Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

[John Creeser]

Dear friends,

Coming home from Bible study at Brother Porters residence I was walking up to my door when I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. There next to the communal garbage disposal was a white foam container with two sticks next to it. Seeing as I cannot stand a litterbug I took it upon myself to dispose it properly. Picking it up and smelling a foul stench I noticed the sticks were chop sticks and the in the container was leftover won ton soup.

My first thought was "My God, there is a gook in the perimeter".

I immediately contacted Landover security who did an extensive perimeter search and came up empty (even checking under the very tight crawl spaces - those slants are just like hamsters, they can pour into any crack or crevice). Praise Jesus!! I breathed a sigh of relief, we were safe and sound. I mean it could have been a disgruntled NVA or Viet Gong coming to assasinate one of our Vietnam Veterans.

My point to this friends is please remember only healthy True Christian™ American food on Landover property (McDonalds, Pizza pops, KFC Double Downs, etc).

Perhaps we could make a list of what is not acceptable on Landover property (we don't want to have another security scare).

1. No gook soup

[Sister Kitty]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

2. Spaghetti
3. Lasagna
4. Pizza (except for pizza pops which are clearly American)

That Wop crap will turn you Catholic.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

5. Tacos
6. Chimichangas
7. Monkey brains

Anything else those illegals eat.

[John Creeser]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

2. Spaghetti
3. Lasagna
4. Pizza (except for pizza pops which are clearly American)

That Wop crap will turn you Catholic.

Worse than that Sister Kitty, you would be supporting Jo Freddies cult of his ridiculous flying spaghetti monster

8. anything with curry - I can only assume the dot heads have no sense of smell, how can anyone eat that?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

9. Russian dressing

10. French's mustard
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[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

My first thought was "My God, there is a gook in the perimeter".

My apologies, Brother. That filthy slop was liklely left by Dinh Ngyuen. A degenerate and profligate bottom queen from Louse (or one of those insignificant swamps in the Orient), that I am slowly leading out of the queerness with the help of Jesus Christ every Sunday night in my study.

At this point, he is still prone to rectal recidivism and unsuitable for hire in Freehold, so he panhandles for his native swill. He must have been hungry and in a rush to get to our prayer session.

Thank you for your diligence and I will have a word with him soon.

Several foods that are absolutely forbidden in the Porter home include:

Any type of fudge
Pigs in a blanket
Eggplants
Quiche
Meatballs.
Those obsence pink coconut things
Pudding packs
Sausages
Muffins
Fruit salads
Ding dongs
Ho-hos
Banana cream pie


In Christ

[John Creeser]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

My apologies, Brother. That filthy slop was liklely left by Dinh Ngyuen. A degenerate and profligate bottom queen from Louse (or one of those insignificant swamps in the Orient), that I am slowly leading out of the queerness with the help of Jesus Christ every Sunday night in my study.

At this point, he is still prone to rectal recidivism and unsuitable for hire in Freehold, so he panhandles for his native swill. He must have been hungry and in a rush to get to our prayer session.

Thank you for your diligence and I will have a word with him soon.

Brother Porter,

Thank you for clearing that up, the family and I will rest well tonight. But yes, please talk to him and let him know the panic he has caused, and that in America, we throw our waste in the garbage - I'm sure whatever backwards mosquito infested country he comes from it's common practice to litter, but not here.

I know if there is anyone that can turn this lost soul out of gaydom, it's you!! I'll include you in my prayers tonight for success!!

Any type of fudge
Pigs in a blanket
Eggplants
Quiche
Meatballs.
Those obsence pink coconut things
Pudding packs
Sausages
Muffins
Fruit salads
Ding dongs
Ho-hos
Banana cream pie

Wise Brother, very wise choice of things to avoid (considering your past and all).

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

Worse than that Sister Kitty, you would be supporting Jo Freddies cult of his ridiculous flying spaghetti monster

I absolutely support the prohibition on spaghetti. If having Jo Freddie on this site has taught me anything, it's that pirates can't be trusted, even white pirates. If pirates are going to keep having sodomy all across the seven seas, and worshiping spaghetti, then I am going to forbid such Godless antics from my kitchen absolutely. I made it very clear when Cindy Lou and I got married just six short months ago that there would be a zero tolerance for Eye-talian food, especially idolatrous Eye-talian food such as spaghetti. Not in my kitchen.

Some unsaved trash here once argued with me that spaghetti could be just a food, and not necessary idolatrous. Tell me brethren: would you put an asherah pole up in your home for decoration, or burn incense to Baal for the aroma? God would see right through this sort of thing.

[Tea_Party_Minister]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

All noodles are sinful. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

[Sister Kitty]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

All noodles are sinful. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

Are squirrels? Why are you trying to eat one? Or is it trying to eat you?

[HTannor]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

I refuse to eat rice. Rice is really just albino mouse turds.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

Are ’roo steaks OK?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Gook Soup found in Freehold Mobile Estates

Romans 14:20-21: For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed [are] pure; but [it is] evil for that man who eateth with offence. [It is] good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor [any thing] whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

Don't eat or drink anything that could tempt someone into queerism or into the Eurotrash or Ornamental lifestyle choice.