*x
Never had it, so no idea.

56. injects weeds (junkie)
First of all, you can't inject weed. That's heroin. For another thing, I think that weed's only good use is to help people in hospitals. Otherwise drugs in general are not a good idea.

57. enjoys long visits to the graveyard ( where they dig up freshly dug children for there s*x rituals)
Graveyards unsettle me. And that is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of in my life. Like I said before, Christians come up with a lot of these myths out of hate for Witches/Wiccans.

58: Always uses the salutation 'blessed be.'
A kind, departing phrase that only sends good wishes. And yes, I use it.

59. Intentionally misspells "magic," e.g., "magick" or "madzhyq"
It's not a misspelling. Technically "magic" is the misspelling because "magick"is the traditional spelling. I use the different spellings to define different kinds. "Magic" is stage magic, like pulling rabbits out of hats, and parlor tricks (which Witches or Wiccans are not usually a part of). "Magick" refers to witchcraft.

60. Claims to be able to use "magick" but always has an excuse prepared when asked to demonstrate the ability to do so
And again, the previous answer explains it best:
You obviously don't know how our Magick works, then. It is all about focusing energy towards your end goal, and most believe in the Threefold Law, which states that what one sends out, one shall receive back threefold. Also, negative energy should never be sent, as it is said to not work at all, and just immediately return back to you. I personally like casting spells of protection, giving charms for headache relief, that sort of thing.

61: secretly wants to kill themselves to attract attention for their own sexual gratification.
That makes no sense.

62. They are prompted by Satan to go to True Christian™ forums and constantly disrupt fellowship and threads of important and vital information
This "information" is wrong. That's why I'm here. You are spreading lies about our craft because you know nothing about it. That's why I am here, so let you know that what you've heard about us is wrong. We are good, peaceful people that only wish to stop the discrimination against our nature-loving ways.

63. Watches Disney television.
Excuse me? Okay, this is really personal territory now. I am an intern to be an animator for Disney. The company has brought so much joy to so many people and will continue to do so in the future. Walt Disney himself was a wonderful man; I should know, I've read his bibliography back to front. But also, it's just a freaking cartoon. I really can't think of anyone who was corrupted because they watched a Disney film or show.

64: Has one or more tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 means as much to a Wicca as any other part of God's Word
I don't have any, but I think people who do have them are really cool. It's a great form of self-expression.

65. Plays the satanic minecraft!
How on earth is minecraft satanic?? And I don't play games.

66. Has pagan friends!
I'm a solitary witch.

67. Fornicates to porn!
A lot of people do. I personally don't.

68. Reads Percy Jackson (even worse than Harry Potter)
Never read it, but who cares? It's fiction.

69. Watches Doctor Who (Satan's television)
Never watched it. But again: FICTION

70. Refuses to read God's Holy Words, the Bible.
A valuable, historical work that has some very good moral guidelines. The thing is, like most scriptures, it can be translated in many different ways. It can be used for hate and it can be used for love. Like anything else, people can use it to abuse others. It was also written by men, and by Christian logic, men are sinners. And what is an example of sin? Dishonesty. Men can be dishonest and are so great extents. Therefore I don't believe the Bible can be believed word for word, that's why I left it. I have nothing solid to follow, so I follow my heart and emotions, which led me to nature.

71. Won't pay attention during class.
Straight A student. I work very hard at my artwork.

72. Listen's to rap music (the nerve!)
What's wrong with rap music? I don't have an opinion on it but it makes a lot of people happy and inspired.

73. Tortures flies.
I kill them to get rid of danger but I don't torture anything.

74. Backtalks to their elders!
I only give respect to those who give me respect, not matter their age.

75. Supports Obama!
I hate him.

76. Diets instead of eating wholesome American food.
I only eat natural foods. Processed foods makes me physically ill.

77. Has random bloodstains in their room (unless they are female, for that could be something else entirely...)
That's gross.

78. Treats foreigners as equals.
A person is a person and a living being on the beautiful earth. Unless they are causing harm to others, they deserve as much as anyone else.

79. Your' child pays off their credit cards every month
Don't have one, but if I did that sounds like a responsible thing to do.

62. Has salt sprinkled along the windowsill.
Salt is a cleansing mineral and can get rid of bacteria in wounds. It's very good for you, so I don't see why it's a bad thing.

63. Always keeps a broom right next to the door
We don't ride them, contrary to popular belief. We use them to cast away evil and forbid them to enter.

64. Wears bloody diapers
By this do you mean pads? They're very useful, you know.

65. Uses reusable tampons and cloth menstrual pads when out in public. Sits under a tree and lets the moss absorb the womanly fluids when at home
Reusable tampons are disgusting and unhealthy, as well as cloth pads. And the tree and moss thing...yeah never heard of it.

66. Watches Oprah
I don't watch her, but what does she have to do with anything?

69. Has taken a job away from a man.
I wouldn't want to take a job from anyone, no matter the gender.

70. Injects embryonic stem cells into their nether regions.
Huh?

71. Indulges in mindless feminazi tantrums when confronted with God's own truth
Once again, I am not a feminazi.

72. Consistently experiences disappointment after publicly performing cunnilingus on menstruating lesbians to make herself more attractive to men
I have no idea what that means. Never heard of it.

73. Forages through Christian garbage cans for hair and nail clippings to use them in their evil spells
That's gross. And we don't work with evil spirits.

74. combs their hair with fish bones
Disgisting. Not to mention it wouldn't work.

75. uses an inordinate amount of talcum powder
Don't know what that is.

76. Makes wine out of the blood of Christian babies.
How do you go about making blood into wine, exactly? And that's a disgusting myth. And as I said before, anyone who hurts a child will feel my wrath.

77. Washes in urine exclusively
EWWWW

78. Refuses to watch the Olympics but somehow still finds a way to cheer against America.
I always root for our country. I love the Olympics. Who said we were anti-American?? You can't get much more Proud American than me.

79. Only became a fan of Justin Bieber after reading Landover Baptist Church's damning expose on how he is a gateway drug to the homos*xual agenda.
Justin Bieber is a disgrace to my generation.

80. After aborting her unborn baby, expresses her unused milk for unholy c*cktails with her coven
Where do you guys come up with these things?? That's horrible! And I'm a solitary Green Witch, I do not belong to anyone or anything!

Okay, so that was my spin on things. I'm not here to flame or hate, only to politely correct false information and maybe educate a little, because I can't stand seeing our craft and beliefs ridiculed simply because of fall knowledge. It is said that people fear and hate what they do not know. I am sensing that with all of you. So I got an account so I could let everyone know that the assumptions that go with witchcraft is usually false. Witches and Wiccans, as I've said a million times, are peaceful, kind, and happy. We're basically the original tree-huggers that just want to love everything and have everyone love them. Anyone who does otherwise is not a true Witch or Wiccan. We do not force or solicit our beliefs, but we welcome those who want to learn. The things that you guys associate with witchcraft all sounds like Black Magick, which is rarely performed nowadays and is looked down upon by all other kinds of witchcraft. But because it's the black side of something, that's what people tend to focus on. And even Black Magick doesn't include any of the things you guys are bringing up, here.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Signs your child has been lured into the Wicca cult

1. One or more of your pets are missing. This could be due to animal sacrifice...

Well that's nice. Say, why not tell us about your walk with Jesus! What church do you go to? What is your favorite Bible verse? How do you most like to share the Good News with the Spiritually Walking Dead?