[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China ?

Everybody won.

[Paul Jeffery]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' His son asked, 'What happened to the flea?'

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

cranky old ladies

Can you please leave my wife out of this? Thank you.

[Forest Spirit]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

This reminds me of you cranky old ladies:

BANNED FROM THE CO-OP


Yesterday I was at my local

CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet

and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked

if I had a dog.



What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm

retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that

no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet

again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I

ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2

stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming

out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.



I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that

the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina

nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel

hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well

and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here

that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with

my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in

intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her

no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's bum

and a car hit us both.



I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart

attack he was laughing so hard.



I'm now banned from the Co-op.

[Collective Judas]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Things You Never Hear In Church

1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes overtime.

3. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

6. Forget the denominational minimum salary; let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before.

8. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign.