Naked Baptist♦

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Sister Verna and I have been having a spirited discussion.
I have taken to strictly adhering to ♦ 1 Samuel 19:24 "And he stripped off his clothes also, and prophesied before Samuel in like manner, and lay down naked all that day and all that night. Wherefore they say, Is Saul also among the prophets?"

I lay around naked all day and night , and then I see if I can prophesie into my little tape recorder. At first Sister Verna was ticked-off when I went on the front porch to smoke a cig' in the buff, but I explained that I looked deeply into the KJV Gideon and my nakedness was OK with scripture. {see ♦Mark 14:51-52 "And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him: And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked", and especially ♦1 Corinthians 12:23 "And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness."

Well, last week we were invited to a neighbor party at the trailer park. I had been attempting to prophesies all day and was quite stymied. I told Sister Verna that I was going to continue my nude quest for inspiration at the party. I told her that maybe it would be OK for her to get naked too, and we should see if the other party folk would like to join in a prayer circle. We arrived at the door in all our abundant comeliness. Some party folk got real upset and left (they were likely jealous of our bestowal of abundant honors). Those that remained were surely impressed and the hostess of the party even got some Bounty paper towels for us to sit on (so we didn't skid mark the couch and chairs).

I am pretty sure that we have gotten some extra people to attend our Wednesday nude prayer meeting. I am looking forward to praying over Tanya Burkemper (the over-developed teenage goth kid) and Sister Verna has invited some nice construction worker who dug out our septic tank.

Here is the problem though. Sister Verna says that she thinks it is OK for men to be spiritually naked, but that womerns that have a few extra pounds on don't' need to get nude, cause the Bible mostly promotes male naked-donomy.

What you all think?

Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
Sister Verna Too {she is drinking a Slimfast}

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Naked Baptist♦

The women should have their heads covered, unless of course they want to shave their heads like letsbemen:

1 Cor. 11:5-6: But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with [her] head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.

I know that a women who covers only her head will look a little strange, at least by the world's standards, but who are we to question God's will?

[A Follower]

Re: Naked Baptist♦

Preaching may be ok, but you should be careful not to let your sons see you in such a state of undress, you'd be forced to curse some of your grandchildren as Noah cursed Ham's son Canaan.

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Re: Naked Baptist♦

Thanks to ya'll for the help!

I want to make this first nude prayer meeting a real success. I am hoping to get some of the oriental girls from the Yang-Tzo Nail Parlor to attend. Sister Verna says I invited too many womerns compared to the amount a men, so I ask the pizza delivery guy to attend and he said OK (and he will bring some pizza too). I have some baseball hats that the womerns can wear, so that they has their heads properly covered. Bald lezbean womerns will not be invited cause they can be fighten' trouble, and they would likely get envious and bothered at the site of real male manhoods.

I am hoping this nude prayer meeting will be a fine example of Biblical pleasure for the Lord. Maybe such a practice could be incorporated into the Landover Baptist Summer Camp--- and the first few years could be officiated by the senior Pastors , and maybe at first it should not be co-ed, and it should focus on the naked spiritual education of younger womerns of the LBC.

Anyways , I plan on doing a little dance with a linen ephod g-string and one shoe on to "break the ice" : ♦2 Samuel 6:14 And David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.
Then I move onto kicking my shoe off and gettin' total naked :
♦ Isaiah 20:2 (KJV) At the same time spake the LORD by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.

Finally I ask that everybody cast their clothes off and come to Jesus.
♦ Mark 10:49-50 (KJV) And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee. And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus.

I will make sure not to let any man see me naked and drunk while I sleep. Just in case he might be some unpaternatized kid of mine: and thus my grandkids would turn out to be Canaan negroes , like Noah's' grankids from Ham did.

Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
Sister Verna Too {she is buying some spray tan at the Dollar General store}

[Serenity-Millennium]

Re: Naked Baptist♦

Oh, AMEN! This is by far the most progressive, and most enlightening, post I've ever seen on Landover! Are you all moving into the modern day at last?

Anyway, as a good Christian and avid Bible reader, I know God LOVES nudity, and wants us to be naked all the time Someday the laws of man which restrict our Godly bodies shall be done away with, I earnestly hope!!!

Christian naturists view the story of the Garden of Eden as a model for their beliefs. When Adam and Eve were created and placed in the garden as a couple by God, they were both naked and "felt no shame". (Genesis 2:25) They see Adam and Eve being in the blameless state that God had intended them to be. God knew that they were naked, as this was how He had created them.

Even before Eve's creation, God had warned Adam "...but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." (Genesis 2:17) Despite God's warning, first Eve, then Adam, eat the forbidden fruit after being persuaded by the devil in the form of a serpent. (Genesis 3:1-6) Upon doing so, they immediately realize that they are naked, and sew fig leaves together as coverings.

Christian naturists note there is no command in the Adam and Eve story, or elsewhere in the Bible, to wear clothing. The making of garments by God was an act of love to protect them from the harsher elements outside of the garden, to which they are being banished. As Genesis 2:25 shows, there was no reason why Adam and Eve should be ashamed of their bodies; only of their sin. The use of animal skins implied that sin requires a blood sacrifice. As Jesus Christ is the blood sacrifice of Christians under the New Testament, there is no need to wear clothes to cover sin. However, God does not forbid clothing, and it may be worn where needed.

There are other references to nudity in the Bible, such as:

1 Samuel 19:24 He (Saul) stripped off his robes and also prophesied in Samuel's presence. He lay that way all that day and night. This is why people say, "Is Saul also among the prophets?"

2 Samuel 6:20-23 As the Ark of the Covenant finally arrives in Jerusalem, King David dances nude within sight of slave girls. For this he is strongly denounced by his wife, Michal. David replies "I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor." The Scripture immediately following adds: "And Michal (daughter of Saul) had no children to the day of her death."

2 Samuel 11 While King David was rebuked by God for his lust of Bathsheba (a married woman), nothing was said about her nude bathing.

Isaiah 20:2 The Lord says to Isaiah: "Take off the sackcloth from your body and the sandals from your feet." And he did so, going around stripped and barefoot.[15]

Micah 1:8a Because of this (Jacob's transgression) I will weep and wail; I will go about barefoot and naked.

Matthew 6:25 and Luke 12:22-23 Then Jesus said to his disciples: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Mark 10:15 and Luke 18:17 (Jesus speaking "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." In most cultures throughout history, small children are not subject to the same standards of dress as the rest of the population, and nudity is not a problem.

Mark 14:51-52 "A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind."

John 19:23-24 Christ, who is sinless, allows Himself to be publicly crucified completely naked on the cross in front of his mother and friends demonstrating that public nudity is not a sin. "When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, ... "Let's not tear [the undergarment]," they said to one another. "Let's decide by lot who will get it...." Many paintings and movies depict Christ's crucifixion with Him wearing a loin cloth, but this is consistent neither with scripture nor with the normal method of a Roman crucifixion.

Revelation 12:1 A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Naked Baptist♦

Are you all moving into the modern day at last?

You must be mistaking us for mormons. We are quite advanced. This forum on the Internet being a nice example of that. But I also got a nice JesPad™ with the latest JesOS™ prototype from Pastor Isaac Peters while the iPad is not even available yet.