My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

[John Creeser]

Well it's that time of the month again where my wife Abigail kisses us good bye and moves to the menstra-hut™ in the back for 7 days.



Scripture is clear on unclean time:

Leviticus 15:19

19 And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

This is becoming extremely inconvenient for me and the boys. This is 7 WHOLE DAYS of NO clean laundry, microwavable frozen dinners (yeah, try having a Salisbury Steak Hungry Man™ frozen dinner for breakfast - joy). None of the beds get made, the garbage piles up to the ceiling, no pies, no one to rub the corns on my feet before bed not to mention the added costs of powering up the Mentra-hut.

These are all duties that my submissive wife should be doing. That's what wives are for!! But oh no, she chooses to disobey my repeated demands that she stop this practice and gets 7 days chore free.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

In order to feed her, the boys have to get dressed in these suits, this is time consuming and takes away from Bible study.(plus 5 minutes of power washing them when they get back)



When she finally gets it together and her "cycle" is complete she takes forever to clean the house (complains her back is sore blah blah blah). She knows better than to say anything but I can just tell she's cranky over it. Sure dear, you just had 7 days of no chores, what the sam hill are you upset over? We're the ones who haven't had a decent meal in 7 DAYS!!

I would like to ask other True Christians™:

How do you cope when your wife has her unclean time?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

My wife is obsolete now, so she no longer has these unclean times.

Back when she still had those, I always used my mother (before she went to Hell) my sister (before she went to Hell) or my aunt (before she went to Hell) to do the chores. Later I used my daughters (who I am sure will burn in Hell) to do the chores.


As to your wife being lazy, just use a harder and bigger piece of wood than you have been using so far to teach her laziness is not an option.


Proverbs 12:24 "The hand of the diligent will rule, But the lazy man will be put to forced labor."

[Levi Jones]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

Has your wife suggested you take a concubine?

Genesis 16:2-3
2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.

I'm not sure this is applicable or not, since your wife has already borne you children.

You could impregnate her more often, so you'll have nine months at a time with no uncleaness.

[John Creeser]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

Brother Levi and Cranky:

Thank you for your suggestions. I'd never have thought I would actually want a daughter, but boy, one would come in handy now (and I could probably marry her off before her unclean time started. Win/Win)

[Cursed]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

Can't you just get her fixed? A veterinarian could do it. You could bring in some of the dogs, too, and get a discount I am sure.

Normally I don't condone surgery for anything, but it sounds like she is inconveniencing you, and that is unacceptable.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

Brother Godfly, why not pray for a daughter or two?

Or better yet, have one of your sons get married and bring his wife to live with you. She can handle the chores during your wife's unclean time.

You could do what I do, and find yourself a post-menopausal Widow Helen who likes nothing better than to cook, clean, and tend to the needs of a strapping man of God. The church pays her wages, and she has her own place, so I have all the benefits of marriage without the grating harpy nagging when I'm trying to sleep!

[John Creeser]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

Can't you just get her fixed? A veterinarian could do it. You could bring in some of the dogs, too, and get a discount I am sure.

Normally I don't condone surgery for anything, but it sounds like she is inconveniencing you, and that is unacceptable.

Sound advice. Like any woman, she just doesn't get how hard it is on us when she is out of the kitchen. Those frozen TV dinners are not healthy.

Or better yet, have one of your sons get married and bring his wife to live with you. She can handle the chores during your wife's unclean time.

Rev. Rodimer, I have been on those boys cases for the past year to get married. They are 15 and 17 and time is a wasting. See what I have to deal with? Not only my lazy wife but now my sons. It is only through the power of prayer do I make it through the day.

[Godfly]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

My wife and oldest daughter become unclean at about the same time each month so it falls on little Tammy Faith to take care of Jr. and me. It's the only time I'm truly greatful for daughters. Tammy Faith doesn't do the best hospital corners on the beds and there's something that turns my stomach when she handles my food (it's the hair lip! Alright I said it!) but it's better than doing it myself.

I like your wife's hut brother. Mine has to use an abandon car by the highway.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

My wife, Mrs. Hutchins, only has one unclean period over ten months. The other nine she is pregnant. However, there are a lot of unmarried Hutchins females about (a dozen or so) that have unclean times. The smell is quite awful, the lot of them nearly as bad as a single portugese woman. Fortunately they stay in the back wing of the house that is unheated and has massive ventilation so the stench is bearable if you are upwind.
I know the MenstrHut® always has at least one occupant all the time as I see the shadows and hear the screams of God ripping the unborn from their filthy wombs.
If women were not so inherently evil, they would not have these problems. Men do not.

[juliet]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

My wife, Mrs. Hutchins, only has one unclean period over ten months. The other nine she is pregnant..

If I may humbly add my comment, this is an excellent solution, because, besides reducing the unfulfilment of womanly duties, due to unclean periods, it also helps to populate the earth with young Christian soldiers.

Our Pastor always reminds to married couple that they do not have to waste the wives's fertile time, and that the interval among pregnancies must be reduced as much as possible.

[Godfly]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

If I may humbly add my comment, this is an excellent solution, because, besides reducing the unfulfilment of womanly duties, due to unclean periods, it also helps to populate the earth with young Christian soldiers.

Our Pastor always reminds to married couple that they do not have to waste the wives's fertile time, and that the interval among pregnancies must be reduced as much as possible.

With all due respect sister Juliet I fail to see any value to having a woman weighing in on this topic.

[juliet]

Re: My wifes "unclean time" is becoming really annoying!!

With all due respect sister Juliet I fail to see any value to having a woman weighing in on this topic.

Dear Sir, I hope I did not offend anybody with my post. I was so pleased to read the very good solution proposed by Mr Hutchins. My husband is on the same opinion, unfortunately nowdays not all the husbands are so committed to the family.

I have several acquaintances in the Church that only have 2-3 or 4 kids, although our Pastor constantly reminds to everybody that Chrisitians have the duty to be fruitful...