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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Homers Attack General

    In an unpresedented attack, our Godly President GWB has had to suffer the slings and arrows of yet another onslaught from the radical queer agenda. His hand-picked candidate for General of the Surgeons is being unfairly persecuted, simply for doing his Christian duty to keep sodomites out of church. Brothers and sisters, let us keep him in our prayers.

    Gay Groups Decry Surgeon General Nominee

    Lexington, Ky. - President Bush's nominee for surgeon general, Kentucky cardiologist Dr. James Holsinger, has come under fire from gay rights groups for, among other things, voting to expel a lesbian pastor from the United Methodist Church and writing in 1991 that gay sex is unnatural and unhealthy.

    Also, Holsinger helped found a Methodist congregation that, according to gay rights activists, believes homosexuality is a matter of choice and can be "cured."

    "He has a pretty clear bias against gays and lesbians," said Christina Gilgor, director of the Kentucky Fairness Alliance, a gay rights group. "This ideology flies in the face of current scientific medical studies. That makes me uneasy that he rejects science and promotes ideology."

    Holsinger, 68, has declined all interview requests, and the White House had no immediate comment Wednesday.

    Holsinger served as Kentucky's health secretary and chancellor of the University of Kentucky's medical center. He taught at several medical schools and spent more than three decades in the Army Reserve, retiring in 1993 as a major general.

    The previous surgeon general was Dr. Richard Carmona, whose term was allowed to expire last summer. Carmona issued an unprecedented report condemning secondhand smoke.

    Gov. Ernie Fletcher commended Holsinger for working to fight obesity and other health problems in this Appalachian state, which ranks near the bottom in many categories. "He helped get the ball rolling and focusing on healthy lifestyles," Fletcher said.

    As president of the Methodist Church's national Judicial Council, Holsinger voted last year to support a pastor who blocked a gay man from joining a congregation. In 2004, he voted to expel a lesbian from the clergy. The majority of the panel voted to keep the lesbian associate pastor in place, citing questions about whether she had openly declared her homosexuality, but Holsinger dissented.

    Sixteen years ago, he wrote a paper for the church in which he likened the reproductive organs to male and female "pipe fittings" and argued that homosexuality is therefore biologically unnatural.

    "When the complementarity of the sexes is breached, injuries and diseases may occur," Holsinger wrote, citing studies showing higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases among gay men and the risk of injury from anal sex.

    Holsinger wrote the paper at a time when the church was one of numerous denominations considering a more open stance on allowing practicing homosexuals to join. It took that step in 1992, saying gays are of "sacred worth" who should be welcomed. Practicing homosexuals are still prohibited from serving in the clergy.

    Gilgor, the gay rights activist, called the paper "one twisted piece of work."

    As for the congregation Holsinger helped establish, Hope Springs Community Church, the Rev. David Calhoun told the Lexington Herald-Leader last week that the Lexington church helps some gay members to "walk out of that lifestyle."

    The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, which is opposing the nomination along with the Human Rights Campaign and other local and national groups, calls such a practice "nothing short of torture" for gays.
    I say again; the radical homers out there will not rest until they recruit every man, woman, child and farm animal into their unnatural and perverted lifestyle. This attack is a warning! Christians, arise!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329

    #2
    Re: Homers Attack General

    Brother Zeke, I can't believe we haven't made Dr. James Holsinger an honorary member of God's favorite church. I know he's a Methodless, but still, he has so much potential! Perhaps he might be able to help our own (initials O Y K) with his little problem? Anyway, enough said, as always, I am proud to be in the Heaven-bound 20 percent of Bush supporters!
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

    Comment

    • Brother Temperance
      Senior Usher
      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
      A very nice young man
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 15621

      #3
      Re: Homers Attack General

      President Bush's nominee for surgeon general, Kentucky cardiologist Dr. James Holsinger, has come under fire from gay rights groups for, among other things, voting to expel a lesbian pastor from the United Methodist Church and writing in 1991 that gay sex is unnatural and unhealthy.
      What do they want? Are they going to keep on throwing hissy fits until they can find a doctor who claims that having GRIDS is good for you?
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

      Comment

      • Deaner
        Christ's Love Messenger
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 5932

        #4
        Re: Homers Attack General

        Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
        What do they want? Are they going to keep on throwing hissy fits until they can find a doctor who claims that having GRIDS is good for you?
        I liked this part of the story...

        Originally posted by Homer;
        "This ideology flies in the face of current scientific medical studies. That makes me uneasy that he rejects science and promotes ideology."
        Can I put another nail in the coffin of science here? If I go to a scientist and tell him I want to put broom handles up my butt; he's going to tell me I'm sick and I need treatment. But if I tell him I want to put anonymous men's choo-choo's up my butt in bus station washrooms; he's going to say that's normal for a queer, there's nothing wrong with you. Can anybody else see the blatant hypocrisy here??

        Comment

        • Old Iron Crotch
          SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
          • May 2007
          • 3056

          #5
          Re: Homers Attack General

          Originally posted by Deaner View Post
          I liked this part of the story...



          Can I put another nail in the coffin of science here? If I go to a scientist and tell him I want to put broom handles up my butt; he's going to tell me I'm sick and I need treatment. But if I tell him I want to put anonymous men's choo-choo's up my butt in bus station washrooms; he's going to say that's normal for a queer, there's nothing wrong with you. Can anybody else see the blatant hypocrisy here??
          Actually if you told him that you wanted to put a locomotive up your derriere, he would probably refer you to a psychiatrist.
          Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

          Comment

          • Deaner
            Christ's Love Messenger
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 5932

            #6
            Re: Homers Attack General

            Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
            Actually if you told him that you wanted to put a locomotive up your derriere, he would probably refer you to a psychiatrist.
            Wrong sugar-face. First he'd do some simple tests to see if I was "just a queer"; then failing that he'd send me to a psychiatrist.

