It's the TEN COMMANDMENTS, Dummy!

[Shirlee Phelps-Dodge]

As y'all know, I don't go loggin on the Innernet all too much. Too danged much perversion, if ya ask me. Satan everwhere.

Don't wanna see it, don't wanna know it.

But sometimes I come here, where some real Christians do battle with those deviants and perverts and Satan-loving fools.

Ever time, some dang fool is carryin on bout the Ten Commandments. "Oh, you shouldn't execute people God says to execute, because one of the Ten Commandments says 'Thou shalt not kill.'" Fools can't tell the difference between killing and executing.

Whenever I ask one of these morons to list the Ten Commandments, he can't. Why? Cuz he's a MORON, that's why!

I wrote this here little essay for some friends, who kindly put it up on their website. Edited the livin daylights out of it, they did, made it all friendly and pleasant. BAH!

Here it is anyway. READ IT before whining more about the Ten Commandments!!

The Ten Commandments and You

Our inspiration, Sarah Palin, is a woman shaped by God's Word. As noted in this Newsweek article,

Her sense of personal mission may be rooted in her religious upbringing. She was raised in a tradition that tended to emphasize an intimate connection with God, through the Holy Spirit—a tradition that puts the believer at the center of the spiritual drama, in direct communion with the Lord. Formed in such a milieu, it is not surprising that someone like Palin would have a heightened sense of self, and of the possibilities of self, for she was taught from her earliest days that she could be directly moved by God. Friends say the Ten Commandments imbued her with a strong sense of right and wrong.

Many people say that they, too, follow the Ten Commandments. They want to see them posted in courthouses and schools across the country.

We, the Paliban, support these efforts! However, many people can't even list the Ten Commandments.

Let's review!
Exodus 20:

1 And God spake all these words, saying,

2 I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

That's right. In Commandment #1, God directs us to pray to Him ONLY. We, being a Christian nation, should vividly remind the nonbelievers who come to our courthouses and schools that they do not belong here!

4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

This looks like a direction not to create any representational artworks, but there's a follow-up:

5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

In other words, Commandment #2 tells us not to pray to paintings or statues. I can't think of anyone who does that . . . well, besides Hindus and Catholics and . . . you get the idea.

As a Christian nation, we should destroy all idols, and outlaw their possession.

7 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Some people think Commandment #3 is a reference to using the Lord's name as a cuss word; while that's certainly blasphemy, what this really means is swearing on the Lord's name falsely. Since in America, we swear before God in court, we the Paliban believe perjury should carry the death penalty.

8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Why are stores, restaurants, gas stations, and other businesses open on Sundays? God forbids it in His Fourth Commandment, even if they're run by Jews (the "stranger that is within thy gates") or other unbelievers! We the Paliban support following ALL Ten Commandments, and closing all businesses on Sundays. We also support the punishment of those who deny God His special day.

12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Commandment #5 seems pretty simple, but people just don't get it. We the Paliban support laws to rein in unruly children, and the reversal of laws which prevent parents from properly disciplining their young.

13 Thou shalt not kill.

The Sixth Commandment, frequently misunderstood, is a reference to murder, not execution. God commands us to execute all sorts of people; adulterers, sodomites, unruly children, and certain victims of rape, for starters!

14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Commandment Seven is not limited to "stepping out" like John Edwards and Bill Clinton are wont to do. Divorce is not recognized in God's eyes; therefore, divorcing and remarrying (as done by future President Palin's false-Christian running mate, John McCain) is committing adultery. Adulterers are to be executed; a law God's Law and we, the Paliban, would support!

15 Thou shalt not steal.

Does the Eighth Commandment say, "Thou shalt not steal BIG things"? No. It says not to steal at all. That includes stealing cable. That includes plagiarizing writing (stealing ideas). ALL stealing is a sin, and is to be punished!

16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

A bit redundant, perhaps, Commandment Nine addresses perjury again.

17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Commandment Ten tells us that jealousy is thought crime. Covetousness is to be punished, as it is forbidden by God.

Are YOU following ALL TEN Commandments?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: It's the TEN COMMANDMENTS, Dummy!

Sister Phelps-Dodge, a joy as always to see you back here and in good form. The above needed posting and has done for a long time. Landover thanks you.

You know, I too see the internets as an encumbrance, why, in our day (if I may make so bold) preaching through a bullhorn was the way to get the message across to hundreds.

Ahem, to my point, your friend’s website – most interesting, informative and educational - is in fact here and the Ten Commandments are here.