[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Rubicon, When you are finished with the expensive training sessions, I know you will want the big cash flow to begin immediately.

I just thought of this. In every community across the U. S. are thousands of people on welfare and disability. They all have a tiny cash flow of payments from government.

It seems like these people are all candidates for starter kits. Now, because they are quite limited financially, we need a method to free up some of their money to buy the kits from you.

I had this idea. What if all of your friends here at LBC clipped and saved the restaurant coupons that come to us in newspapers and phone books. They give $2 off a Big Mac, etc. Then we sent them to you. You, in turn, could sell them to these poor folks and use the money to buy them starter kits.

It seems like it would be helping those who most need the help. Just a thought.

A question Mr. Mayor,
If Brother Rube were wanting to do something charitable to help those needier than himself wouldn't it be better if he were to accept these same coupons for the starter kits instead of cash? Wait, I know you would worry about Brother Rube's diet of Big Macs and 2 for 1 potato chips but that would be a short term issue. As he gets all of these folks set up and running his corner of the pyramid will be increasing in size exponentially! He will also be doing the Lords work by helping others to get started. He will be a diamond member and a diamond in the sky of Jesus.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

(Sent via Greyhound Mobile Interwebs service)

hi brothers and sisters! lot's of great ideas and comments! can't talk much now because its a nickel per charcacter to use. almost home, more later.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

As you are a man with extraordinay taste, Brother Davis, I'm suprised that you want to part with these items.

Of course I would be honored to accept them.

I'll place the bread basket near my Hot Doggery to keep buns at the ready.

The beer bottle holder will be placed in my outdoor shed's wet bar near my Dale Earnhardt poster.

Brother Tannor just a note to let you know I put the package in the mail and it should arrive soon. I have an added surprise for you too, I found the third part of the set and I just can't imagine breaking the set. I sent the chip and dip server too. Enjoy!
I also sent you a picture of my favorite Jackolope, I stuffed him when I was only 14, not a bad job huh? I do miss my hobbies, living on the road as I do.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

A question Mr. Mayor,
If Brother Rube were wanting to do something charitable to help those needier than himself wouldn't it be better if he were to accept these same coupons for the starter kits instead of cash? Wait, I know you would worry about Brother Rube's diet of Big Macs and 2 for 1 potato chips but that would be a short term issue.

You may be correct, Brother Benedict. I'm just thinking was that a cash flow is more important than a flow of Big Macs that he cannot eat nor sell.

Say we sent him 1,000 coupons, $2 off each Big Mac, he sold them for $1 each, he has $500 for starter kits. Then, those with the starter kits sell kits to others and he gets a piece of each--its time to order the Learjet.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

You may be correct, Brother Benedict. I'm just thinking was that a cash flow is more important than a flow of Big Macs that he cannot eat nor sell.

Say we sent him 1,000 coupons, $2 off each Big Mac, he sold them for $1 each, he has $500 for starter kits. Then, those with the starter kits sell kits to others and he gets a piece of each--its time to order the Learjet.

Thank you for Explaining the ''bigger picture'' and I believe many manufacturers will pay 1/10 cent on the dollar, coupon value if sold back by a charity, in case he is ever stuck with large amounts of coupons folks are not interested in. Like when McDonalds tried that Vegan McSamwich, there must be millions in unused coupons for those floating around.

[HTannor]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

I do miss my hobbies, living on the road as I do.

Brother Davis, I don't know how I can thank you enough for your generosity. I'll display them proudly and be the envy of the trailer park.

Wait! I think I do know how to repay you.

You say you're living on the road now. In that great big luxurious RV, right?

Tthe next time you travel through Freehold, drop by the trailer park and I think I can get you fixed up with my lady friend, Dotty's, twin sister, Dolly. They're a real pair of hlookers and the thought of double dating in a fancy motor home sounds like a good time.

Dotty and Dolly are well known here in the park for showing a real good time to whoever shows up at their door. That's how I first met them.

I was delivering papers on my moped and had a flat tire right at their front step. I asked to use their phone to call AAA. They invited me in and when I woke up 72 hours later I was curled up underneath their big screen. The movie on the tube was something about some sort of "Throat." I think it dealt with examining tonsils or something.

When I left I found a brand new tire on the moped. Dotty winked and called it an even swap because I was "so much fun."

I still can't explain how I could have lost ten pounds just sleeping under the TV. I must have been sweating a lot.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Tannor please meet me here so we don't hijack this thread.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother, I'm so sorry you couldn't take Widow Helen instead. She always dresses so professionally!

