[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

The japs are such perverts! You cannot imagine the depravity I am exposed to on a daily basis every time I take my Mission to the Slants over there.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Brother, I'm sure all the Godly women of the Landover Baptist Church will be unanimous in saying the only good cunnilingus is NO cunnilingus!

What, exactly, are we talking about here? It sounds dirty (ice cream cone?).

[Faith_Machine]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Dr. Ville, it's far worse than you can probably imagine. It's something I used to get involved with before I got saved. We're talking about men performing oral sodomy upon women. You know, putting your mouth "down there."

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Putting your mouth on someone's anus is a disgusting sin, and a crime against Jesus. If it is possible to turn a lesbian without doing so, it would be a victory for the Lord.

[Levi Jones]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

My son just returned with that women, she is indeed ugly.

How would you know, brother? They all look exactly alike.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

What, exactly, are we talking about here? It sounds dirty (ice cream cone?).

I think he means this:

(NSFW)

[Faith_Machine]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

No, friends, cunnilingus involves eating something even more sinful than poo poo. There is Biblical precedent for eating dung, but nowhere in the Bible does it say you should eat what cunnilingus involves.

I don't want to say anything more on the subject, but trust me on this one, it's really, really bad.

[Ex-soccer player]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Why not simply rape and then marry her according to Deuteronomy 22:28-29? What more of a "traditional wedding" can the father expect? I suppose the fifty shekels can be charged against the $60,000,000? Is there an error in reasoning?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Just a minute! Which one did he come back with? You know it's the one on the right! The more presentable slant? Not the one on the left with short hair, glasses and the fake cat.

How would you know, brother? They all look exactly alike.

Well, the bad news is that my son did indeed capture the wrong person. Weirdly enough, no matter how often I point out he is an idiot, he keeps acting like an idiot. The good news however, is that we got the money anyway. The Chinaman was so overjoyed he was allowed to leave that he paid full price. I have never seen one run so fast.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Why not simply rape and then marry her according to Deuteronomy 22:28-29? What more of a "traditional wedding" can the father expect? I suppose the fifty shekels can be charged against the $60,000,000? Is there an error in reasoning?

Not so fast, buddy. Thanks to the unchecked inflation we've experienced under Obama, if you rape a woman, you will owe her father $55 million!

And I'm sure that money would be payable prior to the marriage and prior to you getting the $60 million.

So I guess if you really wanted to, you could invest $55 million to make $5 million profit, but if you've got that much to invest, you'd be better off talking to our own Free Market Fred about investment opportunities that give you a better return.

[Ex-soccer player]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Not so fast, buddy. Thanks to the unchecked inflation we've experienced under Obama, if you rape a woman, you will owe her father $55 million!

$55 million for one rape??? You have to pay this to a father who can't even keep his daughters locked up until he finds a proper Christian husband? This is beyond reason. It explaines of course the high number of fake "rapes"

[Faith_Machine]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

This is one reason I try to avoid being alone with women as much as possible. I live in constant fear that I will become the victim of a false rape accusation and wind up having my wages garnished for life.

[Deaner]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

Hmm, yeah, I don't know about "going down" on a female chink. Is he offering anything if I fuck the dogs?

Every dime will be donated to LBC of course.

[Little Donkey]

Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer!

"me ruv u rontime, 65 miun dorra"

No thanks, I'd rather spend eternity in Heaven than take satan's money now and live like a billionaire having sex with an attractive Asian lesbian (and probably multiple attractive partner/s) for the rest of my life.

Genesis 28:1: "And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan."