I think I'm beginning to understand

[Just James]

Brothers, I think I am beginning to understand. I found it hard at first and I admit I had many questions.

However, I followed Brother Ezekiel's advice, and I think I may have found the answer.

It is so simple I am embarrassed that I did not see it sooner. If my understanding is correct, the answer to all of my questions is "God did it".

Further questions are unnecessary at this point. If the bible chooses to say why or how God did it, great. But if not, then the reason why is not for us mortals to worry about.

If I take my own questions as an example:

How did Noah get all the animals together? "God did it".

How did Noah keep the peace on the Ark? "It's not explained, it's therefore not important".

[Talitha]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

Brothers, I think I am beginning to understand. I found it hard at first and I admit I had many questions.

However, I followed Brother Ezekiel's advice, and I think I may have found the answer.

It is so simple I am embarrassed that I did not see it sooner. If my understanding is correct, the answer to all of my questions is "God did it".

Further questions are unnecessary at this point. If the bible chooses to say why or how God did it, great. But if not, then the reason why is not for us mortals to worry about.

If I take my own questions as an example:

How did Noah get all the animals together? "God did it".

How did Noah keep the peace on the Ark? "It's not explained, it's therefore not important".

Pretty much correct.

For everything we need to know, God even provided a handy User Guide by way of The Bible. If It's not in The Bible then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
By the way, that is the King James Version Bible

[Just James]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

For everything we need to know, God even provided a handy User Guide by way of The Bible.

Exactly! And to think I had the tenacity to continue to question this guide

Sister Talitha, thank you for your infraction. Without that, perhaps I would not have seen the error of my foolish ways. I pray the Lord will forgive me.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

Brothers, I think I am beginning to understand. I found it hard at first and I admit I had many questions.

However, I followed Brother Ezekiel's advice, and I think I may have found the answer.

It is so simple I am embarrassed that I did not see it sooner. If my understanding is correct, the answer to all of my questions is "God did it".

Further questions are unnecessary at this point. If the bible chooses to say why or how God did it, great. But if not, then the reason why is not for us mortals to worry about.

If I take my own questions as an example:

How did Noah get all the animals together? "God did it".

How did Noah keep the peace on the Ark? "It's not explained, it's therefore not important".

Yes, it's true. Trying to find out why God did something is like trying to understand Sarah Palin's sentence construction or how frogs work. Some things are simply not meant for us to know.

Once you accept that premise; when you realize the answer to every question is "It's God's will" and you don't have to think about it, you can feel the peace of the LORD flowing all around you.

A big step toward finding eternal peace is hitting the PayPal button at the bottom of the page and giving JESUS everything you own. Worldly goods are of no use in Heaven. Help us spread GOD's WORD by making Landover the heir to your real property. We will have one of our JOO lawyers call you to explain how easy it is to secure Salvation™ for your whole family!

Remember, friend: Don't gyp JESUS and He won't gyp you! I, myself am sworn to poverty and am working very hard to achieve it!

Yours in Christ
Pastor Al

[Brother_Percy]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

Brothers, I think I am beginning to understand. I found it hard at first and I admit I had many questions.

However, I followed Brother Ezekiel's advice, and I think I may have found the answer.

It is so simple I am embarrassed that I did not see it sooner. If my understanding is correct, the answer to all of my questions is "God did it".

Further questions are unnecessary at this point. If the bible chooses to say why or how God did it, great. But if not, then the reason why is not for us mortals to worry about.

If I take my own questions as an example:

How did Noah get all the animals together? "God did it".

How did Noah keep the peace on the Ark? "It's not explained, it's therefore not important".

Praise Brother! You're finally learning something! Nothing happens in this World unless it is by the Will of God!

Why did the Tsunami kill all those people?? Because God sent it - presumably to punish all those perverts and heathens in Thailand, for allowing sick fat pedophile buisiness men travel to their Country for the purposes of fornicating with young asian children! Praise Jesus!

Why did those Towel-heads fly those planes into the Twin Towers? Because God made them do it - probably to punish all the sick AIDS-infested sodomites in Manhattan for their evil and degenerate death-style! Shout Glory!

Why did my mommy get Cancer, and die??? Because God wanted her dead! To be honest, kid, she was probably a whore anyway. Good riddance to another Godless piece of garbage! Praise!

The answer to all these questions, and more, is a simple one. It was God's Will! Who are WE to question his Divine Judgement? Glory to God!

