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  • #31
    Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

    Personally, I think God should just SMITE ALL EVIL RELIGIONS, HERETICS, AND ANYONE WHO COMMITS BLASHPHEMY STARTING WITH NONE OTHER THAN...THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH FOR THEIR FALSE PREACHING AND OBVIOUS HATE OF ALL THINGS GODLY!!!

    Comment

    • #32
      Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

      Originally posted by DAT21 View Post
      Personally, I think God should just SMITE ALL EVIL RELIGIONS, HERETICS, AND ANYONE WHO COMMITS BLASHPHEMY STARTING WITH NONE OTHER THAN...THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH FOR THEIR FALSE PREACHING AND OBVIOUS HATE OF ALL THINGS GODLY!!!
      I agree 100%!

      Comment

      • #33
        Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

        Originally posted by DAT21 View Post
        Personally, I think God should just SMITE ALL EVIL RELIGIONS, HERETICS, AND ANYONE WHO COMMITS BLASHPHEMY STARTING WITH NONE OTHER THAN...THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH FOR THEIR FALSE PREACHING AND OBVIOUS HATE OF ALL THINGS GODLY!!!
        REPENT, GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND START PLEASING JESUS. FEEL HIS SALVATION ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

        Comment

        • #34
          Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

          Originally posted by DAT21 View Post
          REPENT, GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND START PLEASING JESUS. FEEL HIS SALVATION ALL OVER YOUR FACE.
          OH! So you are a CATLICKER! Get thee hence, son of SATAN!
          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


          Comment

          • #35
            Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
            OH! So you are a CATLICKER! Get thee hence, son of SATAN!
            When did I mention cats. Get thee to Satan false prophet. By the way, I was licking your mom's pussy-cat last night.

            Comment

            • #36
              Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

              Originally posted by DAT21 View Post
              When did I mention cats. Get thee to Satan false prophet. By the way, I was licking your mom's pussy-cat last night.
              Lmao! I thought you guys were 'Christian'. Anyway. The wrost false religion is Baptist! Haha. I mean come on. No real christian goes around spanking their wives. That's to kinky for you guys. Why don't you stick to all those lame ass christmas carols that are as annoying as hell.

              Why do you spank your wives?
              Romans 1:24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

              Comment

              • #37
                Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                Originally posted by DAT21 View Post
                When did I mention cats. Get thee to Satan false prophet. By the way, I was licking your mom's pussy-cat last night.
                OOPS! GONG!
                Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                Comment

                • #38
                  Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                  Originally posted by tommy View Post
                  Every religion has its "worst false religion".
                  I know. It is called "Islam."
                  Originally posted by Clown
                  Lmao! I thought you guys were 'Christian'. In case you had failed to notice, the idiot with fleas on his tongue isn't one of us, just a particularly imbecilic piece of tumbleweed which happened to roll in from the information superhighway. Anyway. The wrost false religion is Baptist! Oh good, I was just thinking there wasn't enough stupidity on the boards today. Haha. I mean come on. No real christian goes around spanking their wives. That's to kinky for you guys. Why don't you stick to all those lame ass christmas carols that are as annoying as hell.

                  Why do you spank your wives?
                  Because somebody's got to.
                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                  Comment

                  • #39
                    Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                    Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                    I know. It is called "Islam."

                    Because somebody's got to.
                    I find it amusing that you think that Islam is the worst religion. Of all the religions to hate why do you pick similar ones? Judism, Islam and christianity all believe similar things whith slight differences. WHy dont you hate completely different religions like taoism?

                    Comment

                    • #40
                      Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                      Originally posted by Brother Phil View Post
                      I find it amusing that you think that Islam is the worst religion. Of all the religions to hate why do you pick similar ones? Judism, Islam and christianity all believe similar things whith slight differences. WHy dont you hate completely different religions like taoism?
                      You call the difference between worshipping someone and nailing them to a big plank of wood a "slight difference"? My word. And whoever said we don't hate taoists?
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                      Comment

                      • #41
                        Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                        Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                        And whoever said we don't hate taoists?
                        I never tried a Taoist, but if you rearrange the letters it spells "Toasti", so I guess they taste like Quiznos subs.



                        Edit: Er, not that I'd ever put one in my MOUTH . . . um . . . I was just, ah, speculating. Yes, speculating.

                        Comment

                        • #42
                          Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                          Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                          I never tried a Taoist, but if you rearrange the letters it spells "Toasti", so I guess they taste like Quiznos subs.



                          Edit: Er, not that I'd ever put one in my MOUTH . . . um . . . I was just, ah, speculating. Yes, speculating.
                          Thank goodness bc Quiznos subs taste like crap. Don't you people eat any good around here? All this Denny's and Quizno's talk is worrying.
                          Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
                          I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
                          Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
                          Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
                          Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.                           - Ovid

                          Comment

                          • #43
                            Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                            Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
                            Thank goodness bc Quiznos subs taste like crap. Don't you people eat any good around here? All this Denny's and Quizno's talk is worrying.
                            Well I don't like to brag, but Sister Thumper can whip up a fine rabbit casserole. And we Pastors get together once a week or so for a pig roast.

                            We know how to live right, Praise Jesus.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • #44
                              Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                              It's a very tricky question. I am always cautious to avoid violating Matthew 23:9, for fear that I'd turn into a Catholic idolator and end up in the Lake of Fire. Generally speaking, since my father is a yid, I just avoid talking to him whenever possible.


                              Hmmm... this drink sounds like it may have some kind of soporific effects. On the other hand, the Bible is so chock-full of fascinating stuff that leafing through it'll wake you right up. And this political theory book is NOT an adequate substitute for God's word! I've had the misfortune to encounter political theory on occasion, and it's a bunch of tedious mumbo-jumbo. You won't find gripping stuff like this in The Origins of the Family, Private Property, and the State (or whatever secular rubbish is trendy this week):
                              Genesis 5:1 ...Japheth.

                              Where God took Enoch is another question altogether.
                              Why Brother Temperance, don't tell me you read those books too. Any on philosophy? I think your hiding that intellectual light under a bushel!

                              The Bible truly is a wondrous thing. By only skimming that edifying excerpt of verses you posted...I felt the urge to meditate on the Lord. My eyes closed instantly in reverence.
                              Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
                              I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
                              Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
                              Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
                              Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.                               - Ovid

                              Comment

                              • #45
                                Re: POLL: The Worst False Religion?

                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                Well I don't like to brag, but Sister Thumper can whip up a fine rabbit casserole. And we Pastors get together once a week or so for a pig roast.

                                We know how to live right, Praise Jesus.
                                Ooh. The sisters have me beat. I've roasted duck, but never a whole pig in such an...outdoorsy fashion and have no skill for rabbit casserole. I bow to their superior talent.
                                Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
                                I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
                                Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
                                Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
                                Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.                                 - Ovid

                                Comment

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