[Flat Lander]

Re: landover hatred should be illegal

The hippy picture is worse than the gay rainbow one. Hippies are not only gay, but they are also Jesus hating drug addicted Leftist Democrats in league with Satan. Typically communists too.

Thank you Brother Marshall, I appreciate your loving and Christian comments. I know you're trying to help me be a good Christian like you and Brother Avatar and all the other lovely men here.

I think I can explain the whole situation with the hair.

Here in the Moron Church of Latter-day Saints compound they won't let us shave or get a haircut. They say if makes it easier to find us if we escape. Apparently the area that we are in is full of Christians (but probably not the good, loving, caring, thoughtful kind like you, Marshall, and the other sweet-natured people I've met so far at the Landover Baptist Church). From what I understand, the people who live near the Moron Church's compound are the kind of Christians who are judgmental, shallow, mean-spirited, and quick to judge others based on little things like their appearance or body odor. So, the folks who run the compound here, won't let us get haircuts or shave or anything, because if we escape, they know that the local Christians will chase us back to the compound (usually with torches--but never with candles).

So, I'm sorry I don't have the godly appearance that the rest of you have, but I just pray for your continued forbearance for me a wayward cult member who is trying to learn to be a Christian, even though I don't have all the resources or opportunities I might need.

Sending you warm wishes, and appropriate brotherly love,
I remain
your new friend
Flat Lander.

[WWJDnow]

Re: landover hatred should be illegal

No, it's Flat LANDER, not Flat CHESTER. It means that I live in a part of the country where the land is mostly flat. No mountains for miles and miles and miles.

I used to live in Kansas, and I was never interested in prepubescent girls the way you are, Tiffany.

But thanks for coming in here and showing your anti-Evangelical bias. It's good to remind people that bigots like you, who express hatred at every opportunity, still persecute God-frearing, Bible-believing Christians.

[Flat Lander]

Re: landover hatred should be illegal

I used to live in Kansas, and I was never interested in prepubescent girls the way you are, Tiffany.

But thanks for coming in here and showing your anti-Evangelical bias. It's good to remind people that bigots like you, who express hatred at every opportunity, still persecute God-frearing, Bible-believing Christians.

Hello WWJDnow,

Very nice to meet you. I don't know this Tiffany you were talking to, but she doesn't sound like a nice, sweet, charitable, happy, loving, wonderful, true-believing, kind, caring Christian like you and the rest of the fine and wonderful and loving people I've met here at the Landover Baptist Church.

I think it is terrible if she persecutes God-frearing Christians. I assume frearing is a cross between frying and searing, and it sure doesn't seem very nice.

I'm going to be watching out for this Tiffany person and be extra cautious if she has any matches or anything flammable. Thank you ever so much for warning me about her. It is just lovely, lovely, lovely to meet such sweet-natured angels such as yourself here at this Christian meeting place filled with sweet-natured Christians.

I hope God blesses you with something really nice like shredded cheese or salt and vinegar potato chips.

Warmest wishes and please accept all the appropriate brotherly love I have,
Flat Lander

[WWJDnow]

Re: landover hatred should be illegal

I hope God blesses you with something really nice like shredded cheese or salt and vinegar potato chips.

Mmmm, cheese, salt and vinegar. Salt symbolizes living a Biblical life, and also a reminder not to stray from the teachings of the Bible:

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Matthew 5:13

And vinegar is a token of sympathy with the suffering of Christ Jesus:

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Some of them that stood there, when they heard that, said, This man calleth for Elias. And straightway one of them ran, and took a spunge, and filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink. Matthew 27:46-48

And cheese serves as a reminder that we are God's creatures, and He can do with us as He pleases:

Hast thou not poured me out as milk, and curdled me like cheese? Job 10:10

I don't understand. Why is someone like you, who is moved by the Holy Ghost to offer up foods that are symbols of Christianity, so filled with hatred against those who follow the Word of Christ?