[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Brother FM. I haven’t seen you around lately when I come to Pastor Zeke’s home to clean out his pipes and spit polish his septic tank system. Perhaps it’s time to negotiate more night hours at his home to offset the cost of tithing? I would be wary about tithing less overall, as The Bible is very clear on what would happen otherwise. 2 Corinthians 9:6 shows us that the more we tithe, the more we receive. Perhaps you haven’t been tithing enough which has led to your financial woes? Try outsourcing some of your extra income to Papoff Ministries and see if that fixes your issue. As an ex-nigra I work hard and still tithe what I can in the hopes that I will have the same bountiful blessings as the wonderful white people of Freehold. I expect you to reach that salvation before I do.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

II Thessalonians 2:3-4 Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition; who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the temple of God, shewing himself that he is God.

[James Hutchins]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Don't joo Jesus


Like beggars rummaging though the dumpster behind the Landover Mens Club, looking for half eaten PorterHouse. Then they complain about the food they STOLE and expect special treatment. You want to eat at His Divine Table(tm) expect to pick up the check.


God never asks us for anything more than we can do. So when He says 'Give me 150%', it is His Faith in YOU that you can and will perform. Only the Devil likes a cry baby.

[Didymus Much]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

...Is selling oneself into indentured labor still an option in this country or have the democrats banned it?

Unsure, but it wouldn't really help FM in this case. Yes, he could put that towards this month's tithe, but he can't go selling himself again to pay next month's, can he?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

I'm not merely sitting here drinking my Crystal Champagne (1971), I am actively thinking of solutions: Is selling oneself into indentured labor still an option in this country or have the democrats banned it?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Maybe it's time to let that bank go and declare bankruptcy? If Trump can do it why not you?
Sure, they can dock official over the table wages but not if you have no wages to dock.
Maybe you can find one of those under the table cash jobs like all those illegal immigrants. I'm sure the pastors can come up with some alternative payment methods. You can cheat the IRS and your debtors but not God.

If our dear friend Faith takes out bankruptcy his remaining assets will be taken, sold and the proceeds divided among those to whom he owes money. We at Landover Baptist must use our sharp elbows to be first in line to collect his tithe.

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Oh God, oh God, oh God, as of this morning my bank account is overdrawn, and they are hitting me with a very large overdraft fee.

At this point, any kind donations you all are good enough to send me would first have to get my balance to $0.00 before I could even access any donations on top of that.

Please, please, please send whatever you can.

Please help me, it's been extremely cold these last few nights:

Anomalously cold temperatures grip the San Francisco Bay Area as a slight chance of rain lingers

Maybe it's time to let that bank go and declare bankruptcy? If Trump can do it why not you?


Sure, they can dock official over the table wages but not if you have no wages to dock.


Maybe you can find one of those under the table cash jobs like all those illegal immigrants. I'm sure the pastors can come up with some alternative payment methods. You can cheat the IRS and your debtors but not God.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Oh God, oh God, oh God, as of this morning my bank account is overdrawn, and they are hitting me with a very large overdraft fee.

At this point, any kind donations you all are good enough to send me would first have to get my balance to $0.00 before I could even access any donations on top of that.

Please, please, please send whatever you can.

Please help me, it's been extremely cold these last few nights:

Anomalously cold temperatures grip the San Francisco Bay Area as a slight chance of rain lingers

Have you considered moving? Tithing would still be possible in Euros & Swiss Francs (or Krugerrands if that's more convenient for you) but if you're driving, I'm not sure what road access is like to Greenland. There's a ferry to Iceland and probably something to get you to the Shetlands or Fair Isle. The eastern parts of Svalbard are also looking for new blood, so I've heard. Tithing remains possible there in Krona, no need for anxiety in that respect.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

I'm thinking about launching a GoFundMe to get my car out of the tow yard, but GoFundMe takes fifteen percent of every donation for themselves. Would people be open to sending me their contributions directly?

What do we use as an address? Your license plate?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Oh God, oh God, oh God, as of this morning my bank account is overdrawn, and they are hitting me with a very large overdraft fee.

At this point, any kind donations you all are good enough to send me would first have to get my balance to $0.00 before I could even access any donations on top of that.

Please, please, please send whatever you can.

Please help me, it's been extremely cold these last few nights:

Anomalously cold temperatures grip the San Francisco Bay Area as a slight chance of rain lingers

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

More recently, my car, which I had been living in, was towed and impounded. And I have lost my job.

Therefore, I need to immediately change the amount of my automatic debit for my monthly tithe, in order to prevent my checking account from being overdrawn.

See how things go for a week or so and if, after that time, you are still having difficulties, make an appointment to speak with a Pastor.

*Lu:12:7: But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

That does seem problematic. Have you thought about asking your bank for a personal line of credit or using your credit card for a cash advance? Though the interest rates are steep, that may solve your immediate problem of pending overdraft, then I'm certain sometime in the coming weeks if a pastor deems you deserve the money back you'll get it back.

Who knows, you might even get a nice bonus back for your faith. Pastor Ezekiel has always been a boundless fountain of generosity with those who deserve it.

[Roland]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Would people be open to sending me their contributions directly?

The pastors might do that. I just get whacked over the head for merely showing up. It is not that bad because they tend to miss.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

I'm thinking about launching a GoFundMe to get my car out of the tow yard, but GoFundMe takes fifteen percent of every donation for themselves. Would people be open to sending me their contributions directly?

[Roland]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

Please help! As I'm sure you've heard, I've recently suffered some financial setbacks. The moratorium on evictions that had been in effect during the pandemic expired, and I lost my housing.

as many have faced that, I feel the pain.

More recently, my car, which I had been living in, was towed and impounded.

That sucks. I hope they did not take affront to the ¨Candy¨ sign on the side. Than might land you into some hot water.

Therefore, I need to immediately change the amount of my automatic debit for my monthly tithe, in order to prevent my checking account from being overdrawn.

This problem is easy to solve: Just stay under the radar of the pastors here. They never caught me.

However, when I log into the Web portal for tithing and try to change my monthly tithe amount, after I enter the new amount, I am unable to save the change.

What am I doing wrong?

Please help. I need to fix this within 48 hours to prevent my bank account from being drained.

I am pretty sure both me and Joanna Lytton-Vasey gave differing but viable options to your plight


Kind regards, Roland

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: URGENT: How do I change my tithe amount?

What you're doing wrong is trying to change the amount in the wrong direction. If you log into the tithing "portal", as you call it, and enter an amount higher than before, I think you'll find it saves the change correctly every time.
I hope this helps, dear?

To Faith_Machine, our dear friend and special person in LBC, I hope you have not lost your Bible while living in your car. Dig it out you will find help in 2 Corinthians 9:7, "God loves a cheerful giver."