I killed a niglet last month

[Brother Enoch]

Good Christian man as I try to be I was sponsoring a niglet child in Sierra Leone for the last few years. Of course, it was through a Christian charity rather than some UN or secular crap. It's the Christian Children's Fund (CCF). They give not only food but also a proper Christian education. I was getting attached to the little guy, he was so cute, what having no hands and all. Apparently a lot of people in Sierra Leone have no hands for some reason.

I received an email from the CCF today.

Your January sponsorship payment of $38 was declined by your Visa provider. As such, your sponsored child, 8 year old Ungowa[click] Mahoola[click][click] Ungak was unable to be fed. He endured for 3 weeks but expired on January 26th. Ungowa[click[ does have a younger sister, 4 year old [click][click](unpronounceable)[click] and if you would like to make up for this murder you are responsible for please consider sponsoring her. Your eternal soul rests in the balance.

We can no longer accept monthly payments from you, however. if you wish to redeem your soul by sponsoring [click][click](unpronounceable)[click] you must pay in advance for one year. $456 will be charged to your Visa when you click the redemption link below.

Jesus hopes you make the right decision

I just feel awful about this.

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

I just feel awful about this.

I wouldn't get too upset about this, Brother. Accidents happen.

Besides, its not like it he'll be the only unSaved(c) Niglet roasting in Hell for an eternity. Just start fresh with a new one.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

Well CCF does have the word Christian in his name. Perhaps they had a chance to save his soul before he died. Perhaps Jesus had your VISA decline so that little click-click-whatever could join him before the poor child backslid into sin.

Just keep positive Brother

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

a proper Christian education..

January 26th.

I received an email from the CCF today..

that is quite touching; Jan 26th is Australia day, in recognition of our finally rounding up all the aborigines and transferring them (the few that remained) to mission stations -- unfortunately they were all run by convicts (or catholics ) -- how tragic when Satan hijacks a nation.

[Talitha]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

Why on earth would these people need American Dollars anyway?
It's not like they can drive into town and buy a new Gucci stoning bucket or even a bargain bucket at the local KFC is it?

They need Bibles, not money.

[Rebuko the Clown]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

Eh, plenty more where that came from.

Just one niglet out of millions. Don't lose sleep over it.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

Brother Enoch,

God chose you (via the Visa Card imbroglio) as a vessel in carrying out more of His curse upon the Hamites!

You are indeed finding favor in His sight!

Is it possible for you to 'sponsor' a busload of niglets?


PRAISE JESUS!!!!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

I wonder if you can make a little trust for a niglet, and have the CCF dole out food only when the child memorizes a new chapter of the KJV Bible. This seems infinitely more helpful than fattening up some heathen for no reason.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

I wonder if you can make a little trust for a niglet, and have the CCF dole out food only when the child memorizes a new chapter of the KJV Bible. This seems infinitely more helpful than fattening up some heathen for no reason.

Sadly, I can't help but think there is a streak of liberalism in the CCF, the fattening up does have a purpose; creating more welfare niglets. I will have to pray on this . . .

[James Hutchins]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

Brother Enoch, do not worry about it, sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. After all, it was just a niglet, not like was a worthwhile person.

I suggest going out to breakfast at Denny's, having a hearty meal and forgetting about it.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

I was getting attached to the little guy, he was so cute

You could always go to the Zoo and get a new one. At least it would be American.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

We can no longer accept monthly payments from you, however. if you wish to redeem your soul by sponsoring [click][click](unpronounceable)[click] you must pay in advance for one year. $456 will be charged to your Visa when you click the redemption link below.

Brother Enoch think long and hard before sending a whole years money to one of these children. You never know what they will spend the money on. They might use it to buy drugs, you see the same kind of thing, in any big city, whenever tax refund checks get mailed out.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

I just feel awful about this.

Brother Enoch, it seems that Visa has inflicted some considerable emotional distress upon you. Have you considered seeking legal representation?

[SpiritualistGirl]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

Brother Enoch think long and hard before sending a whole years money to one of these children. You never know what they will spend the money on. They might use it to buy drugs, you see the same kind of thing, in any big city, whenever tax refund checks get mailed out.

Any sponsership fund uses the money thats sent in to buy food and clean (not contaminated) water for that child and to send them to school.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: I killed a niglet last month

Seems like a waste of money to me, they deserve what they get for not caring about Christianity and instead begging for food all the time.

Psalm 37:25
I have been young, and [now] am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

Praise! , don't send the little coons a penny.