WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

[Brother_Percy]

"What do you want for your birthday" I asked my 5 year old nephew....

"Sea-Monkeys, Uncle Percy!!!" He cried excitedly!


Sea-Monkeys??? Sea....MONKEYS!?? What sort of garbage is this? I had never heard of these creatures before, but naturally I was concerned. What sort of kid wants some Fish-Monkey Hybrid as a pet? And why do they even exist? Was this some sort of Frankenstein Science Experiment gone wrong? Naturally, I had to investigate.... and that's when I found THIS.....



"An amazing Miracle .... Just add water"???? Friends, does this sound like some sort if "Miracle" to you, or does this sound like the work of the Devil!

It gets worse....



"You can BE God"????? Friends, it doesn't take a genius to work out what's going on here! Yes, these "Grow your own DEMON" Kits are obviously a clever marketing trick by Satanists, probably aimed at brainwashing your children against God. It's all part of the larger Satanic Conspiracy to take control... and it looks like they're succeeding!

Their main aim, no doubt, must be to get as many of these tiny Hell-spawn into as many Christian homes as possible - so they can spy on us! No doubt passing all their information back to their master, Lucifer!

DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO OWN ONE OF THESE DEMONS! THEIR SOUL DEPENDS ON IT!

... MORE TO INFORMATION TO FOLLOW ....

[Justina Thyme]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

Brother Percy, I commend you for your vigilance in exhorting all True Christians™ to avoid this fiendish plot to seize the souls of our beautiful children. This twisted endeavor on the part of these DEMON-ridden, hellbound scum must be stopped! I suggest a letter-writing campaign and/or a boycott.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

Yes, a boycott! I undertake not to buy sea-monkeys until it is acknowledged that they are not “instant life” and it is confirmed by a Pastor that they are neither demons nor the spawn of the Devil.

These things are small, very small, and might find their way into your very soul!

[Nobar King]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

You know there's something fishy there if it only costs $1.25. Did you get ripped off or were you able to create instant life with your own hands?

[Brother_Percy]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

You know there's something fishy there if it only costs $1.25.

Exactly Brother N. These 'kits' promise young naive kids that they can 'be a God' for only '$1.25'. In all my life I have never heard such blasphemy!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

You realize Brother Percy that these demonic things come from the Great Salt Lake in Utah. It is yet another mormon effort to subvert our Godly country!

YIC

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

Hmm ... the daddy sea monkey's smiling face looks vaguely familiar ....

Oh, yes, here it is:



Okay, now try to convince me that those things aren't demonic.

[Lolita]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

SHRIMP. It's SHRIMP. They call it "Sea Monkeys," because if they called it, "Shrimp," kids wouldn't buy them!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

SHRIMP. It's SHRIMP. They call it "Sea Monkeys," because if they called it, "Shrimp," kids wouldn't buy them!

What? I would totally by a product called Shrimp Monkeys!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

SHRIMP. It's SHRIMP. They call it "Sea Monkeys," because if they called it, "Shrimp," kids wouldn't buy them!

Do you market yourself to potential customers as a monkey whore?

[LambOfGod]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

- SEA Monkeys are a trademark given to sell a variant of brine shrimp or Artemia salina, now called Artemia salina x nyos that originate in salt lakes and evaporation flats and are members of the phylum Arthropoda.

The key ability of unhatched "Sea-Monkeys" to be packaged, shipped, and handled is that, in certain easily prepared environments, they enter cryptobiosis, a natural state of suspended animation. When released into the prepared aquarium they leave this state and emerge from their cysts. The genetic variant of brine shrimp, the Sea-Monkey, was given the term "instant life" to reflect the instant hatching seen when the cysts are added to the correctly balanced saltwater medium.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

Speak English!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

- SEA Monkeys are a trademark given to sell a variant of brine shrimp or Artemia salina, [...gibberish deleted]

Brother Eliot, I couldn't agree more. I gave up after reading the italicized script, which was clearly a curse from a demon. I really think that the moderators on this Godly forum should be looking at some of the idiots who think it's their right to spout ridiculous, random words in the hopes of infecting True Christians!

These damnable sea apes can have a serious effect on the young, elderly or sick and should be banned!

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

SHRIMP. It's SHRIMP. They call it "Sea Monkeys," because if they called it, "Shrimp," kids wouldn't buy them!

Does that family of aqua demons look like shrimp to you? Since when do shrimp have two arms, two legs and a toothy smile? If you aren't the dumbest, most gullible, simple minded woman ever I don't know who is.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: WARNING ! FISH MONKEY DEMONS FROM HELL !!!

Sodom and Gomorrah They're all naked!