[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: A few questions...

I've read the Bible cover to cover to cover many times.

BS. I don't believe it for a second. Naming yourself after a filthy colored boy with a potty mouth, then proclaiming to have read the Bible "many times"? Yeah right.

I was not attempting to imply that God's Word is racist. Rather I know it is not. As the Bible says "There is neither Jew nor Greek" (Galations 3:28) meaning that Jesus cares about our heart, not our nationality.

But it is racist, if by racist you mean "discriminating on the basis of race". The Bible clearly states that black people are to be servants. Look it up. Genesis 9:20-27 And nationality has nothing to do with race. I'm American, but I'm also White. They're two separate things.

[chrisrock]

Re: A few questions...

I did not name myself "chrisrock", another member did that. It really doesn't matter to me if you don't believe I read the Bible, Jesus knows I do and I value His knowledge far more than your opinion.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: A few questions...

I did not name myself "chrisrock", another member did that. It really doesn't matter to me if you don't believe I read the Bible, Jesus knows I do and I value His knowledge far more than your opinion.

You see what the drugs do to you? You're getting paranoid boy. My opinion comes straight from Jesus's knowledge and Jesus knows that it's much harder for a colored boy to be Saved(C) than it is for a normal (White) man. Just look at Africa as compared to Europe or the USA! The vast majority of Americans and (arguably) Europeans are Christian while the vast majority (if not all) Africans worship some god (little "g") named voodoo. What kind of name is that? It's simple True Christian(tm) logic.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A few questions...

I did not name myself "chrisrock", another member did that. It really doesn't matter to me if you don't believe I read the Bible, Jesus knows I do and I value His knowledge far more than your opinion.

Then does that mean that you hate your parents?

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: A few questions...

Dear Brother Rock:

You have not been granted a private mailbox yet, but I posted the recipe I promised on your public messages board.

I know that getting used to our Landover(tm) ways can be new and challenging, and I hope the cookies will help you through this difficult time.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: A few questions...

Look, buddy. I don't care what your name is. I don't care if you've read the Bible a million times or never at all. But you need to realize something. Everything you see posted here is derived from careful study of the Word of God. Everything from science to opinion comes straight from the Bible. If you see it, it's in there and we would be more than happy to point out where, so stop claiming that you know more about the Bible and what God says than we do. I was the same way when I came here, but it was because I was ignorant. I didn't even know what I believed. I called myself a Christian, but did I really know the Bible? No. I only believed what I was taught in church and let me tell you, nobody teaches the entire Bible except Landover Baptist Church. They really opened my eyes to what I believed and I'm so glad they did. They pulled me out of ignorance and showed me the Truth©. My belief has never been more solid.

You've been lied to your entire life. Whatever church you've attended or whoever your Pastor is, I can guarantee you that there are parts of the Bible that they've ignored. Why should that be the case if all of it is God's word? It shouldn't. Every last word of God's law is to be obeyed to the letter and anyone who doesn't is not a True Christian™. So relax a little bit, lose the cocky attitude, and we'll be more than happy to help you sort out fact from fiction. I would personally love to see you come to a full knowledge of the Truth©. We just want to help you.

[chrisrock]

Re: A few questions...

The Aramaic word for "hate" is "sna", which can have several meanings just as many English words. Other meanings of this word are:"to stand straight", "put out a candle or light", "a threshing floor", or "to set to one's side"(which is most likely the intended meaning considering we are to honor our parent's(Exodus 20:12)) With this definition, the whole meaning of the verse changes to "If anyone comes to Me and is not willing to set aside his father and mother...cannot be my disciple.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A few questions...

The Aramaic word for "hate" is "sna", which can have several meanings just as many English words. Other meanings of this word are:"to stand straight", "put out a candle or light", "a threshing floor", or "to set to one's side"(which is most likely the intended meaning considering we are to honor our parent's(Exodus 20:12)) With this definition, the whole meaning of the verse changes to "If anyone comes to Me and is not willing to set aside his father and mother...cannot be my disciple.

And what part of the bible was written in Aramaic?

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: A few questions...

The Aramaic word for "hate" is "sna", which can have several meanings just as many English words. Other meanings of this word are:"to stand straight", "put out a candle or light", "a threshing floor", or "to set to one's side"(which is most likely the intended meaning considering we are to honor our parent's(Exodus 20:12)) With this definition, the whole meaning of the verse changes to "If anyone comes to Me and is not willing to set aside his father and mother...cannot be my disciple.

Reinterpreting the Bible is a sin, boy. I don't need to put my trust in questionably translated Aramaic. I've got a verse right here in plain English that says you better stop this nonsense before Jesus tosses you into Hell.

"Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost." 2 Peter 1:20-21

Jesus is the last person I want to slander.

[JennyD]

Re: A few questions...

First question: I am confused on your position racism. I`ve seen many posts which lead me to believe you hate blacks/African Americans and other posts which say you are against racism. Could you please help me understand this apparant parodox?

Sure! You're an idiot.

I hope this explanation helps.

The Aramaic word for "hate" is . . .

OK, Mr. Rock. You are now insulting the Lord.

You see, He directed King James to produce an English version of His Word. He made sure it was written EXACTLY as He wanted.

Your claim of misinterpretation suggests that God would -- being all-knowing and all-powerful -- knowingly allow His Word to be written down incorrectly, thus allowing BILLIONS to be confused and led into eternal Hellfire.

Just what sort of a sick monster do you think God is, Mr. Rock?

[logician]

Re: A few questions...

falibility is somthing God doesnt know. falibility and failure is 100% accredited to man. man gets greedy, pious, and self righteous and attempts to interpret and write divine messages, and screws it all up. thus man is entirely incapable of producing perfection. when God attempts to work through man, man acts as a filter that strains out perfection, and thus the flaws of the 'human' touch taint all that would be perfect. anything physically produced by man whether it be by divine intervention or whether it just be a corporate production plant, it is in all senses of the word imperfect.

[JennyD]

Re: A few questions...

falibility is somthing God doesnt know. falibility and failure is 100% accredited to man. man gets greedy, pious, and self righteous and attempts to interpret and write divine messages, and screws it all up. thus man is entirely incapable of producing perfection. when God attempts to work through man, man acts as a filter that strains out perfection, and thus the flaws of the 'human' touch taint all that would be perfect. anything physically produced by man whether it be by divine intervention or whether it just be a corporate production plant, it is in all senses of the word imperfect.

If you named yourself "grammarian", would your posts be as devoid of logic as they currently are of any kind of sense?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A few questions...

falibility is somthing God doesnt know.

I suppose you are, in you own falible way, trying to write 'fallibility'.

anything physically produced by man whether it be by divine intervention or whether it just be a corporate production plant, it is in all senses of the word imperfect.

Let's go back to the 'divine intervention' part. If you are transcribing a book on your computer and the author of the book is watching what you type, even YOU couldn't screw it up without getting a kabong upside your noggin. It's like a live wordprocessor with with the power, Glory and Majesty of GOD. Like Open Office compared to MS Word.

[logician]

Re: A few questions...

i understand that this site is a parody, or a type of satire, but conductive to what? if you push people away from a lie such as you do very well, what do you push them to? truth is of a necessity. reality and the understanding of it and control over our own perceptions to create our own reality is vital to the advancement and progression of mankind as a whole. in what way are you producing positive results? pushing the already unbelievers further into disbelief without giving them substance and truth to feed on will only drown them. what is your intent?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A few questions...

i understand that this site is a divine revelation, or a type of satire, but conductive to what? if you push people away from a lie such as you do very well, what do you push them to? truth is of a necessity. reality and the understanding of it and control over our own perceptions to create our own reality is vital to the advancement and progression of mankind as a whole. in what way are you producing positive results? pushing the already unbelievers further into disbelief without giving them substance and truth to feed on will only drown them. what is your intent?

There is no satire here at all. We preach the Bible EXACTLY as it is written, in context, nothing more and nothing less.

If you live in an anthill, you have no perception of a man standing over you with a can of gasoline....you may see a shadow, but you can never grasp the man's intent or capabilities. Just so, many humans think they are the pinnacle of 'evolution', but cannot see JESUS who is no farther from you than a Bible.

We bring His word to those who care to hear it, and do not bother those who do not.