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I take this from a website:
A. A sister or nun is a woman who is called by God to enter into the religious consecrated life. She is a bride of Christ, because He has chosen her for this purpose. Her main identity is as a spouse of Christ.
Now, I might see that having more than one wife is a Godly thing, cf. Solomon (although they got a bit much for even him!). Nevertheless, don’t you think it’s a bit of a cheek marrying people off to Christ without His being able to say Yes or No?
I’ll be frank here: not all nuns are as fit as a butcher’s dog and only the very best is good enough for Jesus. I get the distinct impression that if there is a homely girl in a catlick family, it’s cheaper to marry her off to Christ than keep her hanging around the house banging on about transubstantiation and the pope. (Can you imagine how tedious that becomes after 20 years?)
It doesn’t end there; not all nuns are good American girls – all sorts get given to Him. I mean it is well known that Portuguese women are less attractive than a badger’s ass with mustachios a little heavier than their armpit hair, but the Portuguese are fake Spaniards and all of them are catlix.
Can you imagine? Jesus comes back to Heaven after a heavy day ensuring all sinners are burning nicely; He sort of floats across a cloud and opens the magnificently tooled doors and is greeted not by celestial music and a welcoming Mint Julep from a True Christian, but a selection of butt-ugly fat chicks dressed as penguins.
Now, I suppose there are some homely women who have a real nice character (Come on! Bear with me here! There’s got to be at least one!) And if Jesus thought that marrying any one of these women to Him were the thing to do, surely He’d favor her with a quick miracle make-over? I mean, come the Rapture, she’ll have to be appearing in public as it were.
OK. Let’s for one moment assume that nuns are harmless – what’s their purpose? What can they do that a True Christian can’t? Well, I suppose there are lots of jokes that start, “There were these three nuns and…” but supplying humorous anecdotes for the world is surely not a Godly purpose! Then there’s that flim, “The Black Narcissus” (Huh! Nephew Zebulun told me that was about nigra homers, so I never actually watched it) and “The Sound of Music”. I was forced to watch that as part of my duties on The Committee for the Instigation of Indignation – It should be banned! But this can’t be the point of nuns.
Anyway, I’m fed up with nuns now, if you can think of anything they do that’s worthwhile, let me know.
A. A sister or nun is a woman who is called by God to enter into the religious consecrated life. She is a bride of Christ, because He has chosen her for this purpose. Her main identity is as a spouse of Christ.
I’ll be frank here: not all nuns are as fit as a butcher’s dog and only the very best is good enough for Jesus. I get the distinct impression that if there is a homely girl in a catlick family, it’s cheaper to marry her off to Christ than keep her hanging around the house banging on about transubstantiation and the pope. (Can you imagine how tedious that becomes after 20 years?)
It doesn’t end there; not all nuns are good American girls – all sorts get given to Him. I mean it is well known that Portuguese women are less attractive than a badger’s ass with mustachios a little heavier than their armpit hair, but the Portuguese are fake Spaniards and all of them are catlix.
Can you imagine? Jesus comes back to Heaven after a heavy day ensuring all sinners are burning nicely; He sort of floats across a cloud and opens the magnificently tooled doors and is greeted not by celestial music and a welcoming Mint Julep from a True Christian, but a selection of butt-ugly fat chicks dressed as penguins.
Now, I suppose there are some homely women who have a real nice character (Come on! Bear with me here! There’s got to be at least one!) And if Jesus thought that marrying any one of these women to Him were the thing to do, surely He’d favor her with a quick miracle make-over? I mean, come the Rapture, she’ll have to be appearing in public as it were.
OK. Let’s for one moment assume that nuns are harmless – what’s their purpose? What can they do that a True Christian can’t? Well, I suppose there are lots of jokes that start, “There were these three nuns and…” but supplying humorous anecdotes for the world is surely not a Godly purpose! Then there’s that flim, “The Black Narcissus” (Huh! Nephew Zebulun told me that was about nigra homers, so I never actually watched it) and “The Sound of Music”. I was forced to watch that as part of my duties on The Committee for the Instigation of Indignation – It should be banned! But this can’t be the point of nuns.
Anyway, I’m fed up with nuns now, if you can think of anything they do that’s worthwhile, let me know.
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