Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Brothers & Sisters,

As we all know, Obama is working overtime to try to steal this election. He knows that the liberal media is really just lying when saying that he is ahead in the polls, and that when Nov. 4th rolls around, his voters will mysteriously disappear like the phantoms that they are (thank you DieBold for filtering out illegal (liberal) votes ).

What we need to do here is to protect our witness. Our finely-sculpted image is constantly a target for attacks from those who wish to tarnish our finely-polished appearance. As our good friends (if slightly too liberal for our taste) at Rapture Ready have long done, we need to start filtering out the trash here. Obama has mobilized a division of Online Warriors to try to browbeat us Compassionate Conservatives(tm) with a barrage of "fact-filled" debates. What we as Christians need to do is to not allow them to pre-empt our war on liberals and give us the appearance of being 'wrong'. If you suspect someone of being a troll (ie. Rachel Van Hellsinger), please immediately notify a good Pastor (Pastor Zeke is usually the first one we should contact)

Here are some tips for identifying trolls:

1. Disagreement-These trolls like to come in with their so-called "facts" and try to cause disruptions in threads. We cannot allow them to derail our spirited threads on the Ayers connection and why Obama won't release his REAL birth certificate with their nonsense.
2. John 3:16--These liberal "Christians" (if they so-call themselves, I personally have my doubts) like to quote things from the Bible that make their limp-wristed, homo-loving views "biblically correct". We know that the Bible is made up of lots of different verses and that they just choose to ignore the bad-ass verses.
3. Debate--We are not a debate board. Yes, we have our resident master debaters (Wash & Remy), but we aren't here to debate. There is no debate about the fact that we are here to worship God and to support the GOP. These are set-in-stone facts that cannot be changed. If you want to debate these things, go to some fairy-board where they aren't sure what they believe. We are 100% confident in our beliefs and we will not change them, no matter what the so-called "facts" are.
4. Suspicious usernames--If you see some user named something absurdly "patriotic", immediately suspect that they are a troll. Something like "Freedom Defender" or "Beacon of Truth". Trolls try their best to "suck up" to us with names like these. They are often just here to stir up trouble.
5. Posts without Bible verses (missing at least one Old Testament citation)--As we all know, the Bible is our only source of information outside of the GOP talking points. If someone claims that something is "obvious" or "common sense", then we have to suspect that they have been relying on their own brain, and we all know that an over-stimulated brain is the work of Satan.

Please heed these examples and help us keep our board troll and disagreement free!

[Nobar King]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Brother Ernest, that's a fantastic post which I think should be made a sticky!!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Thank you Brother Ernest. Right to the point on this.

I would also like to ask any liberal reading this how can they explain no pro-socialist utterance from Barrack Hussian Obama ever? The complete suppression of any information on Obama’s membership in the American Socialist Party is prouf postive Obama is a socialist.

[The most pathetic dopehead]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

When voting... Vote your conscience and pray before you vote.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Final warning, don't vote for Jewbama.

I wasn't sure whether I should post this, because, like everyone at Landover, I have a high regard for Gods formerly chosen people, the Jewish race. In fact, several of my best professors at Landover Christian University School of Law are Jew lawyers. But it's one thing to like and even admire the Jew for his accomplishments, and another thing entirely to trust one to run our country. So, to put all doubts to rest, here's the photo that proves that Barack Obama is Jewish and, for that reason, not qualified to assume the Presidency of the United States.

Quick note to the Keep Home the Vote Team: With the election just one week away, it's time to turn up the heat on our voter immobilization efforts. Remember, when you make your calls (everyone should have received a list of several thousand phone numbers from your deacons), you need to stick to the script. Ask if they support Obama or McCain. If they say Obama, or they are undecided but sound black, remind them that we are counting on them to vote on Election Day, Wednesday, November 5. Otherwise, remind them to vote on Election Day, Tuesday, November 4. And thanks for your hard work on this--Sarah Palin, her running mate, and Jesus are all counting on you!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Quick note to the Keep Home the Vote Team: With the election just one week away, it's time to turn up the heat on our voter immobilization efforts. Remember, when you make your calls (everyone should have received a list of several thousand phone numbers from your deacons), you need to stick to the script. Ask if they support Obama or McCain. If they say Obama, or they are undecided but sound black, remind them that we are counting on them to vote on Election Day, Wednesday, November 5. Otherwise, remind them to vote on Election Day, Tuesday, November 4. And thanks for your hard work on this--Sarah Palin, her running mate, and Jesus are all counting on you!

