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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708
    #1

    CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

    Baaa haaaa haaaaa! Here is an angry tard looking at his Mother.

    Write the Best Caption. The winner will recieve your choice of a Pink Paris Hilton KJV1611 Bible or a semi-automatic Bushmaster AR-15, 5.56 MM NATO Rifle.

    Remember, all tards are Hellbound!

    Lve, Sister Thumper
    Attached Files
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    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

      "Mommy, you have wax in your ear. Can I have it?"
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • eliot mayfield
          God Squad
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 9324
          #3
          Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

          Mommy, why did you hate God so I came out like this?
          Matthew:
          5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
          5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
          10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
          10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


          sigpic

            Comment

            • Brother V
              True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 3481
              #4
              Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

              "Please, don't make me go back to walmart"
              Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

                Comment

                • Andrew Barrick
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 93
                  #5
                  Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                  "What's that white stuff on the corner of your mouth?"

                    Comment

                    • Father Maurice Lester
                      Ring-kissing Papist dog
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 3366
                      #6
                      Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                      "So Pastor Al is my real father?"




                      Bless you, my cruel Baptwits,
                      Father Mo


                      A Cardinal in the making.

                        Comment

                        • Father Maurice Lester
                          Ring-kissing Papist dog
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 3366
                          #7
                          Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                          "Mommy, even I know the world is millions of years old, not 6,000 years."



                          Bless you, my future Darwin awardists,
                          Father Mo


                          A Cardinal in the making.

                            Comment

                            • H. Montague Worthington
                              True Christian™ Entrepreneur
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 2716
                              #8
                              Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                              Mommy, what horrible sin did you commit to make God punish me with the curse of retardedism? Mommy? Mommy? What did you do?

                                Comment

                                • Talitha
                                  Deaconess
                                  Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Aug 2026
                                  • 15118
                                  #9
                                  Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                                  Mmaawwwwmmmmmbwwwwwwuuurrruuuuurrrrghhhhhppphhhhtt tttt.............

                                  Sister Talitha

                                  Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                                  HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                                  being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


                                    Comment

                                    • Bobby-Joe
                                      Landover Security Superviser
                                      Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                                      NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Sep 2006
                                      • 18405
                                      #10
                                      Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                                      "What do you mean mommy my dad is Richard Dawkins?"

                                      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                                      Hot Must ReadThreads!


                                      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                                        Comment

                                        • Father Maurice Lester
                                          Ring-kissing Papist dog
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 3366
                                          #11
                                          Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                                          "Mom, Jeb says he's gonna be prezdent before me but I'll show him."





                                          Bless you, my voted twice for the WPE Landovarians,
                                          Father Mo


                                          A Cardinal in the making.

                                            Comment

                                            • Deaner
                                              Christ's Love Messenger
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Sep 2006
                                              • 5932
                                              #12
                                              Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                                              "Hi; my name Jamie and I retodded".

                                                Comment

                                                • Brother Guy Bayard
                                                  Anvil of the Antipodes
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  • Jul 2007
                                                  • 1271
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                                                  my father WAS NOT a Cathylik.
                                                  The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
                                                  Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Poetic Peter
                                                      Christian Poet Emeritus
                                                      Forum Member
                                                      • Nov 2006
                                                      • 1696
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: CONTEST! Write the Best Caption

                                                      Grammy loves me more than Jesus?

                                                        Comment

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