[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

I don't really know Ixi yet.
I think I see a good heart lost in dark things.

Until Ixi offers a poem of her own, her better self--what am I to think ?
but that she is yet a child, and needs be ministered to by wiser heads than mine.

Catch her, someone, please before she goes down, corroded stone.

I see why the board persists to guide her to a better way.
She may redeem herself here at least, perhaps by starting a poem in her own words,
toward spiritual renewal.

Ixi, we'll offer gentle, constructive help to any honest offering.

The idea is not to roll around in self-annointments,
but to start with a message to deliver; perhaps a question.
Then finish with a resolution fitting the matter at hand.



Cheers
Peter

[SUV]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Okay, I wanna have a go now too:

Jesus.

JESUS!

(Well? It was the only thing I could think of that rhymed with "Jesus!")

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

It is song lyrics too. But will the person who wrote it really want to admit it? A Google of the first line or two brings up the lyrics but not who they are by.

According to google, it's a bunch of Satanists called Evanescence. Icky, let this be your first and last warning:
If you must write prose or poems,
Let the words you use be your own,
Don't plagarise or take "on loan".

[Enobarbus]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

According to google, it's a bunch of Satanists called Evanescence. Icky, let this be your first and last warning:
If you must write prose or poems,
Let the words you use be your own,
Don't plagarise or take "on loan".

Oh, the Good Lord protect us, not Evanescence. They were the favourite band of Evanescence the Mary-Wordhipping Catylicker girl from the catylicker's forum who used to troll us. They are most certainly of the Devil.

To be fair, young Iksie Pixie has put at the bottom that the words are a song. She just didn't make it very plain. I'm inclined to agree with Peter that Iksie may be essentially a good-hearted person if she were only able to wrench herself free of Satan's vice-like-grip and discover the Lord. This Satanically inspired paganistic rubbish and wolf-worship is leading her to the Flames of Hell.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: LBC Personality Verse #3 (again)

I'm bringing her verse to the front again.
Ixi, see, I did not steal this from anyone.
True, I "borrowed" an allusion from TD,
and I had Jesus spy into your core,
and report back to me here.

Ixi, make a poem of yourself or of some other person? Like Jesus! Like, think for yourself.
Avoid stealing. Avoid the easy catchphrase, 'k?

Praise your Lord now say Amen.

++++++++++++++++++++











Atop Cathedral Notre Damn
gargoyles gob
green eggs and ham.

Dead Dr. Seusse
seen hov'ring there, that
versing Jew of cat-hat-where.

The smallest of damned gothic charms
corrodes in stone in Satan's arms.
Yes, it is the gentle pixie
girlie goth we know as Ixi.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

The landover baptists are truly quite mad

Here's one I made up just now:

The Landover baptists are truly quite mad
Alarmingly so, and it is quite sad
They simply cannot see any sense
One wonders, were they born so dense?

The landover baptists live by the book
The will not use their eyes to look
And see the proof that the Earth isn't flat
Truly, their belfries house many a bat

The landover baptists believe in a goon
and believe that world's going to end very soon
They spend all their time thinking about the rapture
And boast how many heathens they plan to capture

Yes the landover baptists are truly insane
Yet in this they revel, and are not ashamed
I wonder what will happen the second they die
And realize at that moment that their book lied.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

"Rachael Van Helsing",
interesting name.
Tries to make sense, but
completely insane.

Reads science fiction
thinks it's the truth,
ain't smart enough
to pour piss from a boot.

last time we looked, she
was pushing her cart
to that big cardboard box,
her home in the park.

Bats in her belfry
a quart low on oil
she crafts fashion hats
from aluminum foil.

[Enobarbus]

Re: The landover baptists are truly quite mad

Here's one I made up just now:

The Landover baptists are truly quite mad
Alarmingly so, and it is quite sad
They simply cannot see any sense
One wonders, were they born so dense?