I did try to get a better photo, for hours. She kept dodging me! I finally cornered her in the kitchen, and her reaction to my cell phone camera was just priceless!



Don't worry, she was just serving up some Jell-O. That Helen, she's such a card!

Once you get rid of Cokefiend . . . I mean, Jolene, let me know if you'd like Widow Helen to join you at the next Business event.

Praise Christ Reverend Rodimer!

Um... Helen...Not sure just yet. I mean if she gets THAT angry serving gelatin, I'd hate to see her when I have to take my belt to her for opening her mouth before she is told to speak.

But she is worth consideration after the catastrophe named Jolene. Since I signed the receipt on her room, the Boise cops detained ME after they found coke in her room. After they searched my room and determined that the yellow crumbs on my nightstand were cornbread from last night and not crack, they finally let me go. But they told me not to ever return to Boise.

Not an easy choice... conviction and prison time for felony quantity narcotics with Jolene or disembowlment in my sleep with Helen. You will understand if I need to sleep on it?

In Christ!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

First of all, I'd like to praise Brother Rubicon for his free market spirit. Investing his life's savings plus whatever he can borrow with a high-interest credit card was certainly a wise move, and I hope that the rest of you True Christians here on LBC will follow his fine example.

Now, perhaps some of you might be just a tad suspicious. I mean, why would a corporate CEO like me - who owns a zillion shares of stock in hyper-marts - welcome competition from a shrewd businessman like Brother Rubicon? Shouldn't I be worried that within a matter of weeks, America's shopping malls will be empty as smart shoppers flock to home distributors like Brother Rubicon?

In fact, I'm not worried at all. Indeed, I welcome the competition. That's the beauty of the capitalist system - it's win-win all the way. As Brother Rubicon and his Christian distributors become rich, the wealth just spreads onward, outward and upward, into my pockets even as your balance sheet spirals downwards. As the great economist Ronald Reagan once said, that's the "magic of the marketplace." Or as they say at the Wall Street Journal, "a rising tide lifts all boats" - especially yachts.

Just one little thing I'd like to address - quality. Some of you have wondered if it's worth the high prices that Brother Rubicon charges. Well, let me assure you that it is! OK, it is true that pretty much everything sold in America comes from the exact same factories in China that make our hyper-mart stuff. Indeed, the exact same factory that makes our Ol'Roy dog food also makes our Great Value Fruity Puffs breakfast cereal, but we do add nice colors to the cereal (after all, dogs are colorblind, so why waste money on food coloring for them?).

But I assure you that these are quality products. To ensure that Fido and Grandma both have a shiny coat, the ingredients in the dogfood and cereal are entirely the same, right down to the melamine flavoring.

But the key difference here is the packaging, and that's where Brother Rubicon has a competitive advantage. If you buy your dogfood/cereal from him, you really get nicer packaging. You have to realize that in a supermarket, shelf space is at a premium and we can't afford to waste it, so we keep the packaging to a minimum. However, when you buy from Brother Rubicon's garage, it's not an issue - therefore, his products come with thicker plastic wrappers, lots of styrofoam balls, and 50% more air.

Another advantage of buying from Brother Rubicon is that you get the very latest products - especially experimental ones. For example, when food manufacturers want to try out a new chemical, they test it first on rats, then on Chinese prisoners, and finally on the American public. However, sometimes it turns out that there are some children who are allergic, and this might not affect either the rats or the prisoners (most of whom are adults). Therefore, we do have occasional product recalls, and as you can imagine that's expensive, plus big stores are more likely to get sued than little mom-and-pop businesses. That's why it's much more cost effective to let small distributors like Brother Rube test out gummi bears first to see if the product causes cancer or causes kids to choke. In fact, doing small scale tests on kids this way can even allow us eliminate the expense of testing on rats.

In summation, I just want to offer my hearty congratulations to Brother Rubicon, and all the other small business investors here on LBC. You're the salt of the Earth, the growing army of entrepreneurs who equate capitalism with religion. It's small businessmen like yourselves who have made America what it is today - a paradise for big business.

Bless you in Christ Brother Fred!

I encounter so many naysayers in this business. It is refreshing to find someone who understands the value of "The Business" and our products.

First, it is very much like McDonalds. It's a franchise opportunity just like Ray Kroc offered. How many of THOSE have failed?

