[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Why John McCain lost

I just need more time! Just a bit more time! Please. And some markers and kite string, I need more markers and string for making the connections!

I bet they've got some right outside. I hear that Bobby-Joe always carries some with him. How about you open that door so he can give it to you, okay?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Why John McCain lost

Captain A, don't you think that your research would go better with a few wise friends to help?

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Why John McCain lost

Mr. Portway, I believe the Lord just relieved something to me, and I'm very shocked by it. Not once do you mention having a Bible with you in your shelter. How could you possibly come to the knowledge of the truth without a Bible?

"Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." 2 Timothy 3:7

The reason you can't figure it out is because you don't have a Bible in hand...but that also raises some questions.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Why John McCain lost

Captain A, I think you should whip out your well-worn copy of "The Audacity of Hope" (I noticed it in your pocket at the Witch Hunt), and review page 173 (= 11) against the Snickers bar wrapper with lot number KMQT-91109-316.

Do you see?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Why John McCain lost

Yes!!!! That's it! It all makes sense now! Thank you Reverend!

It was Brother JH all along! And Bill Poole was part of it too, before Seth "fixed" that situation!

According to my calculations, Brother JH has Landover AirJesus III somewhere in Utah, near the Great Salt Lake.

He probably landed it on the Bonneville Salt Flats and then walked to the nearest LDS church!

I'll open the doors so you can all see my work. See you in a few minutes, I need to find the combination. It's here somewhere. And you'll get used to the smell down here in a few minutes.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Why John McCain lost

I'll open the doors so you can all see my work. See you in a few minutes, I need to find the combination. It's here somewhere. And you'll get used to the smell down here in a few minutes.

Teddy is backing the truck up Portway. Get it in GEAR NOW BOY!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Why John McCain lost

BJ? Captain A? Is everything OK?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Why John McCain lost

It's been unlocked for almost an hour! I can't lift that door up myself from down here! I almost crushed myself getting it closed. I've been yelling for you guys to open it. Didn't you here me?

And does anybody up there have potato chips? I think my electrolite balance is out of whack, on account of all the can fruit I've been eating and the . . . well, you know what happens when you eat too much fruit.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Why John McCain lost

It's been unlocked for almost an hour! I can't lift that door up myself from down here! I almost crushed myself getting it closed. I've been yelling for you guys to open it. Didn't you here me?

And does anybody up there have potato chips? I think my electrolite balance is out of whack, on account of all the can fruit I've been eating and the . . . well, you know what happens when you eat too much fruit.

Grrrr.

[Star Finder]

Re: Why John McCain lost

Mr. Portway, I believe the Lord just relieved something on me,

Sure Seth, I'm sure he did. I didn't realize that your whole kick was to get your fake diety to go poopy on your head...

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Why John McCain lost

Sure Seth, I'm sure he did. I didn't realize that your whole kick was to get your fake diety to go poopy on your head...

Get back on topic instead of making up disgusting sexual escapades on God's Favorite Forum, sinner! If you don't have something constructive to add, don't post!

[JennyD]

Re: Why John McCain lost

If you don't have something constructive to add, don't post!

Pot, meet kettle.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Why John McCain lost

Pot, meet kettle.

Thanks for your Christian criticism, JennyD. By the way, I like your signature. Palin in 2012!!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Why John McCain lost

OK, these rumours about me have to stop. I've had it!

I did NOT vote for Obama. OK, I did, but as a prank to impress my friends. I assumed the vote wouldn't count, as I'm not a US citizen (much like Barack Obama), so there was no harm in it. I had borrowed the ballot from my friend Seymour Flesh, and he is a US expat, so the prank may have gotten a little out of hand.

And how could I know that my congregation would follow my lead?

I know politics is serious business, but I was convinced that McCain would win anyway. So I had a few drinks too many and made a simple judgement error. BIG DEAL!

So I hope this cleared it up, and I can continue my journey with Jesus.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Why John McCain lost

OK, these rumours about me have to stop. I've had it!

I did NOT vote for Obama. OK, I did, but as a prank to impress my friends. I assumed the vote wouldn't count, as I'm not a US citizen (much like Barack HUSSEIN Obama), so there was no harm in it. I had borrowed the ballot from my friend Seymour Flesh, and he is a US expat, so the prank may have gotten a little out of hand.

And how could I know that my congregation would follow my lead?

I know politics is serious business, but I was convinced that McCain would win anyway. So I had a few drinks too many and made a simple judgement error. BIG DEAL!

So I hope this cleared it up, and I can continue my journey with Jesus.

You SEE! It was THEM, it wasn't ME! I'm innocent of everything! Did I see you all laughing at me?

I knew it, you're all in cahoots! Sister Sue, Brother Wide, Clarence, Brother JH, the late Bill Poole, ALL OF YOU!

I knew I'd figure it out. Brother BJ didn't think I could but I did! I DID!

I saved Landover, me! I'm the hero. Praise ME!