            Comment

            • Old Iron Crotch
              SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
              • May 2007
              • 3056

              #7
              Re: Homers Attack General

              Originally posted by Deaner View Post
              Wrong sugar-face. First he'd do some simple tests to see if I was "just a queer"; then failing that he'd send me to a psychiatrist.

              So try out your theory. Go to a doctor who graduated from an accredited medical school, and tell him, "Doctor, I wish to put a choo choo up my rectum."
              I'd bet the rent the first question he would ask you is "Why are you using baby talk for a locomotive and why do you want to put one up your rectum?"
              Last edited by Old Iron Crotch; 06-07-2007, 12:58 PM.
              Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

              Comment

              • Deaner
                Christ's Love Messenger
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 5932

                #8
                Re: Homers Attack General

                Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                I'd bet the rent the first question he would ask you is "Why are you using baby talk for a locomotive and why do you want to put one up your rectum?"
                No, first thing he'd say is "Hmm...sounds like you're a queer. No need to use baby talk, it's perfectly normal."
                Last edited by Deaner; 06-07-2007, 01:12 PM.

                Comment

                • Old Iron Crotch
                  SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                  • May 2007
                  • 3056

                  #9
                  Re: Homers Attack General

                  Originally posted by Deaner View Post
                  No, first thing he's say is "Hmm...sounds like you're a queer. No need to use baby talk, it's perfectly normal."

                  If you told him that you desired another man's penis in your rectum, then he would probably tell you that you were a perfectly normal homosexual, which you would be.
                  Trains - that's a whole different ball game.

                  That's why it's important to use accurate language.
                  Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78556

                    #10
                    Re: Homers Attack General

                    Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                    So try out your theory. Go to a doctor who graduated from an accredited medical school, and tell him, "Doctor, I wish to put a choo choo up my rectum."
                    I'd bet the rent the first question he would ask you is "Why are you using baby talk for a locomotive and why do you want to put one up your rectum?"
                    These days doctors aren't even allowed to send queers off to see a psychiatrist. Ever since that bulldyke Nancy Peloskini took office the laws have gotten screwy. In the good old days (when Dwight D. Eisenhower was president) if they found out you were a fairy they'd lock you up in the nut house for life and cure you with electroshocks.

                    Betty Bowers' BASH program is much more advanced, but retains that Eisenhower flavor....
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • Deaner
                      Christ's Love Messenger
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 5932

                      #11
                      Re: Homers Attack General

                      Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                      If you told him that you desired another man's penis in your rectum, then he would probably tell you that you were a perfectly normal homosexual, which you would be.
                      Trains - that's a whole different ball game.

                      That's why it's important to use accurate language.
                      You're the one who brought up trains you sicko. Maybe if you paid more attention to the warm embrace of Jesus instead of coddling homers you might be a little more focused.

                      Comment

                      • Old Iron Crotch
                        SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                        • May 2007
                        • 3056

                        #12
                        Re: Homers Attack General

                        Originally posted by Deaner View Post
                        You're the one who brought up trains you sicko. Maybe if you paid more attention to the warm embrace of Jesus instead of coddling homers you might be a little more focused.

                        Au contraire, dear Deaner. YOU were the one who used the term "choo choo" which originally came about as a result of the sound made by a steam locomotive and which is baby talk for a train.
                        Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                        Comment

                        • Deaner
                          Christ's Love Messenger
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 5932

                          #13
                          Re: Homers Attack General

                          Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                          Au contraire, dear Deaner. YOU were the one who used the term "choo choo" which originally came about as a result of the sound made by a steam locomotive and which is baby talk for a train.
                          Choo-choo is accepted Christian language for a man's member which originally came about as a result of Sister Glendora's dedication to making things acceptable to Jesus.

                          Dances with Joy is a rug-munching liar who came about as the result of a paid one night stand between a stripper and a wop house framer. Here's your original quote...

                          Originally posted by Liar who Dances
                          Actually if you told him that you wanted to put a locomotive up your derriere, he would probably refer you to a psychiatrist.

                          Comment

                          • Old Iron Crotch
                            SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                            • May 2007
                            • 3056

                            #14
                            Re: Homers Attack General

                            Originally posted by Deaner View Post
                            Choo-choo is accepted Christian language for a man's member which originally came about as a result of Sister Glendora's dedication to making things acceptable to Jesus.

                            If God/Jesus made your parts, then why would he find use of their proper names objectionable?

                            Dances with Joy is a rug-munching liar who came about as the result of a paid one night stand between a stripper and a wop house framer. Here's your original quote...
                            Really? My WASP Baptist schoolteacher mom will be surprised to learn that she is actually an Italian carpenter, and my Baptist dad will be surprised to learn that he is actually a Chippendale dancer. Should make for some interesting conversation at the next family reunion.
                            Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                            Comment

                            • Bobby-Joe
                              Landover Security Superviser
                              Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                              NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 18405

                              #15
                              Re: Homers Attack General

                              Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                              If God/Jesus made your parts, then why would he find use of their proper names objectionable?
                              So child of a Baptist,show us the word "penis" in The Bible.

                              That shouldn't be too hard for you.

                              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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                              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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