My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

[Witch Hammer]

I told him that (no) thanks to Abe Lincoln, daddys are no longer allowed to buy little baby nigras for their children. He wept bitterly at this, and I tried to soothe him by suggesting a more intelligent and better smelling pet. At this point' he was in a full blown tantrum. I brieflyconsidered caning the boy, for I do love him so, but something stayed my hand. "Look,son", I told him, "nigras are cute when they are young, but those things grow into rip snorting over-sexed bucks in no time at all. Even if secular law allowed me to buy you one, I would never be able to afford its Crack habit."

In spite of the logic of my argument, I immediately began to think of ways I could get my hands on a young nigra. My wife sure could use some extra help in the kitchen, I rationalized....

I considered adopting one, but I can't stomach the thought of a blackie using my surname, even if it is a mere formality. Maybe I should just get him a spider monkey after all...sigh...

[Levi Jones]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

Slavery is ordained by God's word. Black slavery is specifically okay in the Bible as per Genesis 9:25.

It is when ownership goes wrong and you end up letting your pet bucks all escape. Without someone to feed and care for them, this is what happens!





It's like getting a baby alligator. Sure it's cute but when it grows too large, you end up flushing it down the toilet and it continues to grow in the sewers.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

You're a good and understanding father, Brother Witch Hammer! The colored boys they breed today wouldn't know what to do in a white man's home anyway. They get so skittish and confused.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

They are also addicts Sister Mary.

I worry what one would do without a constant supply of KFC and waddymelon. I'd be worried they'd rape or kill for it.

Decisions, decisions...

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

I told him that (no) thanks to Abe Lincoln, daddys are no longer allowed to buy little baby nigras for their children. He wept bitterly at this, and I tried to soothe him by suggesting a more intelligent and better smelling pet. At this point' he was in a full blown tantrum. I brieflyconsidered caning the boy, for I do love him so, but something stayed my hand. "Look,son", I told him, "nigras are cute when they are young, but those things grow into rip snorting over-sexed bucks in no time at all. Even if secular law allowed me to buy you one, I would never be able to afford its Crack habit."

In spite of the logic of my argument, I immediately began to think of ways I could get my hands on a young nigra. My wife sure could use some extra help in the kitchen, I rationalized....

I considered adopting one, but I can't stomach the thought of a blackie using my surname, even if it is a mere formality. Maybe I should just get him a spider monkey after all...sigh...

The thought of your innocent young child weeping wrenches my heart.

I have given this a great deal of thought. Perhaps purchasing an African Pygmy child is more suited to your lifestyle. I'm sure there are some very reputable brokers that service the USA-Africa trade.

Some advantages are:

1. They are less threatening to neighbors when taken for walks.
2. If kept indoors, they require a smaller cage.
3. Easier to handle/train.
4. Remain cuddly well into middle age.
5. Easier to bathe.
6. Easier to feed.

I hope this helps.

YIC

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

The thought of your innocent young child weeping wrenches my heart.

I have given this a great deal of thought. Perhaps purchasing an African Pygmy child is more suited to your lifestyle. I'm sure there are some very reputable brokers that service the USA-Africa trade.

Please understand I do not attempt to correct you, friend, but I've heard nothing good about these African nigras. They are far lazier than the American variety. Why, just one look at the African nigra children will reveal how they're even too lazy to eat.

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

Please understand I do not attempt to correct you, friend, but I've heard nothing good about these African nigras. They are far lazier than the American variety. Why, just one look at the African nigra children will reveal how they're even too lazy to eat.

You are so right Sister Mary. Imagine what a burden it would be having to carry one of those things back and forth twice a day from its pen to the poopy area!

I will continue to look into a suitable birthday gift for Brother Witch Hammer's son,

YIC

[Jordon_za]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

Please understand I do not attempt to correct you, friend, but I've heard nothing good about these African nigras. They are far lazier than the American variety. Why, just one look at the African nigra children will reveal how they're even too lazy to eat.

You are most correct. I reside at the african nigra factory. I call it a factory, because they breed like vermin here and they are useless as slaves They can't even mow the lawn without burning down the back yard.

[Godfly]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

God gave AIDS to all the African nigra. So it wouldn't be safe to have one around the house. One stray cough or sneeze and your whole family has got the gay plague.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

You are most correct. I reside at the african nigra factory. I call it a factory, because they breed like vermin here and they are useless as slaves They can't even mow the lawn without burning down the back yard.

Friend, you should see what they do here in the states when big government pays them for not having a job. I've seen them destroy entire cities with fire, and carry off all the electronics and white women.

That being said, the Africans have provided us with an excellent government template in nations like Somalia, where roads depend on philanthropists for maintenance and mercenary armies assure families that they will not be afflicted by witchcraft.

Shines + big government = fire * looting squared

[Harold Law]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

Can't one be purchased at the pet store? I'd hate to dissapoint the boy, i'm sure you can find a veterinarian in the area to give him his shots for a reasonable price.

Best, Harold Law

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

Why not catch one for yourself?

[Paragon of virtue]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

In the time it took you to snap that picture, you probably caught two or three, but you know it's better to throw the small ones back to keep the area populated.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

I told him that (no) thanks to Abe Lincoln, daddys are no longer allowed to buy little baby nigras for their children. He wept bitterly at this, and I tried to soothe him by suggesting a more intelligent and better smelling pet. At this point' he was in a full blown tantrum. I brieflyconsidered caning the boy, for I do love him so, but something stayed my hand. "Look,son", I told him, "nigras are cute when they are young, but those things grow into rip snorting over-sexed bucks in no time at all. Even if secular law allowed me to buy you one, I would never be able to afford its Crack habit."

In spite of the logic of my argument, I immediately began to think of ways I could get my hands on a young nigra. My wife sure could use some extra help in the kitchen, I rationalized....

I considered adopting one, but I can't stomach the thought of a blackie using my surname, even if it is a mere formality. Maybe I should just get him a spider monkey after all...sigh...

I worry that if you did get your young 'un a Nigra it would be like that Michael Jackson with his chimp.

They are fine when they are young but when they get older they become far stronger than people and get very aggressive.

I've seen a documentary where the Nigra or the chimp (I forget which) tore some woman's face off

Why not get something less ferocious and aggressive like one of those charming honey badgers?

YIC

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: My son asked me for a pet nigra for his birthday...

I worry that if you did get your young 'un a Nigra it would be like that Michael Jackson with his chimp.

They are fine when they are young but when they get older they become far stronger than people and get very aggressive.

I've seen a documentary where the Nigra or the chimp (I forget which) tore some woman's face off

Why not get something less ferocious and aggressive like one of those charming honey badgers?

YIC

Good point, Dr. Niles. But I wonder if we can grow the American variety small...Like goldfish or Japanese ladies feet.

Perhaps a worthwhile and fun science experiment we can do at home is to get both a male and female niglet, keep them in separate, small wooden boxes until they stop growing then breed them to see if the pup's growth is stunted....Just an idea.

YIC