[self_abusing_sinner]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

Since I am a Truer Christian(tm) I beat all of you and automatically become Man of the Year in Freehold. Now bring me some fourteen-year-olds so I can celebrate my win in true Baptist style.

sas, Truer Christian(tm)

ps. If you say that my 'Truer Christian(tm)' doesn't mean anything I say the same about yours.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

Have I won yet?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

Have I won yet?

You are as eligible as I Zekie Boy.

[handmaiden]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

My support must be extended to Cranky Old Man, who single-handedly took on most of northern Europe. He stood as a bullwark against the invasion on Danes and those other folks from the falafel islands. Thanks to him, we are not only viking-free; we are viking-feared. They know now not to come sailing over to Freehold and perform indecent acts with goats in front of our children.

Hurray for COM!

Supportively Yours,

Handmaiden

[HTannor]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

Brother Tannor, forgive me if I'm mistaken, but I seem to recall when I was last in Freehold seeing a news article about the Great Jenkem Flats crime spree. The trailer park you manage was at the epicenter, yet strangely crime-free.

How ever do you manage to preserve that oasis of tranquility? It's as though all the criminals in Jenkem Flats live right adjacent to your park, and commit crimes only within walking distance!

Surely keeping them out is quite the accomplishment . . . even if one junkie (Jolene) managed to infiltrate your Eden on Axles.

Ah, my good Rev.

Your memory serves you well. There was a crime spree that somehow circumvented our trailer park.

With my natural modesty, I avoid taking too much credit for keeping the park a small island of peacefulness in a sea of unpleasantness.

There are others who should share the spotlight:

In my official capacity as manager, I have awarded Jolene exclusive rights to cough medicine production. She is charged with tightly controlling the delicious nectar and keeping it out of the hands of the trailer trash in the area.

Dotty and Dolly are constantly on patrol and when encountering anyone suspicious, make sure an intense counseling session renders the poor devil so exhausted he can barely stand, let alone have evil thoughts.

Roger, our resident quadriplegic, has night patrol duty. He clutches a flashlight in his teeth and I have personally watched while he beat a bad guy senseless. Roger's neck muscles are something to behold.

Whenever I encounter a suspicious person I usually make them an offer they can't refuse. They tend to quickly leave the area.

While it is true that some of the youngsters here in the park affectionately call me "godfather", I prefer they call me Uncle Tanny, but what can one do with kids? They really are rather well mannered around me and I credit their parents with treating them to show proper respect while in my presence.

So, I thank you, Rev. Rodimer, for your kind comments.

I would welcome your support in my quest to become "Freehold Man of the Year" and perhaps someday if you have some nagging little problem, I can see to making it go away.


Ciao

[Sister Charli]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

Ponderance of thy Balls(The Official Pastafarian Prayerbook)

You seem rather preoccupied with your noodle and your balls .... I have noticed.

[Lisa H]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

You seem rather preoccupied with your noodle and your balls .... I have noticed.

Please don't get him started. He will most likely want to start touching things with his noodle.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

You seem rather preoccupied with your noodle and your balls .... I have noticed.

God chose to represent Himself as a being that consists partly of, what appear to us mere humans as, Noodles and Meatballs. Who are we to question the choices God makes?

[self_abusing_sinner]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

New rule, because Christ requires us to be meek and humble, those that nominate themselves from now on - and also a little retroactively - are automatically disqualified. Let's see some true gentlemanly behaviour in here what say you?

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

New rule, because Christ requires us to be meek and humble, those that nominate themselves from now on - and also a little retroactively - are automatically disqualified. Let's see some true gentlemanly behaviour in here what say you?

Who are you to set rules? Do you live in Freehold? Are you a True Christian(TM)?

Personally I would like to nominate Brother Dewitt for his Christian friendship and help with my moving to Iowa.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

Who are you to set rules? Do you live in Freehold? Are you a True Christian™?

Personally I would like to nominate Brother Dewitt for his Christian friendship and help with my moving to Iowa.

Brother Seth you are to kind, I will help any of my brothers and sisters.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

I would like to nominate a man that epitomizes what a being True Christian™ is all about.


A man that fully understands the sanctity of marriage, a man who is a quiet achiever, who is a doer rather than a talker.

A man whose innovative and effective techniques on achieving and maintaining a long and happy marriage have earned him respect and admiration from all in Freehold and even all the way over here in Australia

A man who concisely summarised the True Christian™ ideals in the below quote:

Atheism is nothing but an excuse for anal sex. There is no other reason for anal sex than atheism, and no other reason for atheism than anal sex

That man is Billy Bob Jenkins and I enthusiastically nominate him

[HTannor]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

All the nominees (you know who you are) so far have character flaws making them questionable
for the title being bestowed.

Yes, even I am not flawless what with my weakness for Jolene's cough medicine. But that's the only flaw
I have and I do not consume more than a gallon a day of this wonderful nectar.

There, I've said it, I fully expect the other nominees to step forward and admit their weaknesses.

The least weak among us should be named to this high honor.

[Lisa H]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

I have had such a hard time thinking of just one person to nominate. Everyone has such redeeming qualities and to pick one is so hard.

I would like to nominate Billy Bob. With all the problems he has endured since the time I have been here, he still makes time to spend with us.

[self_abusing_sinner]

Re: Nominations for Freehold Man of the Year

If someone here is better than others, morally speaking, how can you all be True Christians(tm) then? Does the KJV say anything about this?

God bless,

sas