Question about Israel

[Godfly]

Obviously God wants Israel to exist as a State, but there are some things He must be furious about.

1) Israel is full of Jews

2) Israel is not part of the United States of America.

So how do we get the Jews out of Israel without filling it with Muslims and Catholics. We can't even begin to address the issue of the United States annexation of Israel while this problem remains.

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Question about Israel

Finally somebody who shares my opinion. Those liberals want to just let Israel get attacked by its enemies, but the muslims are no better. Like in most conquests, there's three ways to go about this.

1) Force. Launch another crusade.
2) Money. joos can't resist cash, even if it's to buy their homeland.
3) Convert. Send missionaries (armed with godly American tanks and battleships) to convert the joos and muslims (and catholics) in Israel.

[Godfly]

Re: Question about Israel

Finally somebody who shares my opinion. Those liberals want to just let Israel get attacked by its enemies, but the muslims are no better. Like in most conquests, there's three ways to go about this.

1) Force. Launch another crusade.
2) Money. joos can't resist cash, even if it's to buy their homeland.

These are both good Ideas and should be sent to the Office of Sarah Palin for use when she becomes president and then steps aside to let her husband fill the role.

3) Convert. Send missionaries (armed with godly American tanks and battleships) to convert the joos and muslims (and catholics) in Israel.

Converting muslims may be possible, but can you ever really trust the conversion of a Jew?

I would like to take issue with your statement that muslims are no better than Jews. Muslims are bad, there souls are in a towel wrapped hand basket, destination Hell! But as bad as they are mulims did not murder our Lord.

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Question about Israel

That's true, but murdering joos just seems so...used. we don't want to copy the spaniards and germans, do we? besides, the muslims have had it too good for too long. I say we kill both.

Also, watch capitalization. You do not capitalize homersexual or pedophile, so why capitalize joo (note spelling) or muslim or atheist? Capitalization shows respect.

[Godfly]

Re: Question about Israel

That's true, but murdering joos just seems so...used. we don't want to copy the spaniards and germans, do we? besides, the muslims have had it too good for too long. I say we kill both.

Also, watch capitalization. You do not capitalize homersexual or pedophile, so why capitalize joo (note spelling) or muslim or atheist? Capitalization shows respect.

I thought I was immune to the influence of the liberal media, yet here I am capitalizing like my name was Lefty Obama!

You are right of course. Murdering joos has been tried and the result was Israel. If we tried it again they might take over the Republican party. Perhaps we could use the technique that smart fellow in South Carolina suggested for poor people. Of course joos are only poor in the spiritual and moral sense.

[GOD=life]

Re: Question about Israel

As a general guideline, you should always capitalize all references to God and the KJV 1611 Bible.

For certain words, we use a different spelling because the original word is too offensive and painful.

However, certain words may be capitalized if appropriate for other reasons, such as a name. While a lack of capitalization shows disrespect, capitalization by itself does not always mean respect.

[True Disciple]

Re: Question about Israel

About Israel, we don't really have to do anything right now, in fact, we only have to wait. God is first using the joos to drive out the rock-worshiping towelheads, and destroy those ugly temples on the Temple Mount, where God's Temple ought to be.

Once the joos and the mooselimbs are done slaughtering each other, Jesus will return and fling the rest of them into Hell for not believing in Him.

Finally, when all of this is done, Jesus will be together with all True Christians(tm), enjoying life in New Jerusalem forever, untroubled by uncivilized mooselimbs or greedy joos. Wouldn't that be great? Thanks, Jesus!

[Godfly]

Re: Question about Israel

About Israel, we don't really have to do anything right now, in fact, we only have to wait. God is first using the joos to drive out the rock-worshiping towelheads, and destroy those ugly temples on the Temple Mount, where God's Temple ought to be.

Once the joos and the mooselimbs are done slaughtering each other, Jesus will return and fling the rest of them into Hell for not believing in Him.

Finally, when all of this is done, Jesus will be together with all True Christians™, enjoying life in New Jerusalem forever, untroubled by uncivilized mooselimbs or greedy joos. Wouldn't that be great? Thanks, Jesus!

I will sleep better at night knowing this.

[Samuel Coleridge]

Re: Question about Israel

It is a difficult conundrum we find ourselves in the Middle East.

