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  • A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

    Brothers and sisters: I humbly submit my first ever poem which was thrust into my mind literally moments ago upon seeing the forum homepage.

    Please let me know your opinion of it. It is from the heart, true to be told, and a poet I am certainly not (although I do think the rhymes are harmonious), but I did feel the needd to share my striving for the True Path and share this with you all.

    I humbly welcome any advice to improve it, though I feel that a poem written almost in rapture is enough in itself. As I said, I would like to know if it is worthy. Thanks you.



    Alas, am I a sinner poor
    My old beliefs were horse manure
    The light I saw some time back
    A King James Bible on a rack
    of a Christian bookshop.

    My name, Lost Sheep, means that I
    know I am not yet high and dry
    regarding Salvation which I will try
    to achieve in a Christian charitable honouring the Lord Jesus in an appropriate way before I die
    after which I hope to see you all in the afterlife.

    My thanks I give to Pastor Zeke
    for his giving me the occasional spiritual tweek
    as I struggle to put the past behind me
    and leave the sin that once did bind me
    to quite nasty heathen practices

    Born a Scot
    it is my lot
    to get shot
    of the God-hated heathenness that would make one more than sufficiently deserve to be shot
    straight to the bad fire underneath Iceland.

    So I pray thee Lord
    Take out thy sword
    and beknight me with the strength
    to fulfill the guidance my Brethren here give me at great length
    and God Bless them all a million times over three times doubled fairly.

    This prayer I offer up
    the whiskey bottle I long past gave up
    for a better cup
    from which to sup
    up and up
    and finish that cup
    and take up
    The true Christian path.

    Pray help on my new-found road
    let the sinner next me goad
    and leave him with his brain of toad
    and welcome me in thy abode.

    Amen.

    Lost Shhep MacUinnean,
    Last edited by Lost Sheep McUinnean; 02-25-2010, 01:26 PM. Reason: Spelling mistake, a mockery of good christian grammar

  • #2
    Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

    Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post
    Born a Scot
    it is my lot
    to get shot
    of the God-hated heathenness that would make one more than sufficiently deserve to be shot
    straight to the bad fire underneath Iceland.
    Mr.McUinnean, i gonna prays that you get saveds so you not go to the bad fire unnerneath iceland please lord God, saves him!

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    • #3
      Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

      Thank you petal, but I meant the heathenishness inherent in Scotland. That's waaaaaay behind me now I hope!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

        Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post
        Thank you petal, but I meant the heathenishness inherent in Scotland. That's waaaaaay behind me now I hope!
        i real glads to hear that, Mr.McUinnean, cuz i not wants you to go to hell when you dies cuz then you woulds have to spends all eternitys wiv a bunch of eskimos an athiests an wickers an even catlicks

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        • #5
          Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

          Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post
          I meant the heathenishness inherent in Scotland. That's waaaaaay behind me now I hope!
          And there are still a lot of sheep in ScotLand - are there not?

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          • #6
            Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

            Originally posted by SUV View Post
            And there are still a lot of sheep in ScotLand - are there not?
            I left Scotland 20 years ago. Last I knew a mad cousin of mine (McCanick) had hatched a plan to assassinate all of them. He bought himself a rifle, headed up to the highlands and was never seen again since. Rumours abound of some type of predator decimating sheep populations, but to be honest I have no idea. McCanick is aldo clinically insane. Insane enough to be English in fact.

            What did you think of my poem?

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            • #7
              Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

              Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post
              What did you think of my poem?
              It was rather excellent.

              Would that I could get that other poem (set to music) off of my mind now: "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"

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              • #8
                Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

                Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post
                What did you think of my poem?
                Good!
                5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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                • #9
                  Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

                  Thank you all. I feel inspired enough now to write another. I shall be wroking on one dedicated to the Glories of our God-given farm animals I think. Perhaps, cows. I could write anudder one on that I think.

                  Pray He giveth me the candle of rhyme and glorification brethren!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

                    That was an excellent poem! You have a talent, sir. I eagerly await your next one.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

                      Well, Brother, your poem's a start, but let's not overlook its numerous omissions, which include:

                      * Only one mention of our precious Jesus Holy name
                      * No mention of God's favorite Church, Landover Baptist
                      * Tithing? Do you think it's optional?
                      * Gun ownership? Do you take it for granted?
                      * Osambo? Don't you think he's the antichrist?
                      * Your responsibility to breed soldiers for Christ? Your poem sure doesn't show any desire in that area
                      * Your love of BibleThumpinBlond's pie? Do you think we just know these things?
                      * Your desire to enjoy the fellowship of True Christians™ only and to leave fluffy bunny Christians behind? Where's that?

                      Well, I could go on, but probably others can add to the list I've started.
                      sigpic

                      I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: A Poem was Thrust into my heart. I share it with you.

                        Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                        Well, Brother, your poem's a start, but let's not overlook its numerous omissions, which include:

                        * Only one mention of our precious Jesus Holy name
                        * No mention of God's favorite Church, Landover Baptist
                        * Tithing? Do you think it's optional?
                        * Gun ownership? Do you take it for granted?
                        * Osambo? Don't you think he's the antichrist?
                        * Your responsibility to breed soldiers for Christ? Your poem sure doesn't show any desire in that area
                        * Your love of BibleThumpinBlond's pie? Do you think we just know these things?
                        * Your desire to enjoy the fellowship of True Christians™ only and to leave fluffy bunny Christians behind? Where's that?

                        Well, I could go on, but probably others can add to the list I've started.
                        Thank you immensely Brother. That is EXACTLY the type of critique I need. I shall thry to address these failings when writing again.

                        God Bless you and your literary skills.

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