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  • landoverlover
    Also loves Jesus and America
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2010
    • 828

    #1

    HELL SIMULATOR LAUNCHED !

    By THOMAS WATKINS, Associated Press Writer

    LOS ANGELES – A device designed to control unruly inmates by blasting them with a beam of intense energy that causes a burning sensation is drawing heat from civil rights groups who fear it could cause serious injury and is "tantamount to torture."

    The mechanism, known as an "Assault Intervention Device," is a stripped-down version of a military gadget that sends highly focused beams of energy at people and makes them feel as though they are burning. The Los Angeles County sheriff's department plans to install the device by Labor Day, making it the first time in the world the technology has been deployed in such a capacity.

    ***

    God has given us a teachable moment! This device should be used on ALL children, wayward teens, democrats, general all-purpose sinners, atheists, everyone but the Saved™.

    Think of the fear-value so necessary to prompt faith, and giving it as a wonderful gift at Sunday School. As the tykes writhe in agony, with no permanent physical damage, Pastors can help them understand this is what they face forever if they become homosexuals, fornicators, democrats, or mooslims.

    The applications are almost endless to save people from hell by having them experience it. Can we all get behind this?
    Attached Files
    Leviticus 13:44 He is a leprous man, he is UNCLEAN: the priest shall pronounce him utterly UNCLEAN; his plague is in his head.

    2 Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.



    King James Bible v1611

    Good Enough For JESUS....Good Enough For Me !!

    sigpic
  • Johny Joe Hold
    Mayor of Freehold
     
    • Feb 2010
    • 12860

    #2
    Re: HELL SIMULATOR LAUNCHED !

    I wonder if we could afford to buy one of these in Freehold.

    We already have an annual Stoning Festival and we could include a session with the hell machine in the entrance price.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #3
      Re: HELL SIMULATOR LAUNCHED !

      Originally posted by landoverlover View Post
      By THOMAS WATKINS, Associated Press Writer

      LOS ANGELES – A device designed to control unruly inmates by blasting them with a beam of intense energy that causes a burning sensation is drawing heat from civil rights groups who fear it could cause serious injury and is "tantamount to torture."

      The mechanism, known as an "Assault Intervention Device," is a stripped-down version of a military gadget that sends highly focused beams of energy at people and makes them feel as though they are burning. The Los Angeles County sheriff's department plans to install the device by Labor Day, making it the first time in the world the technology has been deployed in such a capacity.
      I've got a couple of those.

      Why do you think I bag the most witches every year during the season?
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Benedict A. Davis
        Winning Souls in his Winnebago
        True Christian™
        • May 2010
        • 3900

        #4
        Re: HELL SIMULATOR LAUNCHED !

        As a person who really enjoys a fire and brimstone revival so much more than any rerun of Touched by an Angel,I can see every tent revival in the country benefiting from one of these. My question to you is can these be effectively used outdoors or at least in a tent? Would these things be too intense on a hot humid night?
        sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
        Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
        Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
        Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

        Comment

        • landoverlover
          Also loves Jesus and America
          True Christian™
          • Jul 2010
          • 828

          #5
          Re: HELL SIMULATOR LAUNCHED !

          Originally posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
          As a person who really enjoys a fire and brimstone revival so much more than any rerun of Touched by an Angel,I can see every tent revival in the country benefiting from one of these. My question to you is can these be effectively used outdoors or at least in a tent? Would these things be too intense on a hot humid night?
          As a former corrections official familiar with the device, I can assure you these things work in and outdoors, in tents, in cars, wherever. Humidity and ambient temps have no effect on the screaming torture of these wonderful things. Think of the possibilities!
          Leviticus 13:44 He is a leprous man, he is UNCLEAN: the priest shall pronounce him utterly UNCLEAN; his plague is in his head.

          2 Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.



          King James Bible v1611

          Good Enough For JESUS....Good Enough For Me !!

          sigpic

          Comment

          • Michael Crucifix
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
            • Aug 2010
            • 7

            #6
            Re: HELL SIMULATOR LAUNCHED !

            An wonderfull device. I seek to order one for my wife.

            Comment

            • Bobby-Joe
              Landover Security Superviser
              Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
              NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 18405

              #7
              Re: HELL SIMULATOR LAUNCHED !

              Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
              I wonder if we could afford to buy one of these in Freehold.

              We already have an annual Stoning Festival and we could include a session with the hell machine in the entrance price.
              Well in the Landover Church Protective Custody and Spiritual Quarantine unit we just use light sticks dipped in pepper stray during the body cavity search. Sure it is not nearly high tech cooking someone with a laser but the sinners get the point.

              Also the maker, Raytheon is a California based company. If you know what I mean.

              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

              Hot Must ReadThreads!


              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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