Re: Colonic Demons?
Can i kill them by shitting them out?
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Re: Colonic Demons?
Brother! It's just beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes just looking at it.Originally posted by Free Market Fred View PostIn one of our recent corporate takeovers, my company recently became the majority shareholder in a well-known plumbing repair business. Although our original intent was simply to monopolize yet another essential service (and thus raise prices), this thread has certainly given me some good ideas on how to expand into new markets.
I see no reason why we couldn't offer personalized home service. You can get your drains cleaned and rectal demons exorcised in just one session. We plan to start distributing 2-for-1 coupons next month.

Clean drains, relieve constipation, exorcise demons. We do it all!
Our specially trained experts now attend classes in plumbing, proctology and exorcism. When it comes to such sensitive matters, it's best to call in the experts. Don't be tempted to hire some illegal Mexican with a garden hose - we're talking about your health here, not to mention your soul. Why take chances?

Pastor Ted Haggard, a satisfied customer.
For an extra fee, devout Christians can have the procedure performed by none other than Joe-the-Plumber himself. He's had more experience with rectal servicing that practically anyone in the business.
Of course, if you're one of those do-it-yourself types, we offer both sales and rentals of the necessary equipment.

Individual responsibility healthcare:
Why not do it yourself?
I'd recommend an annual demon-cleaning at least twice a year. It's the Christian thing to do.
It sure beats using a pair of gauntlets and a hook thing on the end of a stick.
Where do I sign?
I'm sure this Heaven-sent device is going to be perfect for the removal of Cooter demons too.
GLORY!!!!
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Re: Colonic Demons?
How dare you judge people in that way? Isn't it only God who is in charge of who goes to hell and who does not? Your narrow-minded way of thinking is so ridiculous - If this is not a joke, then have fun cleaning people's asses, it doesn't help anything.
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Re: Colonic Demons?
Yes they do. It takes a real man, a kilted Highland warrior, to kick them out on his own.Originally posted by Talitha View PostWe do not perform exorcism. That is a catholic occupation.
Get those mary worshipers in and it wouldn't just be Demons they wanted from your Rectum.
If you are a skirt wearing nancy boy from North England then there is your problem.
Demons just love men in skirts.
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Re: Colonic Demons?
In one of our recent corporate takeovers, my company recently became the majority shareholder in a well-known plumbing repair business. Although our original intent was simply to monopolize yet another essential service (and thus raise prices), this thread has certainly given me some good ideas on how to expand into new markets.
I see no reason why we couldn't offer personalized home service. You can get your drains cleaned and rectal demons exorcised in just one session. We plan to start distributing 2-for-1 coupons next month.

Clean drains, relieve constipation, exorcise demons. We do it all!
Our specially trained experts now attend classes in plumbing, proctology and exorcism. When it comes to such sensitive matters, it's best to call in the experts. Don't be tempted to hire some illegal Mexican with a garden hose - we're talking about your health here, not to mention your soul. Why take chances?

Pastor Ted Haggard, a satisfied customer.
For an extra fee, devout Christians can have the procedure performed by none other than Joe-the-Plumber himself. He's had more experience with rectal servicing that practically anyone in the business.
Of course, if you're one of those do-it-yourself types, we offer both sales and rentals of the necessary equipment.

Individual responsibility healthcare:
Why not do it yourself?
I'd recommend an annual demon-cleaning at least twice a year. It's the Christian thing to do.
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Re: Colonic Demons?
I normally do not resort to such obvious tactics, but a post as lazy as this one deserves exactly this sort of response:Originally posted by Sugarfree View PostAnd how are those rectal demons cleaned out if I may ask?
READ THE THREAD
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Re: Colonic Demons?
And how are those rectal demons cleaned out if I may ask?
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Re: Colonic Demons?
I don't care how you spell fart in your country you foreign pervert, a butt addict is a butt addict is a BUTT ADDICT no matter how you slice it!Originally posted by defart View PostPortway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).
All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
God is fiction you insane creeps.
And you're the crazy one if you think God, the Devil, and demons don't exist. I feel sorry for you actually, since you don't have to believe in Hell for Jesus to send you there for all eternity!
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Re: Colonic Demons?
I'm a forced atheist. As I mentioned somewhere else in this forum, I was raised to be a good christian. muhaha
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Re: Colonic Demons?
I own a cat... Does that put demons in my rectum?
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Re: Colonic Demons?
Didn't you see the title of the thread - Your head may be up your colon, our heads aren't.Originally posted by defart View PostAll the demons are in your people's heads.And that, my friend, is why Hell is full to overflowingNobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist.God is love.And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?He does! He offers Salvation™Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations?To be frank, I would have difficulty helping you, as you are an atheist.He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
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Re: Colonic Demons?
You think this is an invention of the mind? If True Christian™ Proctologists were not doing their job, the secular industry would take over.Originally posted by defart View PostPortway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).
All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
God is fiction you insane creeps.
Friends, never go to a proctologist outside of Landover.
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Re: Colonic Demons?
Portway. My initial username was deVart untill some frustrated moderator changed it(guess what, out of frustration...).
All the demons are in your people's heads.
Nobody's going to hell because god or the devil do not exist. They're a mere invention of the human mind(mind that seeks answers beiond his coping capabilities).
And if God would exist, why is he superficial/pure evil?
Shouldn't he be good? Shouldn't he help his creations? He never helped me even if I asked for his help.
God is fiction you insane creeps.
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