Invisible demons=High stress for kids. Coping skills for parents.

[Deaner]

Do you remember when you first told your child about invisible demons; do you remember that look on their face?

My sister's kid took it real bad. I told him about demons when he was four years old and I'll never forget it. He screamed for his life for a couple of days and didn't eat or sleep for weeks. I was starting to think he was queer. One day he was sitting at the kitchen table all pale and shaking and I figured I'd had enough.

I grabbed my gun and I handed it to him. I marched him out to the middle of the field and hollered "There's one behind you boy!" and he wheeled around and fired. It knocked him on his ass but then I said "Get up, get up...there's another one running right at you" and he fired again.

Well after about 30 shots he started coming around. He smiled for the first time in months. He still sleeps with a gun to this day and sometimes shoots it off in the middle of the night; but he's not near as scared as he used to be.

We all know that only a firm faith in Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is the answer; but our children are still sinful and weak in the ways of The Lord. Feel free to post how you handled the demon issue with your children and any problems or solutions.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Invisible demons=High stress for kids. Coping skills for pare

I always just tied them to a chair and put them in a dark room and told them to deal with it.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Invisible demons=High stress for kids. Coping skills for pare

Aw Brother Deaner, you are such a thoughtful and caring Uncle! I wish every child had the opportunity to have an Uncle as wonderful as you.

I'd also like to suggest you give him an aerosol can and a lighter so he can burn those pesky demons.

Helpful, Sister Thumper

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Invisible demons=High stress for kids. Coping skills for pare

I like to share the story of 3,000 dead with the pre-school aged Sunday Bible School kids. You know, the one illustrated in Exodus 32? These are my Sermon notes:

Today I'd like to offer a Bible lesson about the day God ordered His chosen people (jews at the time) to slaughter 3,000 friends and family members. For many of you children out there, you may not be able to comprehend what 3,000 dead actually means....Well, it all started one fine day with Mr. Moses.

It is a story from the long long long ago about the Lost Ten Commandments! Believe it or not, there were two Ten Commandments and the first set was lost and smashed!! Oh no! How could that happen?!

Well, Mr. Moses was coming down Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments that God gave him. Moses heard something and said,


"It is not the sound of victory,

it is not the sound of defeat;

it is the sound of singing that I hear."

( Exodus 32:1-18 )

Before Moses, people were dancing and worshiping a golden statue that they made that looked like a baby cow! ( Exodus 32:19 )

Moses saw this and was as angry as jew without a coupon book and he threw down the Ten Commandments in disgust! Oh no! The Ten Commandments shattered in a million pieces! ( Exodus 32:19 )


Moses lit the golden baby cow statue on fire and then he grounded it into a powder. He mixed the gold dust in with water and forced everyone to drink it! So God's people drank up all the gold dust water!! Yechh!!( Exodus 32:20 )


Moses prayed and talked with his brother, Aaron. Moses then said to everyone,


"Whoever is for God, come to me."


And so the jews who were loyal to God came to Moses. He then said,


"I talked with God and He isn't happy with you! He wants the loyal ones to each get swords and go through our camp and murder your brother, friend, and neighbor since God loves you!"
( Exodus 32:21-28 )


The jews did as commanded and murdered each others' brothers, friends, and neighbors. About 3,000 people died. Mommies, Daddies, Grandpas, Grandmas, little babies and your buddy next door. All cut open and dead. Praise Jesus!


Moses then said,


"Well hey, that's what you get for pissing off God! I'm going to talk to God now and perhaps all the blood shed will make God happier." ( Exodus 32:29-30)



So Moses climbed up Mount Sinai again to talk to God. God said,


"Only 3,000 people dead? Where is the fun in just that? I'm gonna strike them down with a plague!"


And so God struck down His Chosen people with a plague, and He thought it was funny.( Exodus 32:31-35 )

The End! Now go home and destroy any graven images your parents might have in their homes, or else God might tell me to come and slay you tonight.

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[eliot mayfield]

Re: Invisible demons=High stress for kids. Coping skills for pare

I like to tell this tale of two bad sisters From
Ezekiel 23



There were two sisters and they were bad. They committed whoredoms . They did things like Madonna and Brittany. Even like the Olsen twins who sell their underwear!




23:3 And they committed whoredoms in Egypt; they committed whoredoms in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity.
23:4 And the names of them were Aholah the elder, and Aholibah her sister:





We'll just call them the "Ah ah sisters" They were wicked and bad girls.
The first sister was caught in her nakedness. (Britanny and Linsee and the rest should think about this.)
Do you know what happened to her?
The people, the Assyrians, found her showing her whoredom and they:


23:10 These discovered her nakedness: they took her sons and her daughters, and slew her with the sword





Yes, they killed her with a sword! But did her sister learn her lesson? No! She did even more whoredoms!


23:11 And when her sister Aholibah saw this, she was more corrupt in her inordinate love than she, and in her whoredoms more than her sister in her whoredoms.
23:12 She doted upon the Assyrians her neighbours, captains and rulers clothed most gorgeously, horsemen riding upon horses, all of them desirable young men.







No, she was even worse. She was insatisable!


23:19 Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.
23:20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.







This means she was eatting donkey meat and getting white showers. (cough cough)


But she got caught too, just like her sister.


But she was really punished. God doesn't like whoredoms and that's why the Olsen girls, Britanny, and High School Musical are all going to Hell.
First they cutt off her nose and ears!

23:25 And I will set my jealousy against thee, and they shall deal furiously with thee: they shall take away thy nose and thine ears;





Then they took all her clothes and jewerly and made her run around buck naked.




23:26 They shall also strip thee out of thy clothes, and take away thy fair jewels.







Then they drug her naked and gave her to her enemies! (Imagine being thrown naked into a group of Wiccidians!)



23:28 For thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will deliver thee into the hand of them whom thou hatest, into the hand of them from whom thy mind is alienated:
23:29 And they shall deal with thee hatefully, and shall take away all thy labour, and shall leave thee naked and bare: and the nakedness of thy whoredoms shall be discovered, both thy lewdness and thy whoredoms.





Then she had to drink dry a cup and break it open and cut off her mommy pillows with the shards!


23:34 Thou shalt even drink it and suck it out, and thou shalt break the sherds thereof, and pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the Lord GOD.







You think about that next time you want to watch MTV or read a Seventeen Magazine!

[SUV]

Re: Invisible demons=High stress for kids. Coping skills for pare

I was starting to think he was queer.

He probably was

Did you look under his bed to search for robotic Richard Simmonses?

This is the homer!s actual Birth Name: Milton Teagle Richard Simmons. Could any Child grow up with a Name like that and not be gay?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Invisible demons=High stress for kids. Coping skills for pare

I remember when one of my sons, Jehoshaphat, would not come out of the wood-shed where he was hiding to avoid chastisement having earlier been caught wearing clothing of mixed fibers. Now I (and I assume he) both understood that this was akin to the siege of Jerusalem and that I, as God had done, had warned him 5 times, in advance of the abomination of wearing mixed fibers. Alas to no avail. My choice was therefore to stone him or chastise him. I pushed his elder brother, Daniel, into the shed through the skylight and then read the following to them from outside.

De:28:49: The LORD shall bring a nation against thee from far, from the end of the earth, as swift as the eagle flieth; a nation whose tongue thou shalt not understand;
De:28:50: A nation of fierce countenance, which shall not regard the person of the old, nor shew favour to the young:
De:28:51: And he shall eat the fruit of thy cattle, and the fruit of thy land, until thou be destroyed: which also shall not leave thee either corn, wine, or oil, or the increase of thy kine, or flocks of thy sheep, until he have destroyed thee.
De:28:52: And he shall besiege thee in all thy gates, until thy high and fenced walls come down, wherein thou trustedst, throughout all thy land: and he shall besiege thee in all thy gates throughout all thy land, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.
De:28:53: And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee:
De:28:54: So that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave:
De:28:55: So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his children whom he shall eat: because he hath nothing left him in the siege, and in the straitness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee in all thy gates.
De:28:56: The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter,
De:28:57: And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates.
De:28:58: If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD;

I then intended to leave them for 48 hours having ensured that the door could not be opened. However, at the 24 hour mark, screams of, “Aaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaaaa! He’s eating my legs!!!!” came from within. I called Mrs Bathfire and we both smiled for a while before releasing the pair and Daniels’ mouth from Jehoshaphat’s calf. (Not a golden calf!!!)
Ha! Children! I fear that Daniel took verse 54 a little seriously!

Daniel is now progressing well after 13 years in Landover Psychiatric Outpatients’ Department but still constantly mutters, (Jer19:9) And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend in the siege and straitness, wherewith their enemies, and they that seek their lives, shall straiten them.and Jehoshaphat walks with a limp but I have no doubt that the lesson was learned and that neither has suffered unduly.