Second, "The Company" has a VERY high DNB rating (only business people know what that means!)

Our products are of exceptional quality. More important, most of them are CONCENTRATED, so it's like getting 20:1 value add over inferior products on the retail shelves.

95 percent of "losers" that work for "other people" rather than themselves have a 75 percent chance of going broke!

The only ones that have failed at this business are those that were too lazy to dedicate 120 hours per week "showing the plan". What do they expect??

So good to hear from another "businessman" that understands just how business works.

I was able to buy a few images from the DreamBuilding session for only $75 each. I am pumped up and will have ALL of these within a year!

In Christ!

[James Dewitt]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Rube. not to many people know this, many years ago I started with a single idea. I purchased a hot dog cart. Over the years it grew to 15,000 carts in 5 cities. 5 years a go I purchased the Hot dog factory. I cut out the middle man alltoghter. I clear $1.00 proffit from a single hot dog. Each cart servers about 1,000 dogs a day. My factory makes all my dogs and about 3 million pounds per month that I supply to stores on the east coast. All from a single hot dog cart. I have also ventured into mining, oil exploration, shipping, manufacturing, and the textile industry. But it all started with one hot dog cart.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Rube. not to many people know this, many years ago I started with a single idea. I purchased a hot dog cart. Over the years it grew to 15,000 carts in 5 cities. 5 years a go I purchased the Hot dog factory. I cut out the middle man altogether. I clear $1.00 profit from a single hot dog. Each cart servers about 1,000 dogs a day. My factory makes all my dogs and about 3 million pounds per month that I supply to stores on the east coast. All from a single hot dog cart. I have also ventured into mining, oil exploration, shipping, manufacturing, and the textile industry. But it all started with one hot dog cart.

Is Mari Leedy one of yours?

Oh and Ruby I am watching your adventure with great interest.

[HTannor]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Private message for Brother Rubicon.

NO OTHERS MAY READ THIS!!!

I just noticed the Pira...(you know who I mean) has posted a message saying he is following your business venture with some interest.

There are those that would say he's laying in wait for your first score. You know, the one that breaks you away from the pack, stuns your upline, and has Gulfstream sales agents knocking on your door.

However, I think the Pir.....(he that shall not be named) may be a real blessing in disguise. Here I'm thinking he associates with all sorts of people that you would normally avoid - rapists, pillagers, plunderers, and Democrats.

We all know most of them could use a good bath and bit of cleaning up. Here's where you come in:

When the Pi......(wink, wink, nudge, nudge) calls you, tell him you have an amazing opportunity to present him. Tell him he needs to bring his entire crew with him (you'll have to rent a small banquet room at the LBC Hilton) so they can all see for themselves a new life. A new way of conquering the world. A life free of the long arm of the Coast Guard.

Explain the benefits of "the product line." How the laundry soap gets blood out of their sashes. How the personal hygiene products will have the wenches following them down the side alleys in the docks. How the silicone-based lubricants work miracles on a blunderbus's inner mechanisms.

Imagine, if you will, Rubicon, a boatload of "the product line" plying the cities along the Barbary Coast. Imagine as the ship moves out of port leaving a sqeaky clean city behind it. Imagine the new downline converts in those cities speading to all points of the compass bringing the "message" to the unwashed masses.

You'll laugh at the Gulfstream hacks and wait for a personal call from the CEO of Airbus. There won't be an Escalade worthy of your consideration. Complain to the President of Rolls Royce about the liver-spot on the leather beneath the gas pedal.

So, Brother Rubicon, consider carefully the opportunity presented by the P...(you know), as it could be a real find for you.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Rube. not to many people know this, many years ago I started with a single idea. I purchased a hot dog cart. Over the years it grew to 15,000 carts in 5 cities. 5 years a go I purchased the Hot dog factory. I cut out the middle man alltoghter. I clear $1.00 proffit from a single hot dog. Each cart servers about 1,000 dogs a day. My factory makes all my dogs and about 3 million pounds per month that I supply to stores on the east coast. All from a single hot dog cart. I have also ventured into mining, oil exploration, shipping, manufacturing, and the textile industry. But it all started with one hot dog cart.

Thank you Brother James. But I ran your idea past my upline and was lectured for a full hour on how it was absolutely unacceptable.

It went something like this:

Your friend is simply jealous. He had to struggle with wieners for years and years just to achieve a fraction of what you will have within a few months. Do McDonalds franchise owners sell trinkets on the counter along with their hamburgers or do they focus on their core competency and the business they KNOW and do so well in? Why would you distract yourself and your business with such foolishness??

