A Complaining Jesus

[Brother Lindh]

Your Jesus did nothing but whine and complain for 30 some years. Not enough wine, not enough fish, not enough disciples, not enough foot oil, too many money changers in the temple, my ass is uncomfortable, too many harlots, the nails are painful, tomb doors too heavy, no one will believe me, blah, blah, blah. No doubt being sired by a ghost and getting squeezed out of a virgin had something to do with it, but come on, the True Prophet™ (PBUH) never complained about anything.

That’s why we’re blowing up your cheaply constructed christian humy veez.

Praise Allah!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

Your Jesus did nothing but whine and complain for 30 some years. Not enough wine, not enough fish, not enough disciples, not enough foot oil, too many money changers in the temple, my ass is uncomfortable, too many harlots, the nails are painful, tomb doors too heavy, no one will believe me, blah, blah, blah. No doubt being sired by a ghost and getting squeezed out of a virgin had something to do with it, but come on, the True Prophet™ (PBUH) never complained about anything.

That’s why we’re blowing up your cheaply constructed christian humy veez.

Praise Allah!

No one knows what "the prophet' (piss be upon him) said, except that, between diddling little girls, he mentioned that everything he heard was from SATAN.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

Your Jesus did nothing but whine and complain for 30 some years. Not enough wine, not enough fish, not enough disciples, not enough foot oil, too many money changers in the temple, my ass is uncomfortable, too many harlots, the nails are painful, tomb doors too heavy, no one will believe me, blah, blah, blah. No doubt being sired by a ghost and getting squeezed out of a virgin had something to do with it, but come on, the True Prophet™ (PBUH) never complained about anything.

That’s why we’re blowing up your cheaply constructed christian humy veez.

Praise Allah!

Your’ TRUE™ dark master tricked you into saying THE TRUTH™ on this one; all that proves is Mohamed was a tool of Satan since Mohamed saw nothing wrong with this world.

[Brother Lindh]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

No one knows what "the prophet' (piss be upon him) said, except that, between diddling little girls, he mentioned that everything he heard was from SATAN.

Your "Security Supervisor" has good reason to be concerned here. Note one thing your Jesus never complained about – being blacker than the coals of your Wyoming. Our Inflatable Jesus works in Khartoum has been producing and shipping the Black Jesus your fat Pastor Deacon Fred is lathered up about (10% discount to your miserable Christian mercenaries in Iraq). Add that to your Sister Dhodi’s planned escape to our olive oil factory in Islamabad and you have the makings of a hijacking of the entire congregation.
Praise Allah!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

Your Jesus did nothing but whine and complain for 30 some years. Not enough wine, not enough fish, not enough disciples, not enough foot oil, too many money changers in the temple, my ass is uncomfortable, too many harlots, the nails are painful, tomb doors too heavy, no one will believe me, blah, blah, blah. No doubt being sired by a ghost and getting squeezed out of a virgin had something to do with it, but come on, the True Prophet™ (PBUH) never complained about anything.

That’s why we’re blowing up your cheaply constructed christian humy veez.

Praise Allah!

WHAT!! Are you trying to compare JESUS with a whiny, shrill, nitpicking Joooo woman?

I hope he smites you right now on the spot!

[lord warrior]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

Your stupid Mohammad came many years after the true savior. He was cooked up by some arab who was to stupid to beleave in Jesus. So they created this false prophet. Given time his crap spread to all the non-white areas of the earth. The kill them all crap of the Koran played well with the ingnorant savages. So now we got all you mooselimbs.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

Your "Security Supervisor" has good reason to be concerned here. Note one thing your Jesus never complained about – being blacker than the coals of your Wyoming.

Jesus is white. It even says so in The Bible.

Our Inflatable Jesus works in Khartoum has been producing and shipping the Black Jesus your fat Pastor Deacon Fred is lathered up about (10% discount to your miserable Christian mercenaries in Iraq).

You're false Jesus is shipping what that has Pastor Deacon Fred upset? Pastor Jeb is the one who runs a the Coca Cola factory so he is the one who takes the gum Arabic shipments.

Add that to your Sister Dhodi’s planned escape to our olive oil factory in Islamabad and you have the makings of a hijacking of the entire congregation.
Praise Allah!

No surprise you have guest workers. We already know that you would never find an actual Arab doing any work in any factory in an Arabic country. All we would need to do to bring the Muslim world to its knees is cut off the supply of Filipino workers.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

Your "Security Supervisor" has good reason to be concerned here. Note one thing your Jesus never complained about – being blacker than the coals of your Wyoming.

Our Inflatable Jesus works in Khartoum has been producing and shipping the Black Jesus your fat Pastor Deacon Fred is lathered up about (10% discount to your miserable Christian mercenaries in Iraq).

Add that to your Sister Dhodi’s planned escape to our olive oil factory in Islamabad and you have the makings of a hijacking of the entire congregation.

You have a lot of nerve, don't you, fabric-head ...

First, as our pastors have explained to you, Jesus is as white as the driven snow or a dove without blemish ...

Second, our GODLY Pastor Deacon Fred is not fat, you sand-crawling fool ...

Third, if 'Sister Dhodi' is supposed to be another misspelled version of my name, see my answer to you HERE!

... so there!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

You have a lot of nerve, don't you, fabric-head ...

First, as our pastors have explained to you, Jesus is as white as the driven snow or a dove without blemish ...

Second, our GODLY Pastor Deacon Fred is not fat, you sand-crawling fool ...

Third, if 'Sister Dhodi' is supposed to be another misspelled version of my name, see my answer to you HERE!

... so there!

What a wonderful, TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) woman! If women can go to Heaven, Noddy will be there to slam the door in the face of Mother Theresa and the 72 muslim virgin camels.

[Brother Lindh]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

You have a lot of nerve, don't you, fabric-head ...

First, as our pastors have explained to you, Jesus is as white as the driven snow or a dove without blemish ...

Second, our GODLY Pastor Deacon Fred is not fat, you sand-crawling fool ...

Third, if 'Sister Dhodi' is supposed to be another misspelled version of my name, see my answer to you HERE!


... so there!

Haa! See what Ali Piss el has said about you? "If women can get into (your slimy) Heaven…". From our tent (after being scrubbed clean and coated with olive oil), you would be vaulted to the higher ethers where you would await the pleasure of the camel drivers.
We offer the best terms in salvation to worn out old hags. None of this nonsense requiring licking the stinky feet of some dried up 2000 year-old black ass rider punched full of holes, blah blah.
Praise Allah!

[Deaner]

Re: A Complaining Jesus

We offer the best terms in salvation to worn out old hags.

You offer salvation to men who screw donkeys and live in mudhuts you idiot. It's not like trying to get into Yale.