Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

[Brother Harold Porter]

Brothers, the Methodist thing did not work out well. It was nothing more than sinners that desire the rectum, male or female. My experience with the Methodist "Church" was not pleasant.

But I think these people might have what I need to hear?

Through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, we trust in the one triune God, the Holy One of Israel, whom alone we worship and serve.

God comes to us in free and undeserved favor in the person of Jesus Christ who lived, died, and rose for us that we might belong to God and serve Christ in the world. Following Jesus, Presbyterians are engaged in the world and in seeking thoughtful solutions to the challenges of our time.

I like the part about following Jesus, in these tough times.

In Christ

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

Presbyterians affirm that God comes to us with grace and love in the person of Jesus Christ, who lived, died, and rose for us so that we might have eternal and abundant life in him. As Christ’s disciples, called to ministry in his name, we seek to continue his mission of teaching the truth, feeding the hungry, healing the broken, and welcoming strangers. God sends the Holy Spirit to dwell within us, giving us the energy, intelligence, imagination, and love to be Christ’s faithful disciples in the world.

More than two million people call the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) their spiritual home. Worshiping in 10,000 Presbyterian congregations throughout the United States, they engage the communities in which they live and serve with God’s love.

Praise God! I think I have found a new home.

In Christ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

What is it with you, Brother Porter? Why this wanderlust in your heart? I am Praying over this a lot lately, and it seems to me that satan has somehow planted a streak of liberalism in your well-worn rectum. That path leads to hellfire.

Or perhaps you've forgotten that it was you who discovered that the Presbyterian cult is now ordaining sodomites?

Also, they practice infant "baptism". They sprinkle or pour water on infants and call it "baptism". Infants do not have any sin and are not candidates for baptism because they cannot believe. In Acts 8:36-37 a question is asked and the answer given, “See here is water, what hinders me from being baptized? Then Philip said, If you believe with all your heart you may”. An infant cannot believe with all his heart and he does not have any sin that needs to be washed away. When a person who was sprinkled as an infant becomes accountable and begins to sin, he thinks he does not need to “repent and be baptized for the remission of sins” (Acts 2:38). Since he himself does not obey the Lord’s command to repent and be baptized for the forgiveness of his sins, he still has every sin he has ever committed and is still lost. Satan has many ways of causing people to be eternally lost.

Please don't jump on the train to hellfire, Brother. I would miss your Love Offerings.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

Oh Good Gravy, Brother! Those Presbyterians are worse than the Methodists! Look at how they recruit! Look at what they believe!

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

Presbyterians don't follow the Bible directly. They place too much importance on extra-Biblical writings. Their standard of doctrine is the Westminster Confession of Faith, which every office bearer must swear to uphold. Why can't they get their doctrine directly from the Bible? The Bible doesn't teach infant baptism, but the confession does, so that's what they do. They conduct their business according to the Book of Church Order. They try to brainwash their children into accepting the doctrines of the church by forcing them to memorise at least the Westminster Shorter Catechism (in Australia, at least; I don't know about American churches). Why can't they get their children to memorise the Bible? They also look to the Westminster Larger Catechism for doctrinal guidance. And where did they get their idea of a catechism? The Roman Catholic church. Presbyterians have never fully shaken off their Catholic roots. With all their confessions and catechisms to guide them, they hardly need the Bible. I don't know why they put so much faith in a collection of documents written by various authors 350 years ago rather than in a collection of documents written by various authors 3,500-1,900 years ago. They have added to Scripture. They will face God's wrath.

Rev 22:18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

Also, they believe their form of church government is 100% Biblically accurate, based on a few passages in Acts that explain how the early church resolved some of its issues. But these passages aren't direct commandments; they only explain what the church did. The Bible doesn't say anything of sessions, presbyteries, synods or general assemblies.

Brother Porter, in accordance with 1 Timothy 5:1, I entreat you as a father to desist. As an ex-Presbyterian, I do not want to see you go down the same road I went down. How would you, as an ex-gay, feel if some young man you knew was thinking of becoming gay? Wouldn't you do everything in your power to warn him of the dangers of sodomy and turn him around? Even so, I am warning you of the dangers of Presbyterianism. It was the good people of Landover that made me see Presbyterianism was wrong. I wouldn't want one of Landover's own to go astray.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

This had better be some kind of crazy prank.

Maybe somebody hacked into Brother Harold's account?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

Brother, the Presbyterians believe in Predestination. We Baptists believe in Free Will. Predestination holds that you play out a predetermined role and script in life and then go to Heaven or Hell according to a plan made before your birth. That is not God's will and that is blasphemy. Our trip to Heaven or Hell is up to us and has to do with our self guided behavior on Earth. That is God's plan.

Beside the fact that you put your immortal soul in jepordy by toying with false religion, you have not suffered torment on Earth until you have teenagers who want to talk about predestination. Any attrocity they can come up with is preordained by God and came about through no fault of their own.

No, the Presbyterians may seem stern and upright, but that has more to do with being Scots than it does with being God's elect. They are all going to Hell.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

Brother, the Presbyterians believe in Predestination. We Baptists believe in Free Will. Predestination holds that you play out a predetermined role and script in life and then go to Heaven or Hell according to a plan made before your birth. That is not God's will and that is blasphemy. Our trip to Heaven or Hell is up to us and has to do with our self guided behavior on Earth. That is God's plan.

Beside the fact that you put your immortal soul in jepordy by toying with false religion, you have not suffered torment on Earth until you have teenagers who want to talk about predestination. Any attrocity they can come up with is preordained by God and came about through no fault of their own.

No, the Presbyterians may seem stern and upright, but that has more to do with being Scots than it does with being God's elect. They are all going to Hell.

Friend, you are treading a fine line, presuming to instruct a True Christian™ on doctrinal matters.

I will forgive you in this case, as Brother Harold has obviously made some troubling statements recently.

But just so there's no misunderstanding, if a True Christian™ were to instruct you to jump, the appropriate response would be to say, "How high, Sir?"

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

I could see that Brother Harold's heart is aching. Clearly, becoming a Presbyterian is not the answer. I offer him this friendly information that he may avoid the pitfalls of that false religion and not be lured in by their silky promises.

Brother Harold is my Brother in Christ and it is my Christian duty to aid, assist and protect him as best I can when the opportunity presents.

Praise God!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

Amen, Alvin. Amen.

The best thing we can do right now is pray for Brother Harold. I've been setting my alarm clock for 4:00AM every morning, so I can get up extra early and get a head start on praying for Brother Harold.

Yes, yes, my boss has noticed that I seem especially tired and out of sorts when I come in to work, but I told him I'm currently experiencing a family emergency.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

I was raped.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

What's next? The Lutherans or the Episcopal Church?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

I was raped.

Why am I not surprised? I'll bet they passed you around at one of their satanic potlucks.


Learned your lesson yet?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

Oh my, this is very triggering for me. I don't know if I can handle hearing about this.

Everybody please pray that the Lord will give me strength while Brother Harold unburdens himself and tells us every traumatic detail of his ordeal.

Go on, Brother Harold. Let it all out.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Perhaps Presbyterian Is Right For Me?

I was raped.

Brother Harold, you went to a so-called church founded by Scotchmen, who wear skirts without underpants for ease of access, and you are surprised at this?

Enough of this dangerous experimentation. Come home to us, Brother, I beg you.