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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775
    #46
    Re: My wife has vanished.

    Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
    Well, she certainly would passive-aggressively ignore my effective rebukes and sermons.

    I'm beginning to think I may be better off without her.

    Especially now the pizza has arrived.

    YIC
    Brother Niles, as you live in Godless England, is there any way you can earn some well-deserved wages from this traumatic event?
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • Rev. M. Rodimer
        Honorary True Christian™
        Forum Member
        • May 2008
        • 13996
        #47
        Re: My wife has vanished.

        Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
        Well, she certainly would passive-aggressively ignore my effective rebukes and sermons.

        I'm beginning to think I may be better off without her.

        Especially now the pizza has arrived.

        YIC
        Cheers, Brother! (You did get beer too, right?)
        Bible boring? Nonsense!
        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

          Comment

          • Dr Laurence Niles
            Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
             
            • Jan 2012
            • 9063
            #48
            Re: My wife has vanished.

            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
            Cheers, Brother! (You did get beer too, right?)
            It arrived promptly and was received with thanks at this difficult time.

            It is at times like these that I thank God for my faith.

            YIC
            1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

            Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

            Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

              Comment

              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                Honorary True Christian™
                Forum Member
                • May 2008
                • 13996
                #49
                Re: My wife has vanished.



                Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
                It arrived promptly and was received with thanks at this difficult time.

                It is at times like these that I thank God for my faith.

                YIC
                I will pray that your pizzas are always delivered hot.
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

                  • Adam Fag
                    Unsaved trash, some kind of fag
                    • Jan 2012
                    • 636
                    #50
                    Re: My wife has vanished.

                    Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
                    Now, if I can just work out this washing machine.
                    There's a pair of "beauty therapists" spare up here who know how to wash things out, I could send them down to you if you like.

                    I'll give them a car too to get rid of them..
                    Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.

                      Comment

                      • WWJDnow
                        True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Aug 2009
                        • 6314
                        #51
                        Re: My wife has vanished.

                        I hope it's not the Rapture. I'd hate to be left behind.
                        The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

                          Comment

                          • Catherine Moore
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Feb 2012
                            • 315
                            #52
                            Re: My wife has vanished.

                            I just had a terrible thought Brother.

                            Your dear Nephew, of whom you think so much - he wasn't on her side of the family was he? You'll still have regular and repeated access to him?

                              Comment

                              • Oceanwander
                                Forum Member
                                Forum Member
                                • Mar 2012
                                • 82
                                #53
                                Re: My wife has vanished.

                                Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
                                Especially now the pizza has arrived.
                                Pizza Drivers have to endure sleet, rain and now. The put put more wear and tear on their cars then other people. They also have to deal with all kids of ungodly people and even risk being robbed. Not to mention, they also make below minimum wage and rely on tips for income.

                                I hope you had a Christian Tract handy to give him for a tip.
                                John 8:31

                                Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

                                  Comment

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