What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

[Bobby-Joe]

I’m starting to sour on the Glock; yesterday mine went off while we were taking a hippy into custody thanks to its lack of a safety. Freehold Country Sheriffs Department tell me it just involuntary manslaughter so no big thing. Praise Jesus I live in Iowa and not some liberal freak fest like Vermont. Kind of a real pisser to because accidents don't count for the Security Detail body count office poll. (Darn it, Sister Mary's husbands got me up by two)

I did get one of those hold it moment when it occurred to me; Sure, it was some dirty hippy protesting the Freehold sewage plant but heaven forbid next time happens I hit somebody! So I am looking to change handguns. Any recommendations? Maybe I should get the glock exercised for demons? I was looking in my gun safe all night but couldn’t make up my mind.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

The Papal security detail all use Berettas. The 92FS Deluxe Gold is a fine piece of craftsmanship for those who can afford it... like us.

A very safe gun with excellent stopping power and a sense of elegance you would expect from Italian designers. We have a deal with them and can likely wrangle you a decent discount but you cannot purchase the custom Triple V model, as it is strictly for select Catholics. (Vigilance, Victory, Vatican)


I realise you are used to things going off in your hand before you are ready but the Glock will eventually destroy even your callouses... besides, they are so pedestrian.




Bless you, my future bond jumper,
Father Mo

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Beretta's are for sissys and sodomites... no wonder you cathylicks like them.

I've always been partial towards the CZ-75 Automatic myself, brother BJ..
It has 16 rounds of 9x19mm in the clip (that's 1 more than the sissy beretta) and has selective fire; semi-auto or full-auto.
So if needs be, you can rain Jesus wrath down on sinners at the impressive rate of 1000rounds a minute.
Surely a gun that Jesus Himself would approve of.

[Kazoo]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Well, in self-defense circles, the .45 ACP 1911 has a pretty large number of supporters, but I'd say the Glock 21 .45 Auto is probably one of my favorites. Standard magazine capacity of 13 rounds, only 38 oz. loaded, and an American icon to countless law enforcement agencies.

Of course, there's also the Sig Sauer SP 2022 if you're aiming to get away from the Glocks.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Well, in self-defense circles, the .45 ACP 1911 has a pretty large number of supporters,

And it only has a single stack magazine, only 7 bullets..
Not enough when there's a big bunch of sinners in front of you.

A better .45'er would be the Taurus 24/7, 12bullets and a safety. (which BJ seem to want)

but I'd say the Glock 21 .45 Auto is probably one of my favorites. Standard magazine capacity of 13 rounds, only 38 oz. loaded, and an American icon to countless law enforcement agencies.

The 21 is a good gun but..
Bobby-Joe did say he wanted to get away from Glocks didn't he?

Basically because of it's lack of a safety?
Because you see, it's the same with ALL Glocks, sonny.

Of course, there's also the Sig Sauer SP 2022 if you're aiming to get away from the Glocks.

SP's doesn't have any safety either.
He could very well get the same problem there.


So I'm still going to recommend a CZ-75 Automatic for general security use.
Though, I think we need to get with the times more, Bobby-Joe.
Much police nowadays use smg's instead of handguns..
I think security detail should too.

[Talitha]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

For my own personal Security I always carry my pair of Gold-plated Desert-Eagle's.
They are a bit on the heavy side so I tend to wear them in a Thigh Holster.
It's so important for a True Christian™ lady to be able to protect herself these days so a couple of Grenades tucked into the waistband gives added protection whilst not spoiling the profile of a full ankle-length Skirt or Dress.



Apologies for attaching such a revealing picture but It's purely for the benefit of other True Christian™ Ladies.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

I realise you are used to things going off in your hand before you are ready but the Glock will eventually destroy even your callouses... besides, they are so pedestrian

Ahh...classic innuendo.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Ahh...classic innuendo.

And Father Mo's legendary wit and suavity wins the heart of another 13-year-old boy. Jesus weeps.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

I realise you are used to things going off in your hand before you are ready

How many times must we go over this Father Mo? It was purely an accident that the top of my can of pepper spray came off and ended up pointed at those nuns. I am really sorry that two of them ended up temporarily blinded for four days. I mean I though this had been settled.

Ahh...classic innuendo.

What does Mexican food have to do with this? I don’t see what the rest of you see in it, innuendo taste like old shoes, My damn cook keeps on trying to serve it to me as dinner.

[Homertard]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Colt 45. Single Action Army.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Colt 45. Single Action Army.

Thanks for the laugh!
Now, can the people who've never even touched a gun leave the thread?
(Yes I'm talking about you Homerta. )

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Is this a trick question? I have no doubt that our Lord Jesus Christ keeps much more than a handgun under his robes. But I guess a back-up like the Desert Eagle AE-50 would have come in handy to blow away those pesky Jesus killing Jews. And I know that Desert Eagle is made by none other than Jews, but what better lesson than to give them a taste of their own medicine?

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

And Father Mo's legendary wit and suavity wins the heart of another 13-year-old boy. Jesus weeps.

I'm not 13.

[Talitha]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

Is this a trick question? I have no doubt that our Lord Jesus Christ keeps much more than a handgun under his robes. But I guess a back-up like the Desert Eagle AE-50 would have come in handy to blow away those pesky Jesus killing Jews. And I know that Desert Eagle is made by none other than Jews, but what better lesson than to give them a taste of their own medicine?

If they are good enough for Jesus then they're good enough for me

I wonder if he had his Gold plated too?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: What is the best handgun is for Jesus’ work?

I have a Colt .45 SAA and it's good for dispatching injuns, but most Godless heathens don't deserve the honor of being shot with a real American gun. I'd say we buy everyone a Makarov for $80 each and all the ammo they can carry. When they have got rid of enough enemies of Christ, the gun goes in the Mississippi with tens of thousands of other ones. If you dragged that river you'd end up with enough metal to start a new steel mill.