Amos 3:6 "Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?"

Romans 1:18 "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness"

Praise!

[Chupa Pito]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

Praise Brother! You're finally learning something! Nothing happens in this World unless it is by the Will of God!

Why did the Tsunami kill all those people?? Because God sent it - presumably to punish all those perverts and heathens in Thailand, for allowing sick fat pedophile buisiness men travel to their Country for the purposes of fornicating with young asian children! Praise Jesus!

Why did those Towel-heads fly those planes into the Twin Towers? Because God made them do it - probably to punish all the sick AIDS-infested sodomites in Manhattan for their evil and degenerate death-style! Shout Glory!

Why did my mommy get Cancer, and die??? Because God wanted her dead! To be honest, kid, she was probably a whore anyway. Good riddance to another Godless piece of garbage! Praise!

The answer to all these questions, and more, is a simple one. It was God's Will! Who are WE to question his Divine Judgement? Glory to God!

Amos 3:6 "Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?"

Romans 1:18 "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness"

Praise!

welcome to the group Brother Ralph.............everything is God's will.

[chris pooch]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

welcome to the group Brother Ralph.............everything is God's will.

So it was God's will for young boys to be raped by priests? Or were they disgusting, heathen altar boys who needed punishment before they could achieve salvation?
As well, if that's the case, then sodomy seems to be a path to salvation! Thanks for clearing that up!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

So it was God's will for young boys to be raped by priests? Or were they disgusting, heathen altar boys who needed punishment before they could achieve salvation?
As well, if that's the case, then sodomy seems to be a path to salvation! Thanks for clearing that up!

That's what SATAN wants you to think. That's why he invented the CAT LICK CHURCH! A den of homers presided over by Ratsinger the Nazi. A nasty bit of work goes on in the Vatican AKA The Gates of Hell!

[William Snodgrass]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

That's why they have all them secret meetings and speak in their secret code language to each other. America would riot if they knew what the Catlicks were up to!

[Nobar King]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

Have you denounced your atheist ways and decided to dedicate yourself to Our Lord?

[Just James]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

Was that question aimed at me, Brother King?

I have, however it seems there are some who doubt me - even amongst the senior members of the Church. This is a source of terrible pain, but we all have our crosses to bear. Praise Jesus!

[Talitha]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

James, can you blame us for having our suspicions about newcomers to our place of Worship?
There are those out there on the Internets who would try and bring us down or are just here to persecute us.
I hope you prove yourself to be worthy of The Truth.

[Just James]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

James, can you blame us for having our suspicions about newcomers to our place of Worship?
There are those out there on the Internets who would try and bring us down or are just here to persecute us.
I hope you prove yourself to be worthy of The Truth.

This, Sister, is where I have the most trouble. While I am well aware that Jesus himself warned his followers that they were likely to face a certain amount of hostility, I really can't imagine why we still do some 2,000 years later. You certainly don't see anyone in the Church harping on about things that happened 2,000 years ago - let bygones be bygones and all that.

It seems a terrible shame that so many people are so blinded by their hatred that they cannot let Jesus into their lives.

[Talitha]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

This, Sister, is where I have the most trouble. While I am well aware that Jesus himself warned his followers that they were likely to face a certain amount of hostility, I really can't imagine why we still do some 2,000 years later. You certainly don't see anyone in the Church harping on about things that happened 2,000 years ago - let bygones be bygones and all that.

It seems a terrible shame that so many people are so blinded by their hatred that they cannot let Jesus into their lives.

Unfortunately they have never felt the euphoria of getting caught by the love of Jesus.
Some folk even come in here thinking they can get away with only making a Loving Donation of $0.01 and thinking Jesus wouldn't know about it.
$0.01 wouldn't even be enough to buy Jesus a new pair of Sandals, even if they were made in a foreign country using child labor.
Let me tell you, Jim; we take a very dim view of those that come here just to persecute True Christians(tm).

You wouldn't do those things to us would you Jim?

[Just James]

Re: I think I'm beginning to understand

Very possibly I would, Sister, however I fear the intention may be misunderstood.

I am in discussion with a nice Nigerian gentleman right now and I need every penny I can spare to help him get some money out of his country. He has promised to pay me handsomely - far more than I could ever spend - and it was my intention to tithe any excess to the church.

I didn't say anything earlier because this gentleman swore me to secrecy - the only reason I'm explaining this now is I know that as True Christians (TM) you'll understand.