Advice needed.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

As a new member of this friendliest of websites I thought I might ask the more established members to help me in a thorny problem that has vexed me no end.

I was tucking into my (rather dull witted) wife's succulent rump roast last night and I must say the tender flesh of her rump roast was trully an delight.

I complimented her on her cooking skills as she saved the left overs for another day.

But there was something wrong and I could not put my finger on it. As with everthing in my whole life with no exceptions I looked to my faithful KJV (1611) for instruction.

Several hours later I emerged from my prayer closet not a little angry

Matthew 24:22 And unless those days were shortened, no flesh would be saved; but for the elect’s sake those days will be shortened.

As it is February the days are getting longer! And my wife saved some of the flesh of the rump roast!

I raced upstairs to find my wife asleep in bed. Furious I raised my hand to 'discuss' this with her: but then I stopped.

I was confused because I did not know the propper admonishment for her transgression.

My instinct was to beat the hell out of her but should I stone her, burn her or drown her instead?

I ask the more knowledgable here to advise me in how to proceed....

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Advice needed.

Wow, that sounds like a serious problem. I can offer no help of course, as I am just a woman and often in need of correction from my own husband. Has your wife confessed her sins to you and made reparations for her misconduct?

Goodness, I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Advice needed.

As it is February the days are getting longer! And my wife saved some of the flesh of the r

No, the days are getting shorter. There are only 28 (29, since this is a leap year) in February, instead of the usual 30 or 31.

I'm not sure what you exactly mean, friend?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

No, the days are getting shorter. There are only 28 (29, since this is a leap year) in February, instead of the usual 30 or 31.

I'm not sure what you exactly mean, friend?

Sorry, I should have been more literal. A shorter day contains less Day as opposed to Night.

Genesis 1:5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day

Irriguardless, I still need some advice for admonishment for my dull wife.

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[Dr Laurence Niles]

Wow, that sounds like a serious problem. I can offer no help of course, as I am just a woman and often in need of correction from my own husband. Has your wife confessed her sins to you and made reparations for her misconduct?

Goodness, I'll keep you in my prayers.

My wife (dull) does not appear to appreciate the significance of living life exactly as it states in the Bible (KJV1611).

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[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Advice needed.

My wife (dull) does not appear to appreciate the significance of living life exactly as it states in the Bible (KJV1611).

Then you are not hitting her hard enough.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Advice needed.

I ask the more knowledgable here to advise me in how to proceed....

1. Stop being an idiot.

2. Read the verse in context, and realize it has nothing to do with what your wife puts in her Tupperware, or food, for that matter.

3. Continue not being an idiot.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

1. Stop being an idiot.

2. Read the verse in context, and realize it has nothing to do with what your wife puts in her Tupperware, or food, for that matter.

3. Continue not being an idiot.

Of course I bow to you greater knowledge: what state is Context in?
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[humble servant]

Re: Advice needed.

I'd go with 'stone her' but not to death. Perhaps if you stone her only to the degree that she has a noticeable limp. That will remind her that proper behavior is something that is daily.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

I'd go with 'stone her' but not to death. Perhaps if you stone her only to the degree that she has a noticeable limp. That will remind her that proper behavior is something that is daily.

Hm, that sounds like a good idea. I take my morning constitutional in an abandoned old quarry and I could insist she comes with me.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

I'm sure skimming a few rocks off her as I shout pertinent verses will do her the world of good.

Thanks, friend

Praise Jesus!
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[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Advice needed.

I'd go with 'stone her' but not to death. Perhaps if you stone her only to the degree that she has a noticeable limp. That will remind her that proper behavior is something that is daily.

Well, we have no biblical precedent or commandment for stoning in a situation like this, but as for admonitions, we do have those.

Since a wife is listed among property (Exodus 20:17), we can handle the situation a number of ways--all of which will be at the husband's discretion.

First of all, while the immediate meaning of the verse in Matthew has to do with Jesus' return, we needn't worry as to what bearing this has on the matter; the wife doesn't have her own understanding of the scriptures accept what her father and husband have given her, and so - per the wishes of the husband - she still did not do as she should have done.

I Peter 3:7 says husbands and wives are to be heirs together in the grace of life, and while I would normally suggest a strip-and-thrash bullwhip handling of rebellion, this isn't called-for here.

Just confine her to your bedroom for the day, only allowing her out for cooking and basic needs, and then sending her back. Tell her that you are going to speak with her at the end of the day about what she has done wrong, but until then she needs to think and pray.

At the end of the night, sit with her on the bed and reminisce about the good times, followed by: "You don't want to get on my bad side, do you? You don't want to displease Jesus, do you? So here is what you should have done..." (corrective instructions)

Then say a prayer and let the matter be put to rest.

Pastor Ed