Landover Baptist, help me!

[Sledge Riprock]

Re: Landover Baptist, help me!

But what if he wants me to submit to an unholy, sinful act? Would I be condemned to hell for not submitting to my husband? Or would I be condemned to hell if I did what God specifically forbids?

Are you being obtuse on purpose? Submit!!! Let him have at you anyway he needs to! His immortal soul is at stake. A MAN'S immortal soul. You are but a woman whose only role is to serve her man. He's doing MEN, committing Abominations because of your squeamishness! SUBMIT!!! And come back here and tell us about it, so that we may comfort you.

Can you believe it? He actually wants to touch me during my unclean time of the month! How ungodly can a man get!

I'm not sure on this one, we may have to ask a Pastor. I'm not so well versed on Unclean-ness. It kind of gives me the willies.!!!

[Talitha]

Re: Landover Baptist, help me!

But what if he wants me to submit to an unholy, sinful act?

Would I be condemned to hell for not submitting to my husband? Or would I be condemned to hell if I did what God specifically forbids?

Can you believe it? He actually wants to touch me during my unclean time of the month! How ungodly can a man get!

You're already condemned to hell dear, just for being a Woman.
Unless of course you just happen to be a faithful True Christian(tm) Triple-Platinum Tither.

[Sister Sarah]

Re: Landover Baptist, help me!

But what if he wants me to submit to an unholy, sinful act?

Would I be condemned to hell for not submitting to my husband? Or would I be condemned to hell if I did what God specifically forbids?

Can you believe it? He actually wants to touch me during my unclean time of the month! How ungodly can a man get!

[Sledge Riprock]

Re: Landover Baptist, help me!

The bible is pretty clear on wives submitting to their husbands.

God did not say:
"Submit to your husband, unless you don't feel like it, or don't like the taste of it, or it makes it hurt to sit down afterwards."

Submission isn't submission unless you don't really want to do it. That is kind of the whole point actually. When God was writing the passages below, he might just as well have said, "Wives, give till it hurts!"

Try "submitting" tonight. And remember to relax. If you tense up, it hurts more. Try thinking of Jesus during your submission, and maybe have something handy to bite down on, like a towel or something.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:21-23

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Colossians 3:17-19

[Sister Sarah]

Re: Landover Baptist, help me!

I don't understand why your husband would do such a thing unless YOU were not submitting to his pleasures. A happy husband is a loyal husband.

Maybe you weren't producing enough little soldiers from your Baby Oven?

No, I submitted to his every whim! Problem is, his requests were sooooo sinful!

First, he wanted to go to a Catholic Church one Sunday! I thank Jesus every day that he made me vomit right onto the priest so they won't let me back into that building!

Then he wanted me to administer to his tallywacker with my mouth! Does Jesus even permit that? I had to go check the Bible before I could say yes or no to that, but while I was looking it up, I actually heard him watching that sinful sodomite show "Will & Grace!" How dare he!

From there, things just got worse! He started watching musicals and took up floral arrangement and interior design as hobbies!

[Talitha]

Re: Landover Baptist, help me!

I don't know what to do about this ungodly situation!

I am married but now my husband has run off to have anal sex with his forno-sodomite-faggot-queer boyfriend! What do I do?

I know the Bible tells me to submit to my husband, but does that mean I am supposed to let him stick his weiner where the sun doesn't shine with other men? Is it possible that if I let him in the back door, maybe he won't need to condemn himself to hell by doing that with other men?

If I can't turn him away from his hellbound ways, is divorce possibly an option in this situation? Or should I simply have him stoned to death so I can remarry a True Christian™ man?

I anxiously await your response!

I don't understand why your husband would do such a thing unless YOU were not submitting to his pleasures. A happy husband is a loyal husband.

Maybe you weren't producing enough little soldiers from your Baby Oven?

[Sister Sarah]

I don't know what to do about this ungodly situation!

I am married but now my husband has run off to have anal sex with his forno-sodomite-faggot-queer boyfriend! What do I do?

I know the Bible tells me to submit to my husband, but does that mean I am supposed to let him stick his weiner where the sun doesn't shine with other men? Is it possible that if I let him in the back door, maybe he won't need to condemn himself to hell by doing that with other men?

If I can't turn him away from his hellbound ways, is divorce possibly an option in this situation? Or should I simply have him stoned to death so I can remarry a True Christian™ man?

I anxiously await your response!