[Mrs. Jemima Cameltoe]

Re: The Drunk's Bar

Excuse me?

PENNYCOSTAL?! There is no snake-fondling going on here!

I hope that was a typo, Ms. Cameltoe.

I confess to you Sister Jenny, that I am a Pentacostal. I believe in the modern manifestation of the gifts of the Spirit. i.e. prophesy, interpretation, speaking in tongues. Tongues especially. Many have told me that speaking in tongues, or as I like to call it, tongue-ing, is my gift.

But please do not confuse me with the snake dancing-devil juice drinking-inter-marrying-bark like a dog, squeal like a pig-barefoot-white trash Pentacostals. My gloves, shoes, and purse always match. I've never even laid hands on a tambourine. And the only time that I thrash around on the floor is when I'm receiving a well deserved whipping from my husband. And even then, I make sure my legs are crossed, for I am a lady.

[Mrs. Jemima Cameltoe]

Re: The Drunk's Bar

Excuse me?

PENNYCOSTAL?! There is no snake-fondling going on here!

I hope that was a typo, Ms. Cameltoe.

And one more thing, dear. I know that you were being respectful in calling me Ms., but I prefer Mrs. I would rather be caught at Wal-Mart with a six pack of Bud Light under my unshaved arm pits wearing a mu-mu with a Marlboro Light 100 dangling out of my mouth than have anyone lump me in with the Helen Gurley Browns and the Gloria Steinems of this world. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle indeed! How preposterous. Fish don't even have legs. How would their little flippers reach the peddles?

Can I get an amen?

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: The Drunk's Bar

Amen!

And, Pentacostal though you may be, I think Landover could use an expert in -- what did you call it? -- "tonguing."

It can be awfully hard to understand some of the "ecstatics" when they're in the middle of a service. Some of them shout so loud when they're "receiving the spirit" that they're incomprehensible.

~~ OEJ

[Mrs. Jemima Cameltoe]

Re: The Drunk's Bar

Amen!

And, Pentacostal though you may be, I think Landover could use an expert in -- what did you call it? -- "tonguing."

It can be awfully hard to understand some of the "ecstatics" when they're in the middle of a service. Some of them shout so loud when they're "receiving the spirit" that they're incomprehensible.

~~ OEJ

Many nights my mother would walk by my bedroom door and hear groaning. Imagine her great relief when I assured her it was only the Holy Spirit making intercession for me.