Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

[Glendora Christianson]

Folks, I doubt Elmer and I will be visiting that false-Christian mecca called Colorado Springs too soon, but I can't help but ask a question about what those liberal false Christians plan to do with their homer pastor, Ted Haggard. And I read an article which mentions SPIRITUAL REPARATION.

MY QUESTION: (please don't pounce on me) if God's favorite church (LBC) was going to do one of these reparations, how would we go about it? CURIOUS GLENDORA

[Brother V]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

Folks, I doubt Elmer and I will be visiting that false-Christian mecca called Colorado Springs too soon, but I can't help but ask a question about what those liberal false Christians plan to do with their homer pastor, Ted Haggard. And I read an article which mentions SPIRITUAL REPARATION.

MY QUESTION: (please don't pounce on me) if God's favorite church (LBC) was going to do one of these reparations, how would we go about it? CURIOUS GLENDORA

I don't see why he would need to make Spiritual Reparations. Based on his behaviour, it's obvious that he was never TRULY saved, due to the fact that we know True Christians (tm) don't/CAN'T sin.

1 John 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

Haggard is no more than a homosexual wolf in sheeps clothing. Haggard abandoned his flock, like Jesus said. He turned his back on what he thought was right, and ran to the safety of buttsex!

John 10:12 But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep.

Haggard should be put to death, like all other homers!

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

It doesn't matter what his CLAIMS are, he got a massage from another man, who is/was a gay prostitute!

Jesus said we'd know who you are by the company you keep! If this man consorts with homers, well... he must be a homer too!

Deuteronomy 7:26 Neither shalt thou bring an abomination into thine house, lest thou be a cursed thing like it: but thou shalt utterly detest it, and thou shalt utterly abhor it; for it is a cursed thing.

Reparations! I scoff at the thought! Haggard should (possibly) be allowed to accept Jesus as his Personal Lord and Saviour, and then we should all stone him!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

I think he's ruined his chances of ever becoming a True Christian™:

Hebrews 6:4-6: For [it is] impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put [him] to an open shame.

It would be better for him if he had never even pretended:

II Peter 2:20-21: For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known [it], to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

Matthew 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.[30] And if thy right hand offend thee, cut if off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

First and foremost: Off with his tallywhacker!!!! His homerglot depravity offends indeed.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

Well, all sins except blaspheming the holy ghost can be forgiven..
Yet, I doubt this homer truly wants to repent.

I say stone him, you cannot change those who honestly doesn't want to change.

[Brother V]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

Haggard begins spiritual 'restoration'

DENVER - There will be prayer, and perhaps the laying on of hands. There will be counseling and a confession. And there will be advice, confrontation and rebuke from "godly men" appointed to oversee the spiritual "restoration" of the Rev. Ted Haggard.

um.... is that really wise?

I agree with Brother Remy... he should cut his tallywacker off for Jesus.

Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

YIC
V

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

I agree with Brother Remy... he should cut his tallywacker off for Jesus.

If what I've read about him is true, then they'll also have to sew up ... I'm sorry, but I can't think of a delicate way to say it in a thread that True Christian™ ladies read.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

I think it is obvious to all now that Haggard's tallywacker is nothing more than a demon laden weapon of mass destruction and as long as it is functional it will be craving victims to give its lethal anal spunk injection. It is high time for some Christian surgery on Haggard with a pair of pruning sheers and blow torch. Then, once he is free from Satanic infestation, Haggard can turn himself over to Christ and be stoned to death.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

Haggard begins spiritual 'restoration'

um.... is that really wise?

I agree with Brother Remy... he should cut his tallywacker off for Jesus.

YIC
V

From the link above:

"I see success approximately 50 percent of the time," said H.B. London, vice president for church and clergy at Focus on the Family, the conservative Christian ministry in Colorado Springs. "Guys just wear out and they can no longer subject themselves to the process."
Those who fail "end up selling cars or shoes or something, and being miserable and angry the rest of their lives," London said.

I sure wish that false-Christian hadn't said that! I can no longer bear to walk into a shoe store or onto a car lot! I refuse to do business with ex-false Christian (???) homers! I sure hope Christler corporation is aware of this phenomenon . . . I smell a boycott! GLYNNDIE WITH OLD SCUFFED UP SHOES!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

From the link above:

"I see success approximately 50 percent of the time," said H.B. London, vice president for church and clergy at Focus on the Family, the conservative Christian ministry in Colorado Springs. "Guys just wear out and they can no longer subject themselves to the process."
Those who fail "end up selling cars or shoes or something, and being miserable and angry the rest of their lives," London said.

I sure wish that false-Christian hadn't said that! I can no longer bear to walk into a shoe store or onto a car lot! I refuse to do business with ex-false Christian (???) homers! I sure hope Christler corporation is aware of this phenomenon . . . I smell a boycott! GLYNNDIE WITH OLD SCUFFED UP SHOES!

Thank you for confirming my suspicions about the false Christians at Focus Group on the Family. Does that sound like Almighty God's success rate? Did anyone who went for healing to Our Lord Jesus Christ ever fail and end up being a miserable and angry salesman of chariots or sandals?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Haggard's Reparation? Just Wondering

"I see success approximately 50 percent of the time," said H.B. London, vice president for church and clergy at Focus on the Family, the conservative Christian ministry in Colorado Springs. "Guys just wear out and they can no longer subject themselves to the process."
Those who fail "end up selling cars or shoes or something, and being miserable and angry the rest of their lives," London said.

And those who succeed go back to their FALSE CHRISTIAN ministries, smoke meth and run rumps on Tuesday.