Thank you, Brother, for that reminder. As you all know, we Republicans are the defenders of democracy; just consider all of our hard work in defending democracy on the subject of homer "marriage." We need to keep in mind from whom we're defending democracy, and it's not just homers.

[valentin_miro]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Brothers & Sisters,

As we all know, Obama is working overtime to try to steal this election. He knows that the liberal media is really just lying when saying that he is ahead in the polls, and that when Nov. 4th rolls around, his voters will mysteriously disappear like the phantoms that they are (thank you DieBold for filtering out illegal (liberal) votes ).

What we need to do here is to protect our witness. Our finely-sculpted image is constantly a target for attacks from those who wish to tarnish our finely-polished appearance. As our good friends (if slightly too liberal for our taste) at Rapture Ready have long done, we need to start filtering out the trash here. Obama has mobilized a division of Online Warriors to try to browbeat us Compassionate Conservatives™ with a barrage of "fact-filled" debates. What we as Christians need to do is to not allow them to pre-empt our war on liberals and give us the appearance of being 'wrong'. If you suspect someone of being a troll (ie. Rachel Van Hellsinger), please immediately notify a good Pastor (Pastor Zeke is usually the first one we should contact)

Here are some tips for identifying trolls:

1. Disagreement-These trolls like to come in with their so-called "facts" and try to cause disruptions in threads. We cannot allow them to derail our spirited threads on the Ayers connection and why Obama won't release his REAL birth certificate with their nonsense.
2. John 3:16--These liberal "Christians" (if they so-call themselves, I personally have my doubts) like to quote things from the Bible that make their limp-wristed, homo-loving views "biblically correct". We know that the Bible is made up of lots of different verses and that they just choose to ignore the bad-ass verses.
3. Debate--We are not a debate board. Yes, we have our resident master debaters (Wash & Remy), but we aren't here to debate. There is no debate about the fact that we are here to worship God and to support the GOP. These are set-in-stone facts that cannot be changed. If you want to debate these things, go to some fairy-board where they aren't sure what they believe. We are 100% confident in our beliefs and we will not change them, no matter what the so-called "facts" are.
4. Suspicious usernames--If you see some user named something absurdly "patriotic", immediately suspect that they are a troll. Something like "Freedom Defender" or "Beacon of Truth". Trolls try their best to "suck up" to us with names like these. They are often just here to stir up trouble.
5. Posts without Bible verses (missing at least one Old Testament citation)--As we all know, the Bible is our only source of information outside of the GOP talking points. If someone claims that something is "obvious" or "common sense", then we have to suspect that they have been relying on their own brain, and we all know that an over-stimulated brain is the work of Satan.

Please heed these examples and help us keep our board troll and disagreement free!

Only ugly midwestern catholics would think that our current presidency and personal relgion should go hand in hand.

And didnt George W. Bush sneak his way into the elections?
Im surprised that there is so much racism nowadays...
weird.
1. Jesus was jewish. I would know, i was there. Im actually 2009 years old
2. Im the antichrist, and you are meaner than me.
3. The bible was written by a crack whore and her pimp daddy trying to make money. Seriously its just tooo weird. Like the story about cutting off foreskin and touching toes..

yall trippin.

anyways im glad obama won, and now you will all have to suffer as he fixes everything your red neck president did in the name of God. Like blessing a war.

he aint no pope, and this aint to crusade.

[valentin_miro]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Thank you, Brother, for that reminder. As you all know, we Republicans are the defenders of democracy; just consider all of our hard work in defending democracy on the subject of homer "marriage." We need to keep in mind from whom we're defending democracy, and it's not just homers.

Marriage has nothing to do with democracy. Im not sure how you see democracy...because its pretty much just the ability to vote nowadays.

Which you are now trying to surpress by ratting on obama.

In fact you'd probably hate democracy, since people have different ideas than you..

I think you'd like a theocracy, or dictatorship.


But then where would you get your hookers? (The only thing that loves you besides God.)

I personally think if Jesus was around these days he would be screaming:

THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!!


wtf.

[JennyD]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Only ugly midwestern catholics would think that our current presidency and personal relgion should go hand in hand.

Well, we're Baptists. And you're an idiot.

And didnt George W. Bush sneak his way into the elections?

Ah, further proof that you're an idiot.

George W. Bush was nominated in the 2000 Republican primary. Publicly.

He then won the 2000 and 2004 elections. Publicly.

No sneaking.

By the way, he wasn't running for office in 2008.

Im surprised that there is so much racism nowadays...
weird.

Racism?

Let me guess, anyone who doesn't support Osama is automatically racist, even though he's only half-white?

Yes, there are plenty of black folks who say Obama shouldn't be considered black, because he's only half-black. He's "not black enough".

