X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10050
    #16
    Re: New Christian Comix!

    Is this true, Mistress Cookie? Are you really GOP Woman?

    I think I'm starting to develop a little crush on you.

    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment

      • Mistress Cookie
        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
        True Christian™
        • Jul 2008
        • 6790
        #17
        Re: New Christian Comix!

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        Is this true, Mistress Cookie? Are you really GOP Woman?
        A GREAT ending to a GREAT story! I've OF COURSE been 1000% behind this from the start and didn't doubt for a second this story would be all it could be.

        Congrats to everyone who helped bring this awesome project to life...and I'm extra glad I co-own 25% of the movie and television rights in holding with the church.

        Now if we can just get the copper hair color in the right shade, we're good to GO!

        Thanks again! When do we investors start getting our checks?

        Philippians 2:15 - That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world!

        This is our joined path...and The Lord™ is glad in it ..... : )




        .

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556
            #18
            Re: New Christian Comix!

            Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post

            Thanks again! When do we investors start getting our checks?
            That's not quite how it works. You send me your checks, which makes you an investor in God's Kingdom up in Heaven. You will be rewarded 10 fold! I personally guarantee it! This is all a part of Project Habakkuk. You'll see! Get those checks in as quick as you can because Jesus is watching. Oh, GLORY I can TASTE it!
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Alphonse Alban
                Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
                 
                • Feb 2011
                • 5724
                #19
                Re: New Christian Comix!

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                This is all a part of Project Habakkuk. You'll see! Get those checks in as quick as you can because Jesus is watching. Oh, GLORY I can TASTE it!
                When the time comes, can I please be in charge of the lions? After that one incident I got stuck with a growing herd of lions and they are starting to get on my nerves. Apparently my order went in after all, before I managed to cancel it...

                  Comment

                  • Brother Larry
                    True Christian™
                    Forum Member
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 234
                    #20
                    Re: New Christian Comix!

                    The devil and his minions are already trying to thwart this project. I'm sure some of you have seen this article in the Des Moines newspaper:

                    (AP Des Moines) Controversial Landover Baptist Church of Freehold has once again attracted the attention of the community with its Project Habakkuk and Pastor Zeke comic, aimed at young boys but with a suspected motive of fueling the Christian right's flame and using children to convince mom and dad to give more of their money (in these tough economic times) to faith based projects instead of needy organizations like Planned Parenthood and Abortions R Us.

                    The comic features Pastor Ezekiel as some prayer-induced super hero, but the fact remains Zeke is no hero. Greed oozes off every page, and we've yet to see Zeke fight anyone, instead leaving it to the attractive Mistress Cookie, attention whore of Babylon and failed actress last seen in the heyday of RKO studios, where she "starred" in yawners like "The Days of the Gecko," and "Arizona Mining Saga." Of Ms. Cookie, famous stylist Serge Matthieu des Pardes said, "That color! Mary, let me tell you, no self respecting diva would be caught dead in last year's shade."

                    This reporter plans to expose Project Habakkuk during an interview with Rachel Maddow on the only true news channel, MSNBC, that airs next Thursday evening. In the meantime, Des Moines, get the word out to your friends and neighbors so that Democrats and Liberals can stop this scourge. The citizens of Iowa and our pluralistic nation can move ahead without this needless religious interference that is attempting to undermine the goals of self respecting atheists and other logical individuals.

                    Because of this article, I am increasing my tithes from 60% to 80% and including an offering for the Habakkuk Project of $300 every month. The devil shall not win.

                      Comment

                      • Mistress Cookie
                        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                        True Christian™
                        • Jul 2008
                        • 6790
                        #21
                        Re: New Christian Comix!

                        Originally posted by Brother Larry View Post
                        Because of this article, I am increasing my tithes...The devil shall not win.
                        Praise, Brother.

                        I am stunned by this article you've brought before us. There's lots to say, obviously, but I believe the Pastors and Male Elders (and maybe my former publicist??) must be preparing a response.

                        I am but a dainty, wee cog in the mighty machinery of God™.



                        .

                          Comment

                          • SlayerOfSodomites
                            Unsaved trash
                            Under Investigation
                            • Oct 2013
                            • 1
                            #22
                            Re: New Christian Comix!

                            An excellent comic with a righteous message! I'll be forwarding this to those who attend church with me!

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...