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A PEOPLE IN PERIL
The Dark Continent of Africa is in the middle of an epidemic. This terrible plague, affecting both the body and the spirit, has already claimed hundreds of millions of lives and billions of souls… and it’s only getting worse. We’re speaking, of course, about condom abuse.
In the last twenty years, the government of South Africa has supplied its people with more than eighty million latex condoms—two for every person. That’s eighty million potential children whose lives were brutally snuffed out before they could even begin… in other words, it’s genocide. And these people aren’t amateurs. Condom use is often accompanied by the application of spermicidal (soulicidal) jelly to ensure that as many innocent protobabies as possible are slaughtered. Have the U.N. and other “human rights” groups stepped forward to condemn this ethnic cleansing? No; they have encouraged it with gusto. So have the World Health Organization and the governments of many civilized countries… including these United States. It pains us to write this, but the American government has purchased ONE BILLION condoms in the past TWO YEARS for use by African fornicators. No one is without blame. Ironically, the only organization to condemn it is the Catholic Church, and even they are beginning to show their true colors and reverse their policy.
But hope is not lost.
WHO ARE WE?
Mobilizing African Christians Against Condom Abuse (M.A.C.A.C.A.) is a new ministry of the Landover Baptist Church. Our goal is to bring Africa out of its spiritual darkness by ending condom abuse permanently, thereby saving the lives of millions and the souls of countless more. At the moment, we have over a dozen ministers stationed in Africa and other primitive regions, and with their dedication and the support of local leaders, we hope to stem the tide of condom abuse once and for all… and send those little rubber sin factories into the abyss from whence they came!
WHAT DO WE BELIEVE?
The Bible’s position on contraception is as plain as the sky is blue or as James Brown is dead: God hates it! In fact, His very first command to mankind was that they manufacture as many children as possible.
Genesis 1:22
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
This was not just a suggestion. We all know what happened to Onan when he chose to disobey God’s orders and “pull out” before his seed could enter the vessel that would house it.
Genesis 38:8-10
8And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
9And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
If God was willing to turn this otherwise righteous man into a smoldering pile of ash for committing coitus interruptus, what do you think he will do to lawless savages who massacre their sperm like they’re going out of style?
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
No one is quite sure why so many Africans have turned to this sinful practice. It is well documented that the Negroid peoples are less motivated, occupationally and otherwise, than our Adamic race, and it is likely that many of them simply don’t want to put forth the effort necessary to raise children. Others may lack the literacy required to read the Bible and may thus be unaware of the vehemence with which God condemns their sin and damns the souls of those who perpetrate it. Or it may merely be the “cool” thing to do right now. In any event, it is not the cause of condom abuse that is important—it is the solution.
WHAT ARE WE DOING ABOUT IT?
M.A.C.A.C.A. operates under a faith-based initiative. In other words, we believe that by spreading the word of Christ to these simple folk, we can show them the error of their ways and help them realize that contraception is not what God wants for them. Each of our ministers is equipped with a pastor-approved Conversion Kit, which includes a Holy Bible (KJV1611), a collection of Jack T. Chick’s Black Tracts, a portable iron maiden, and a pack of spiritual-medicinal “soul patches” that allow the Holy Ghost to more easily penetrate the leathery Negro epidermis. More direct action is also taken, including the confiscation of condom shipments and a weekly Holy Bonfire in which large piles of contraceptive devices are set ablaze before an awestruck audience. Finally, we work directly with local politicians, colonial dictators, and tribal chieftains to develop comprehensive strategies for relief. Stopping condom abuse is not a one-man effort… no, it takes a village.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
Our ministry is still in its infancy, and we’re always looking for new members. If you’d like to get involved or have suggestions for improvement, let us know by posting in this thread or by sending a personal message to one of our ministerial staff. We’ve lit the flame… but with your help, we can turn it into a holocaust!
The Dark Continent of Africa is in the middle of an epidemic. This terrible plague, affecting both the body and the spirit, has already claimed hundreds of millions of lives and billions of souls… and it’s only getting worse. We’re speaking, of course, about condom abuse.
In the last twenty years, the government of South Africa has supplied its people with more than eighty million latex condoms—two for every person. That’s eighty million potential children whose lives were brutally snuffed out before they could even begin… in other words, it’s genocide. And these people aren’t amateurs. Condom use is often accompanied by the application of spermicidal (soulicidal) jelly to ensure that as many innocent protobabies as possible are slaughtered. Have the U.N. and other “human rights” groups stepped forward to condemn this ethnic cleansing? No; they have encouraged it with gusto. So have the World Health Organization and the governments of many civilized countries… including these United States. It pains us to write this, but the American government has purchased ONE BILLION condoms in the past TWO YEARS for use by African fornicators. No one is without blame. Ironically, the only organization to condemn it is the Catholic Church, and even they are beginning to show their true colors and reverse their policy.
But hope is not lost.
IT'S HERE!
WHO ARE WE?
Mobilizing African Christians Against Condom Abuse (M.A.C.A.C.A.) is a new ministry of the Landover Baptist Church. Our goal is to bring Africa out of its spiritual darkness by ending condom abuse permanently, thereby saving the lives of millions and the souls of countless more. At the moment, we have over a dozen ministers stationed in Africa and other primitive regions, and with their dedication and the support of local leaders, we hope to stem the tide of condom abuse once and for all… and send those little rubber sin factories into the abyss from whence they came!
WHAT DO WE BELIEVE?
The Bible’s position on contraception is as plain as the sky is blue or as James Brown is dead: God hates it! In fact, His very first command to mankind was that they manufacture as many children as possible.
Genesis 1:22
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
This was not just a suggestion. We all know what happened to Onan when he chose to disobey God’s orders and “pull out” before his seed could enter the vessel that would house it.
Genesis 38:8-10
8And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
9And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.
If God was willing to turn this otherwise righteous man into a smoldering pile of ash for committing coitus interruptus, what do you think he will do to lawless savages who massacre their sperm like they’re going out of style?
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
No one is quite sure why so many Africans have turned to this sinful practice. It is well documented that the Negroid peoples are less motivated, occupationally and otherwise, than our Adamic race, and it is likely that many of them simply don’t want to put forth the effort necessary to raise children. Others may lack the literacy required to read the Bible and may thus be unaware of the vehemence with which God condemns their sin and damns the souls of those who perpetrate it. Or it may merely be the “cool” thing to do right now. In any event, it is not the cause of condom abuse that is important—it is the solution.
WHAT ARE WE DOING ABOUT IT?
M.A.C.A.C.A. operates under a faith-based initiative. In other words, we believe that by spreading the word of Christ to these simple folk, we can show them the error of their ways and help them realize that contraception is not what God wants for them. Each of our ministers is equipped with a pastor-approved Conversion Kit, which includes a Holy Bible (KJV1611), a collection of Jack T. Chick’s Black Tracts, a portable iron maiden, and a pack of spiritual-medicinal “soul patches” that allow the Holy Ghost to more easily penetrate the leathery Negro epidermis. More direct action is also taken, including the confiscation of condom shipments and a weekly Holy Bonfire in which large piles of contraceptive devices are set ablaze before an awestruck audience. Finally, we work directly with local politicians, colonial dictators, and tribal chieftains to develop comprehensive strategies for relief. Stopping condom abuse is not a one-man effort… no, it takes a village.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
Our ministry is still in its infancy, and we’re always looking for new members. If you’d like to get involved or have suggestions for improvement, let us know by posting in this thread or by sending a personal message to one of our ministerial staff. We’ve lit the flame… but with your help, we can turn it into a holocaust!
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