Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the iPad

[Cranky Old Man]

I am an old man, but I don't mind my technology. After all it is what grants me access to this great forum.

Apple just announce a nice new computer, the iPad, which can be used to read the Holy Bible in a whole new way. I never owned Apple before but I am most certainly going to get me one of these great devices. It seems Steve Jobs, after being very sick, now finally realized what it is all about and made us a machine which is perfect for reading our KJV1611.

[Nobar King]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

a machine which is perfect for reading our KJV1611.

I don't know, Brother COM, I still think being able to feel the paper and turn the pages is the best. However, I like the styling of the iTablet (that's what I'm going to call it), and it should make looking up passages at www.biblegateway.com easy. I have yet to see how the Landover forum appears on the iTablet, but I suspect that it looks fantastic.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

Apple just announce a nice new computer, the iPad, which can be used to read the Holy Bible in a whole new way.

Oh thank goodness for that -- when I saw the title of your thread announcing the iPad, I thought Mr. Jobs had launched an entirely new generation of menstrual products. If I were a young woman these days, I certainly wouldn't want Mr. Jobs filthy-sounding "touch wheel" scrolling around in my bloomers!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

Hmmmm. I like the idea in theory, but in actual day-to-day use, how sturdy are they and will they hold up to giving a good smacking to a witch, gothic, or sodomite when you're trying to swat the demons out of them?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

Good point, personally I prefer sticks to beat people with but in some cases a Holy Bible is indeed the best to hit someone with.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

Well, I see that we have a new product announcement from the very company whose corporate logo of an apple with a bite taken out of it mocks the Holy Bible (KJV1611) with an implicit invitation to sin.

I did watch the talking snake himself, Steve Jobs, as he paraded his latest temptation to the public. A whopping 10 hour battery life – come on Steve, you’ve been caught before – and I recall there is some instruction in the Bible (KJV1611) about bearing false witness.

This thing (iPad) is nothing more than an overgrown iPhone/iPod, and it doesn't even have a built in camera (or webcam). Our Pastors would not even be able to document the sin and depravity on their field trips. The built in browser does not even have Adobe Flash so no one can watch the latest Landover videos on YouTube.

As for watching movies, there is nothing like Charlton Heston in "The Ten Commandments". This iPad has nothing but a single dinky monaural speaker in it (no stereo) and the sounds of God parting the waters of the Red Sea are going to sound like an enviro-whacko greenpeace water saving toilet flush.

What's an annual Landover witch hunt without GPS – again nothing for the iPad, you have to spend extra money and subscribe to some AT&T service – whose 3G network sucks because they adopted the Europaeon GSM technology (as a way of not contributing to the Godly American profits of Qualcomm and their superior CDMA patents).

I won't even dwell on the lack of a built in USB port, and move on to the lack of an Ethernet port. There are some of us that are leery of what the Obama government is putting out on our wireless Wi-Fi. Americans should be more concerned about Marxist propaganda on PBS than what the Chinese are putting in dog food.

To sum it up, this iPad is degenerate – Apple is once again contributing to a nation of thumb typers that can't punctuate, capitalize or write in complete sentences.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

This is exciting news for those of us at The Vatican who now have yet another fine Apple product to use in our never-ending quest to bring the light of God's love and message to the world.

We have been using Apple products from day one as it is obvious from their very name that they understand the significance of the Bible.

Look at their logo... an apple with a bite out of it. This is clearly a reference to the story of Adam and Eve. What does Microsoft mean in Biblical terms? What about Sun systems (Star worship perhaps?)? Where is Linux in the Bible?

The Bible is not "open source" nor is there room for picking and choosing to configure it the way it suits one's tastes. Apple, like the Bible, is not the cheapest and easiest way... merely God's intended way.



Bless you, my blue screen of death cookie eaters,
Father Mo





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[Wide-Open]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

Hmmmm. I like the idea in theory, but in actual day-to-day use, how sturdy are they and will they hold up to giving a good smacking to a witch, gothic, or sodomite when you're trying to swat the demons out of them?

There are rumours they may come out with a heavier version, the iStoneTablet, exactly for that purpose Sister. Glory!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

I’m against all this new-fangled so-called ‘technology’. The Good Book requires no battery other than faith, which is free and in unlimited supply.

As had been pointed out, KJV1611 is shock-proof but with the power to shock! It is bright, it is portable and flexible (although not in doctrinal matters); it is bound in supple leather and smooth to the touch. The learning curve is nil (Are we not all born with The Word of God inside us?) and even a heathen in a cave can get his head round it. The rest is all artifice and sophistry!

If you want two other reasons not to bother with this piece of frippery, (a) Charles Spurgeon never had one and (b) look above and see that the vicar of Rome thinks it’s a good idea.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

Well to each his own. I am sure I am going to enjoy reading my KJV1611 on my iPad. Seems this old geezer is the least old fashioned person around here . I already beat up one of my sons today because he didn't bring one home yet. He tried to make up some excuses, but I didn't bother to listen to them.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

What's an annual Landover witch hunt without GPS – again nothing for the iPad, you have to spend extra money and subscribe to some AT&T service – whose 3G network sucks because they adopted the Europaeon GSM technology (as a way of not contributing to the Godly American profits of Qualcomm and their superior CDMA patents).

On top of that, Apple and AT&T are two notoriously fag-enabling companies. But work is in progress to port JesOS™ Mobile to a tablet device, so that Brother COM and others can enjoy a demon-free experience in reading God's Word on tablet devices.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

That is very good news!

[satan's favorite holeboy]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

On top of that, Apple and AT&T are two notoriously fag-enabling companies.

It might make you happy to know that Apple is going to be sued for copy write infringement. The iPad was a device made by a jap company years ago, and they are none too pleased with the name of the new Apple product. They had it coming! And its about time if you ask me.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Steve Jobs finaly acknowledges Jesus, KJV1611 iBible on the i

I am certain my new JesPad™ with the latest JesOS™ will have none of these problems. Pastor Isaac Peters has been kind enough to provide me with a prototype. It's amazing design is almost indistinguishable from a stone tablet. I still haven't figured out how to switch it on, but I am sure I will figure it out at some point.