Is that the racism you mean?

1. Jesus was jewish. I would know, i was there. Im actually 2009 years old
2. Im the antichrist, and you are meaner than me.
3. The bible was written by a crack whore and her pimp daddy trying to make money. Seriously its just tooo weird. Like the story about cutting off foreskin and touching toes..

yall trippin.

Sounds like an infraction for you, tard boy. Tell me, are you even 15 yet? You write like a pre-teen. Or a retarded.

anyways im glad obama won, and now you will all have to suffer as he fixes everything your red neck president did in the name of God. Like blessing a war.

he aint no pope, and this aint to crusade.

Maybe you missed it, but Obama is a preaching Christian, who spent 20 years going to a church that doesn't even permit the use of musical instruments in worship. He also not only is continuing, but pledged to expand Bush's Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, directing taxpayer funds straight to churches.

He's against gay marriage, to boot.

Maybe you should try reading a newspaper sometime. Oh, and a remedial English course might help, you inbred gob of trailer trash. (. . . or so I assume, based upon your semi-literate rantings.

[valentin_miro]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Well, we're Baptists. And you're an idiot.

Ah, further proof that you're an idiot.

George W. Bush was nominated in the 2000 Republican primary. Publicly.

He then won the 2000 and 2004 elections. Publicly.

No sneaking.

By the way, he wasn't running for office in 2008.

Racism?

Let me guess, anyone who doesn't support Osama is automatically racist, even though he's only half-white?

Yes, there are plenty of black folks who say Obama shouldn't be considered black, because he's only half-black. He's "not black enough".

Is that the racism you mean?

Sounds like an infraction for you, tard boy. Tell me, are you even 15 yet? You write like a pre-teen. Or a retarded.


Maybe you missed it, but Obama is a preaching Christian, who spent 20 years going to a church that doesn't even permit the use of musical instruments in worship. He also not only is continuing, but pledged to expand Bush's Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, directing taxpayer funds straight to churches.

He's against gay marriage, to boot.

Maybe you should try reading a newspaper sometime. Oh, and a remedial English course might help, you inbred gob of trailer trash. (. . . or so I assume, based upon your semi-literate rantings.

To start, I'm not a cave dwelling Jew. And just because you feel the need to strike up your God-driven courage to use long, "sophisticated" words, that inevitably muddy up and create a "nebulous strand of inconsistent thought" against me, doesn't make you any better than me. Don't act like I'm the one who should be considered an inbred god of trailer trash, when I'm actually the (haha) culturally diverse and open minded individual. All you are is a worthless piece of typical midwestern, KFC eating, conservative white bitch. Í'm not about to spell out every word to perfection, using (...what is a shift button? I've honestly never heard of it.), and trying to create an atmosphere and façade of literacy, just so you wont have something to use against me.

And since when was the internet home to perfect grammar, anyways? It's like the least formal area to voice opinions (hence my sorry, hell-bound ass). If you feel so strongly about grammar, and the importance of its modern day usage, perhaps you should write a term paper, and leave that particular theme out of your retarded comebacks for down to earth people.

Secondly. The only racism i was referring to in Obama's case, is that everyone calls him Jewbama, or blah blah nigger. I frankly don't really care either way, and everyone needs to get past the fact he's the first black president. Whether your racist or not.

Nor did i ever say George W. Bush was running for office in 2008. Like, duh.

Sarah Palin hunts moose. And that has and relates more heavily to the true definition of a troglydyke (hey look, normal people can make dumb puns too!) than I do.

I might as well just delete my account, or await your Harpie peers to reign down upon be with "infractions" (as if i really give a shit), leading to my "demise," and having my account removed.

If you really wanted a "fight," i (oh, God, save me for not hitting the SHIFT button...which for some odd ironic reason you capitalized) i could just go down and say that you were a ...hm whats a pretty long word that you might not know.

But since you posess (look! I'm an inbred, pig monster that cant read for mispelling something) the looks, skin quality, and intellect of an aging librarian from the twenties, i might as well just go out and say...

Since you are so loathing, hateful, and restricted by your religion, no one will ever feel true affection for you. Not to mention you look rather beastly.

And for that, I truly feel a small smigidy sense of regret and prayers for you.

One day i will kill you, and put you out of your misery.

So live a hateful life you ugly trog whore!

P.S.

Yep, im only 16..
So i guess you can tell alot by someone's writing.

[William A]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

To start, I'm not a cave dwelling Jew.

Nothing you have said has led me to believe otherwise.

because you feel the need to strike up your God-driven courage to use long, "sophisticated" words, that inevitably muddy up and create a "nebulous strand of inconsistent thought" against me, doesn't make you any better than me.