The only solution I can think of is to move the Jewish people out of Israel and officially cede Florida to them.

7 million mostly military trained ethnic minorities, what could possibly go wrong?

In Christ,
Sam

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Question about Israel

It is a difficult conundrum we find ourselves in the Middle East.

The only solution I can think of is to move the Jewish people out of Israel and officially cede Florida to them.

7 million mostly military trained ethnic minorities, what could possibly go wrong?

In Christ,
Sam

Give the joos Florida? I know Florida is filled with homers, but it's still part of the USA. The joos used to be all spread around europe, just put them back. and raise some incentive to get the joos in america to go to europe (or perhaps more specifically france) too.

[Samuel Coleridge]

Re: Question about Israel

Give the joos Florida? I know Florida is filled with homers, but it's still part of the USA. The joos used to be all spread around europe, just put them back. and raise some incentive to get the joos in america to go to europe (or perhaps more specifically france) too.

You do make a good point. Germany should have to take them.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Question about Israel

We True Christians(tm) love and respect Israel because they used to be God's favorite country (America is now) and Jesus used to live there. But we hate the joos because they (temporarily) killed Jesus and they wallow in a wide variety of perversion and sin (taking orders from satan, eating Christian babies, etc).

Our main hope for Israel is that we wake up one morning soon to see FOX News broadcasting the glorious news that a mushroom cloud was seen over Jerusalem. That means that Judgment Day has arrived and Jesus will return with a flaming sword sticking out of His loving mouth, and He'll start sorting out all those vile joos for having (temporarily) killed Him 2,000 + years ago.

Revelations 19:12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.
19:13 And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God.
19:14 And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.
19:15 And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.
19:16 And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.

Shout Glory!!

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Question about Israel

It's really too bad that Israel doesn't have oil. Nevertheless, it's been a useful territory for us over the years, mainly as a military testing ground, and a great market for our weapons. Plus, Mossad has done a superb job of carrying out assassinations that our CIA couldn't do, though lately they've been made somewhat redundant by our new Predator drones with Hellfire missiles. Sorry to lay off the Jew-spooks, but they can probably find work down in Africa.


Predator drone - labor-saving device

All things considered, we still need Israel. When Armageddon starts, it's much better that it happen over there, rather than here. Of course, the Arabs might be able to strike the USA with terrorist attacks, like 9/11 demonstrated, and next time they might have chemical or bio weapons. That's one good reason why my company has located its factories in China - when the smoke of WW III clears, our factories will still be churning out DVD players and salad shooters as if nothing happened. Ditto for dumping US dollars and keeping our gold bars safely in the Cayman Islands, Switzerland and Hong Kong. After all, the best way to show our patriotism is to remain prosperous, even if half the world is a smoking ruin populated by starving scavengers infected by anthrax and smallpox.


Chic Israeli model at fashion show

Meanwhile, we are looking into creating a colony on Mars, just in case things get totally out of control. Surely the CEO class that runs things must be protected at all costs.

Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred

"You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are."
- Groucho Marx in Duck Soup

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Question about Israel

That is true, perhaps it's best if we pretend to give the joos Independence in Israel. I bet Al-Quaeda and HAMAS would be bombing us all the time if there wasn't a convenient jooish punching bag closer. Still, I have faith that God will make His country win WWIII, so I would not trust the company of those chinks in china who worship fat men. And while I have no joo to quote on it, I am sure that the only non-american buildings standing after Armageddon will be the LBC missionary stations

[True Disciple]

Re: Question about Israel

That is true, perhaps it's best if we pretend to give the joos Independence in Israel. I bet Al-Quaeda and HAMAS would be bombing us all the time if there wasn't a convenient jooish punching bag closer. Still, I have faith that God will make His country win WWIII, so I would not trust the company of those chinks in china who worship fat men. And while I have no joo to quote on it, I am sure that the only non-american buildings standing after Armageddon will be the LBC missionary stations

You get it, Brother! The joos serve perfectly well as a punching bag to keep the mooselimbs busy, as well as a sink for all the money of dangerous rich joos in America, who would otherwise spend all this money on their insidious scheme to subvert the American government and found an anti-Christian New World Order!