[MitzaLizalor]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Clearly it's time to break out the rod (I recommend a 3/4" diameter pine rod, as they replace easily if accidentally broken across your child), and warm up that beating arm! Wouldn't want to pull a muscle or anything, if you haven't beaten him in a while.

Perhaps this is the kinder option after all, considering the way lascivious groupies lust after young guitarists, leading inevitably to self pollution with aphrodisiacs and crack cocaine.

MARK 9 ©1611
43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: It is better for thee to enter into life maimed, then hauing two hands, to goe into hell, into the fire that neuer shall be quenched:
44 Where their worme dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Next thing you know, as Mr. Barton points out, he'll be singing "What if God was one of us" for an audience of spotty teenagers.

[ATTACH]14055[/ATTACH]

There will always be people who take the decidedly wrong path (see: Reformation) and acoustic guitar is no different.

However, in the hands of proper, loving Catholic it can be an impressive tool in the battle against evil.

This particular 'wife of Christ' is from Belgium as it turns out.



Bless you, my home-schooled hermaphrodite,
Father Mo




.

[Isaiah Worthington]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

I am sorry for my long absence from this lovely forum. I am also sorry for posting on such an old topic.

So, I denied my son the guitar. He was not very happy. I sent him to his desk to study the Bible.

Anyway, months later, I hear some demonic racket coming from his room. I burst into the room (with the fear that he may have just gotten raped by the devil) to find something horrible. He was banging his head to the electric guitar that burst through the speakers. Next to his CD player (I have no idea where he acquired one) was an empty jewel case. I picked it up, and it had the devil on it! The album was the Number of the Beast by the satanic sex-metal players known as Iron maiden. If you want to know how horrible the cover is, well:




Horrified I grabbed my KJV Bible and smacked him. Here's the problem though: I hit him with the power of Jesus so hard, that the Bible itself fell apart! I felt terrible. I have repented over and over. How should I feel about this?

Also, I removed any evidence of this from his life, and replaced it with Christian friendly things.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Iron maiden.

These are like a gateway "drug" leading children to listen to

(do not click links unless protected by The Breastplate of Righteousness Ephesians 6:14)

"Cradle of Filth" a band promoting masturbation

"Cannibal Corpse" who are even more satanic with "hits" like The Wretched Spawn.

DO NOT GOOGLE THE WRETCHED SPAWN (except Mr. Worthington, for information only).

This is what your son is thinking about all the time.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

@Maurice Lester why is that man dressed up as a nun? POST 17

[wait_what]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

A simple compromise is the answer.

Buy him an acoustic guitar. If he is going to learn to write songs about his faith in Christ he needs to learn to play an instrument.

We Catholics have had great success in encouraging teenagers and even preteens to take up an instrument and contribute to one of Catholicisms finer achievements... Western Music as we all know and love it.

(...)

Trust me when I tell you the best thing you can do is get that boy an acoustic guitar and involve him in some decent worship music. If, by chance, your place of worship does not offer such a programme, we Catholics are always looking for people who want to worship Jesus as He wanted.

You, your wife and your children would be welcome at any of our countless locations.




Bless you, my future wafer muncher,
Father Mo




.

Hmmm. Am I the only one who noticed the Katlick eagerness to get a 12 year old boy into the church?

[Bible Student]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
A simple compromise is the answer.

Buy him an acoustic guitar. If he is going to learn to write songs about his faith in Christ he needs to learn to play an instrument.

We Catholics have had great success in encouraging teenagers and even preteens to take up an instrument and contribute to one of Catholicisms finer achievements... Western Music as we all know and love it.

(...)

Trust me when I tell you the best thing you can do is get that boy an acoustic guitar and involve him in some decent worship music. If, by chance, your place of worship does not offer such a programme, we Catholics are always looking for people who want to worship Jesus as He wanted.

You, your wife and your children would be welcome at any of our countless locations.




Bless you, my future wafer muncher,
Father Mo

Hmmm. Am I the only one who noticed the Katlick eagerness to get a 12 year old boy into the church?

Good catch. That papist exhibits such behavior so frequently that I think many of us have become slightly immunized towards it. We always welcome fresh minds to keep him at bay and wave the warning flag.

[swellish]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Nothing played on an electric guitar is suitable music for Christians. End of argument.

I recommend getting the boy to start practicing old-time church hymns on an old, upright piano that you can find in the backrooms of so many churches.

After five or six years, if he's progressing, you can buy him one of those electronic keyboards, but only if they don't have any rock and roll sounds on them.

Is it not true that he great artists of Hillsong United use electric guitar?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lab0SHGXkA

[Pure_Angel]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Is it not true that he great artists of Hillsong United use electric guitar?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lab0SHGXkA

Hello and welcome!
Please introduce yourself in "Introduction Forum." so we can get to know you better!
I will not click any link from you until I know that you have read the KJV Bible!

Yours in Christ
Elisabeth

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

……[entire post deleted]……

Catholics also use drums and electric guitars as we saw at their recent revolting youth travesty in Sydney. I will not be posting any links to that. What is your point?

The Ballad of Father John: Jazz and Jesus come together in a Chicago Catholic priest

[slixor]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

If any child starts listening to demonic metal such as Iron Maiden, just tell them they cannot, forbid them from buying it or listening to it.

Instead, Lynyrd Skynyrd are a nice band that people should listen to. It's good music and they're pro-religion, they mention our God in their songs.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

If any child starts listening to demonic metal such as Iron Maiden, just tell them they cannot, forbid them from buying it or listening to it.

Instead, Lynyrd Skynyrd are a nice band that people should listen to. It's good music and they're pro-religion, they mention our God in their songs.

They might mention your "god"



Satan and whoremongering, alcoholism and drugs (oh, that's 4 "gods" then..)
They play ROCK MUSIC

[LoveMeDead]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Why does it matter? Not all alternative music is bad. If your really that worried about it, get him an acoustic guitar.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Why does it matter? Not all alternative music is bad. If your really that worried about it, get him an acoustic guitar.

Wrong again, godmocker. The truth is, ANYTHING labeled as "alternative" is bad. By which I mean satan inspired communiss bad.

Why are you even here? This is a Christian forum, not some high school gossip site.

[oddbod]

Re: My son asked for a guitar today! Need help

Get some music for Bach/Monteverdi Cantatas/Oratorios or any other Baroque composer for that matter. Bound to be Guitar transcriptions out there.