God's True Christians are better than everyone else so yes, actually you are inferior.

Don't act like I'm the one who should be considered an inbred god of trailer trash, when I'm actually the (haha) culturally diverse and open minded individual.

Cultural diversity was invented by sin, so go ahead and brag about that all you want. Open minded is also a synonym for "closed to God, open to satan."

All you are is a worthless piece of typical midwestern, KFC eating, conservative white bitch. Í'm not about to spell out every word to perfection, using (...what is a shift button? I've honestly never heard of it.), and trying to create an atmosphere and façade of literacy, just so you wont have something to use against me.

Here you show what you really are (a swine trampling on the pearls these True Christians are trying to give you.)

And since when was the internet home to perfect grammar, anyways? It's like the least formal area to voice opinions (hence my sorry, hell-bound ass). If you feel so strongly about grammar, and the importance of its modern day usage, perhaps you should write a term paper, and leave that particular theme out of your retarded comebacks for down to earth people.

Most of the internet is Godless trash, so that was a horrible comparison to Landover Forums. God cares about our grammar usage, that is why we strive for correct grammar. Why do you hate Jesus?

Secondly. The only racism i was referring to in Obama's case, is that everyone calls him Jewbama, or blah blah nigger. I frankly don't really care either way, and everyone needs to get past the fact he's the first black president. Whether your racist or not. Nor did i ever say George W. Bush was running for office in 2008. Like, duh.

This is too stupid to respond to.

I might as well just delete my account, or await your Harpie peers to reign down upon be with "infractions" (as if i really give a shit), leading to my "demise," and having my account removed.

A good idea. The most intelligent thing you've said so far. Why did you create one in the first place? Is it because you worship satan and want the destruction of the righteous?

If you really wanted a "fight," i (oh, God, save me for not hitting the SHIFT button...which for some odd ironic reason you capitalized) i could just go down and say that you were a ...hm whats a pretty long word that you might not know.

This is starting to sound like the rant of a attention-loving homer-boy. Are you a homer?

But since you posess (look! I'm an inbred, pig monster that cant read for mispelling something) the looks, skin quality, and intellect of an aging librarian from the twenties, i might as well just go out and say...

This doesn't even make sense. Try again.

Since you are so loathing, hateful, and restricted by your religion, no one will ever feel true affection for you. Not to mention you look rather beastly.

How dare you judge one of God's loved that way! Your hate for the truth knows no bounds.

And for that, I truly feel a small smigidy sense of regret and prayers for you.

This doesn't make sense yet again. (No surprise there)

day i will kill you, and put you out of your misery.

I can't wait for the day that God tosses you, like the piece of trash you are, into an eternal, burning lake where you will roast for all eternity.

So live a hateful life you ugly trog whore!

Your immaturity is unlimited isn't it?

P.S.

Yep, im only 16..
So i guess you can tell alot by someone's writing.

Your parents have certainly raised you up for satan. I hope they are proud.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

One day i will kill you, and put you out of your misery.

So live a hateful life you ugly trog whore!

P.S.

Yep, im only 16..
So i guess you can tell alot by someone's writing.

Your threats have been passed along to the DOF, boy. Expect a knock on your door when you least expect it.

Oh, and enjoy hell.

[Nobar King]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

Yep, im only 16..
So i guess you can tell alot by someone's writing.

At least vacuum mirror was able to make one truthful statement on his way out.

[satanwillburn]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

i have a question...how will we know who the antichrist actually is?
i mean i know his mark is supposed to be 666 and computers are to play a big part in tracking everybody who has the mark..but is it a tattoo on your forehead or hand or is it a computer chip...and if you have a tatoo on your body are you doomed to hell with no forgiveness...if obama isnt the antichrist i believe he has a big part into bringing the antichrist into power...some think its going to be one of the popes..please respond to my question thanks a lot your brother in christ... chris

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Alert: Be on the lookout for Obama-bots!

i have a question...how will we know who the antichrist actually is?
i mean i know his mark is supposed to be 666 and computers are to play a big part in tracking everybody who has the mark..but is it a tattoo on your forehead or hand or is it a computer chip...and if you have a tatoo on your body are you doomed to hell with no forgiveness...if obama isnt the antichrist i believe he has a big part into bringing the antichrist into power...some think its going to be one of the popes..please respond to my question thanks a lot your brother in christ... chris

The Antichrist will be the one who is unable to properly capitalize proper names and pronouns and who writes run-on sentences and goes yappity yap yap yap but never makes a coherent point...