You see my friend, success in this business is optional, but so is failure! It's all a matter of how truly motivated you are to approach complete strangers on the street corners and motivate THEM. The only way you can help yourself in this business is by helping others achieve the dream too!

Dream BIG! Believe in youself! Show the plan! Think success!

Look, two weeks ago you were driving a garbage truck for the city, knew nothing about "The Business" and didn't even know how to knot a tie. But look at you now! Shiny black Rayon suit, polyester ties, imitation alligator wing tips and a Quartz level distributorship! Sure, you only have that one addict in your downline, but give it a chance! Rome wasn't built in a day!

Anyway, in this business you will quickly find out who your REAL friends are! Don't listen to naysayers or those that are jealous because they never had this golden opportunity!

Listen, I read in the paper that Mrs. Phelps down the street from you lost her husband yesterday. Call her and console her in Christ, but never forget that EVERYONE is a prospect. Don't hang up before you at least mention "The Business".

And have I told you about the "Grab The Brass Ring" seminar next weekend?

So thank you Brother, but in this business, I have to always follow the advice from my upline.

In Christ!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Private message for Brother Rubicon.

NO OTHERS MAY READ THIS!!!

I just noticed the Pira...(you know who I mean) has posted a message saying he is following your business venture with some interest.

There are those that would say he's laying in wait for your first score. You know, the one that breaks you away from the pack, stuns your upline, and has Gulfstream sales agents knocking on your door.

However, I think the Pir.....(he that shall not be named) may be a real blessing in disguise. Here I'm thinking he associates with all sorts of people that you would normally avoid - rapists, pillagers, plunderers, and Democrats.

We all know most of them could use a good bath and bit of cleaning up. Here's where you come in:

When the Pi......(wink, wink, nudge, nudge) calls you, tell him you have an amazing opportunity to present him. Tell him he needs to bring his entire crew with him (you'll have to rent a small banquet room at the LBC Hilton) so they can all see for themselves a new life. A new way of conquering the world. A life free of the long arm of the Coast Guard.

Explain the benefits of "the product line." How the laundry soap gets blood out of their sashes. How the personal hygiene products will have the wenches following them down the side alleys in the docks. How the silicone-based lubricants work miracles on a blunderbus's inner mechanisms.

Imagine, if you will, Rubicon, a boatload of "the product line" plying the cities along the Barbary Coast. Imagine as the ship moves out of port leaving a sqeaky clean city behind it. Imagine the new downline converts in those cities speading to all points of the compass bringing the "message" to the unwashed masses.

You'll laugh at the Gulfstream hacks and wait for a personal call from the CEO of Airbus. There won't be an Escalade worthy of your consideration. Complain to the President of Rolls Royce about the liver-spot on the leather beneath the gas pedal.

So, Brother Rubicon, consider carefully the opportunity presented by the P...(you know), as it could be a real find for you.

As always Brother Tannor, I thank and praise Jesus Christ for your ability to constantly "think outside the box" in helping me grow my business!

It is indeed a certainty that I will not have to fuss around with simple Gulfstreams, Lears, Bombardiers or Falcons. Reverend Jim saw "The Plan" the other night and offered me a 50 percent interest in his 747-400 in exchange for one of my "Business Startup Kits". I love the man as my mentor in Christ, but nonetheless said "Yeah right!" Who does he think he is dealing with here? I'm from Texas and this is NOT my first rodeo.

About the pastarastafarian noodle boy... I don't know yet. I need prayer and consultation with my upline. This is a Christ-centered business.

Can't see that a simpleton so obsessed with macaroni could ever be a real businessman. But am more than willing to open the distribution channel to retail our products to him and those below him that are obviously much more intelligent. We DO have an excellent stain remover for marinara sauce...

You understand this business is only open to certain people? Anyone in my downline MUST be Christian!

In Christ!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Praise Christ Reverend Rodimer!

Um... Helen...Not sure just yet. I mean if she gets THAT angry serving gelatin, I'd hate to see her when I have to take my belt to her for opening her mouth before she is told to speak.

Oh, Brother Rubicon, you misunderstand. She was annoyed at me for cornering her with my cell phone camera, and jokingly threatening me with her Jello-covered serving spatula.

Dear Helen would NEVER disembowel a True Christian(tm), True Heterosexual(tm) businessman of your caliber!