The landover baptists live by the book
The will not use their eyes to look
And see the proof that the Earth isn't flat
Truly, their belfries house many a bat

The landover baptists believe in a goon
and believe that world's going to end very soon
They spend all their time thinking about the rapture
And boast how many heathens they plan to capture

Yes the landover baptists are truly insane
Yet in this they revel, and are not ashamed
I wonder what will happen the second they die
And realize at that moment that their book lied.

Absolutely pathetic. Are there even two lines that scan? Do you really think that making the last words in lines rhyme will produce reall poetry?

Satan has addled your brain in more ways than one. See Pastor Pistle's effort for an example of someone who knows something about the craft of poetry.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Yes, Rachael, you didn't exactly roll out the Reynolds, did you?
No, afraid not. Its as bumpy as crepe paper.

Here's the finest foil,
in metric perfection,
excerpted:


Bats in her belfry
a quart low on oil
she crafts fashion hats
from aluminum foil.


Point: metrical poetry is just one form.
poetry need not rhyme ab ab or aba, nor rhyme at all.
Until you master the basic iamb--and even if you do,
it's best to avoid strict rhyme. For to rhyme as Al did requires
an ear you have yet to develop.

Tossed off poems rarely work properly. Revise and represent
your poem?

Or make an honorarium poem for one of your betters here.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: The landover baptists are truly quite mad

An insult!

Pastor Alan Edward Pistle
his brain as dense as lead
His insults, though they make one bristle
Are passe to the point of dead

Crazy bible thumping man
Who just lost a debate
A shame, it was just not his plan
To prove him wrong, was truly great

Enobarbus and his scorn
Are well and truly ill-deserved
For he's most likely watching porn
When claiming to read bible verse

Enobarbus, english professor
teaching english to snotty nosed kids
Come on, Eno, in the field of insults,
Surely you can do better than this?

[Enobarbus]

Re: The landover baptists are truly quite mad

An insult!

Pastor Alan Edward Pistle
his brain as dense as lead
His insults, though they make one bristle
Are passe to the point of dead

Crazy bible thumping man
Who just lost a debate
A shame, it was just not his plan
To prove him wrong, was truly great

Enobarbus and his scorn
Are well and truly ill-deserved
For he's most likely watching porn
When claiming to read bible verse

Enobarbus, english professor
teaching english to snotty nosed kids
Come on, Eno, in the field of insults,
Surely you can do better than this?

A old girl called rachael was a witch
But her attempts to cast spells struck a hitch
Try as often as she might
She just never got it right
And every spell that she cast made her itch

Hands up every one of you who thought that I was going to use the word "bitch" ? Come on be honest.

[Enobarbus]

Re: The landover baptists are truly quite mad

An insult!
Drivel removed.

Old Rachael the wicked wicked witch
Was born at the bottom of a ditch
Her father was a bore
And her mother a whore
And she is just one hell of a bitch

Hands up all those of you who put your hands up before when I asked if you thought I was going to use the word 'bitch'? You were right.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Tossed off poems rarely work properly.

Shocking though it may be, that poem isn't the worst thing Hellsinner's tossed off.

[Enobarbus]

Re: The landover baptists are truly quite mad

An insult!

Pastor Alan Edward Pistle
his brain as dense as lead
His insults, though they make one bristle
Are passe to the point of dead

Crazy bible thumping man
Who just lost a debate
A shame, it was just not his plan
To prove him wrong, was truly great

Enobarbus and his scorn
Are well and truly ill-deserved
For he's most likely watching porn
When claiming to read bible verse

Enobarbus, english professor
teaching english to snotty nosed kids
Come on, Eno, in the field of insults,
Surely you can do better than this?

You are poetically tone deaf. It is astonishing that you would actually post something like that. Have you no idea how bad it is?

Satan certainly has put scales on your eyes.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: The landover baptists are truly quite mad

Lookit, Eno, I wrote this in about two minutes while drinking a cup of tea at work. It was meant to be quick and nasty, not a poetic masterpiece. Sheesh.