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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
Thank you Sister! Yes, the Lord has granted me another year in which I can spread His Word.
I feel as pleased as Herod (although he was a bad bad man
) in Matthew 14:6.
I would preach to the harlot in front of me, who reminds me of this verse, but given the state of my bullhorn, I might lack volume in this nightcl... eh, den of inequity.Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it. -
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
I heard you got release from prison, great.
And now your birthday, even better.
Now that we got all that out of the way, when can I expect to get back the axe you borrowed 3 years ago?5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
Funny story; Brother WO would have been released months ago, but the godless Europistani prison that was holding him wanted money, and I told Miss Cookie to send them a case of KJV Bibles with a note that proclaimed "Landover Baptist Church does NOT negotiate with Belgistani terrorists! Go pound some truffles up your ass."Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I think they actually added some time to his sentence, but it was worth it.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
Happy birthday, Brother! Good to have you back. I hope Mrs Open cooks your favorite meal.sigpic Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babiesComment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
Oh, yes, the axe. I'm afraid it got stuck somewhere - funny story that, it involved mattocks too. I will send you a new one as soon as I get my stipend!Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
1 Samuel 13:21
Yet they had a file for the mattocks, and for the coulters, and for the forks, and for the axes, and to sharpen the goads.
Amen Pastor. You just don't negotiate with terrorists, and I'm sure they got the message!Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Thank you Mr. Pendergast. How lovely such a meal would be, but alas, Mrs WO died in a horrible garden accident in 2007 just after I got saved by the Landover Baptist Church. I still think the Lord punished her for serving me effete pasta.Originally posted by Pim Pendergast View Post
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
Happy Birthday, Brother! I have little doubt you have taken another step to be closer to God and I will pray for Him to take you soon. Nothing is more glorious that sitting on His right hand.
I know you are out of town at the moment but upon your return, please allow me to trat you to an evening at the Landover Mens Club.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
A most blessed (if not belated) birthday to you, Brother Wide-Open! Your tireless dedication to reaching out to the unsavory members of society is an inspiration to us all. Well, an inspiration in spirit, anyway. I admit to being grateful the LORD hasn't called me out on the mission field, but I am happy to support your efforts from the comfort of my home through prayer and continued fund raising from the school children here.Originally posted by Wide-Open View Post
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
I saw this thread and thought for a second that I'd forgotten Sam Woo's birthday. That Chinaman would never let me hear the end of it if I did.WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother WO!!
Don't be ridiculous. Slants don't celebrate birthdays.Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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