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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775
    #91
    Re: Jesus Spotting!

    Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
    Thank you, Brother Gonzales, for that picture of Jesus. Our nation does not understand how close we are to Salvation Day. Jesus tries to warn us by showing up but sinners just ignore Him and go on with their sinful lives. Here He was again:


    Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
    Oh, dear. I thought that I was looking at Poseidon or Neptune for a moment--possibly Aquaman or that little redheaded harlot mermaid's father.


    But I have been fasting for a day or so.
    That's interesting, handy. A hungry stomach can play games with the mind. I on the other hand immediately thought of Jesus playing the guitar.




    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • Bubba Buck
        Toilet Biter
        • Sep 2016
        • 273
        #92
        Re: Jesus Spotting!

        Is it worth noting that even at night time Jesus can see what you're doing even when it's dark outside? You can't hide from him. Just look at the moon. To everyone misbehaving having pre-marital sex and drinking alcohol on Sunday nights, he knows.

          Comment

          • Mary Etheldreda
            Gushing for Jesus
             
            • Sep 2011
            • 23775
            #93
            Re: Jesus Spotting!

            Jesus pops into a woman's uterus to say join her unborn babe for an ultrasound picture! Really, the timing is too spectacular to have just been a coincidence! Jesus, having supernatural powers, can get really really small apparently. Fascinating!

            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

              Comment

              • handmaiden
                Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                True Christian™
                • May 2010
                • 11253
                #94
                Re: Jesus Spotting!

                Sister Mary E., please don't take offense, but that figure on the middle left actually creeps me out. It looks kinda like Charlie Manson is staring at the fetus baby.
                His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                Guns For God and the Economy

                  Comment

                  • Mary Etheldreda
                    Gushing for Jesus
                     
                    • Sep 2011
                    • 23775
                    #95
                    Re: Jesus Spotting!

                    Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
                    Sister Mary E., please don't take offense, but that figure on the middle left actually creeps me out. It looks kinda like Charlie Manson is staring at the fetus baby.
                    Mistaking the one for the other has happened before, sister.





                    I wonder if Jesus pre-copied Charles Manson for some hidden reason, the answer to which we must search our hearts to find.
                    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                      Comment

                      • Johny Joe Hold
                        Mayor of Freehold
                         
                        • Feb 2010
                        • 12404
                        #96
                        Re: Jesus Spotting!

                        That sonogram picture is the most powerful proof of Jesus we have ever had. We are so fortunate to have the technology to see Him.

                        After Jesus floated up in ancient times, it has been know he returns for business reasons from time to time. It is possible to catch a vision of him--have your phones ready always.
                        Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                          Comment

                          • Mary Etheldreda
                            Gushing for Jesus
                             
                            • Sep 2011
                            • 23775
                            #97
                            Re: Jesus Spotting!

                            Jesus will never forsake us! He shares reminders of His existence with us in the everyday fruit of an orange...




                            Concrete...




                            exotic vacation resorts...




                            And even bit torrents...

                            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                              Comment

                              • BrotherLarry
                                Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2014
                                • 2248
                                #98
                                Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                As a believer, washed in the precious Blood of Our Savior, I was immediately able to pick out Jesus in the orange, but when I shared this post with a sinful neighbor, he said, "It looks like a white Diana Ross in her younger days." May God have mercy on his soul. The Heavenly King does not in any way resemble a vain negress has been!


                                I was in a Denny's where one of the patrons discovered the image of Jesus in her hash browns. We all knelt by the buttery deliciousness of his form but alas no one thought to take a photo. I wonder if Jesus will place himself in the food to be served at the marriage supper of the Lamb when we arrive on Heaven's shores?
                                Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                                “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                                Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                                Amen and Amen

                                  Comment

                                  • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
                                    An old soul
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Aug 2013
                                    • 4879
                                    #99
                                    Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                    The Lord is watching over real American truck drivers. Safe passage, fellow Christian.


                                    If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                                      Comment

                                      • Mary Etheldreda
                                        Gushing for Jesus
                                         
                                        • Sep 2011
                                        • 23775
                                        #100
                                        Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                        Originally posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
                                        The Lord is watching over real American truck drivers. Safe passage, fellow Christian.


                                        That's absolutely glorious! If I didn't know any better, I'd say it looks like an angel using a leaf blower across the top of that SUV, but that doesn't make any sense. Perhaps this is Jesus giving us a sign that President Trump will be blessed to play more golf soon! No one deserves Rest and Relaxation as much as he does!
                                        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                          Comment

                                          • thomaslopez
                                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                                            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                            • May 2018
                                            • 1
                                            #101
                                            Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                            The author is so attentive to the details, thanks for the shared photos. This forum is a great place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

                                            And I hate Jesus so much it makes my teeth bleed.
                                            Last edited by Dr Laurence Niles; 05-30-2018, 03:38 PM. Reason: Formatting

                                              Comment

                                              • Alan Swallows
                                                Preserving Freehold's dead for Christ's return
                                                • Dec 2015
                                                • 265
                                                #102
                                                Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                                Our dear Lord and Savior was spotted earlier this month in Alabama, walking in the clouds after a storm. The woman who captured the footage can be heard saying, "Look at that whole in that sky. That's who got the power right there!"

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Mary Etheldreda
                                                    Gushing for Jesus
                                                     
                                                    • Sep 2011
                                                    • 23775
                                                    #103
                                                    Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                                    Praise Jesus! It doesn't get much clearer than that!

                                                    \0/
                                                    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Dr. Anthony J. Toole
                                                        An old soul
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • Aug 2013
                                                        • 4879
                                                        #104
                                                        Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                                        More evidence. Or could it be Muhammed?
                                                        Attached Files
                                                        If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Adam Fag
                                                            Unsaved trash, some kind of fag
                                                            • Jan 2012
                                                            • 612
                                                            #105
                                                            Re: Jesus Spotting!

                                                            Or this guy

                                                            Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.

                                                              Comment

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