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  • Bobby-Joe
    Landover Security Superviser
    Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
    NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 18405
    #1

    Rumor Control: there are no bears in Freehold

    Here we go again. Once more that stupid rumor is going around that a group of powerful Church members are having live bears trucked into Freehold so they can sexually abuse the bears. Come off it people. There is no Bear Rape ring in Freehold. Pastor Zeke has spoken about this several times. It was his committee that disproved this rumor in the first place.

    One more time; one of the pastors had a live black bear from Idaho brought in a few years ago for a sermon about The Bible story about Elisha, nothing more. Now give it a rest everyone.

    As the Church Bulletin explained those kids died in a car accident, not mauled to death by an enraged bear rampaging threw a secret basement animal sex club. Freehold is a good Christian community, not a nest of repressed and twisted sex perverts. I can not believe I have to say this.

    Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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    Tags: freehold iowa, interspecies relations, rummors
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78555
      #2
      Re: Rummor Control: there are no bears in Freehold

      Thank you Brother BJ, for clearing this up once again.

      I'd also like to dispel the rumor that large shipments of Purina Bear Chow(r) have been delivered to my estate. That was something completely different.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Mistress Cookie
          Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
          True Christian™
          • Jul 2008
          • 6790
          #3
          Re: Rumor Control: there are no bears in Freehold

          Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
          I can not believe I have to say this.
          I agree, and think this thread is merely playing into the hysteria our critics are always salavating for. (Is Jean Poole the one that's worried, because there are all those huckleberry bushes around her house and her husband's been taken home to Jesus?)

          One cannot bear a child with a bear...um, that didn't come out right...and the thought that...well, Landover Men just wouldn't...

          I can't even begin to imagine the sickness that hatches these mordidly soul-sick ideas ! ! !

            Comment

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